This is not your home, the son said to his mother
Dear mother, I remember that when we talked to **, you said that you were retired at home, and you had nothing to do, and you wanted to live with me for a while. This news made both mother and son very happy.
On the day you came, Xiaomeng was afraid that you didn't know the way, so she specially asked for leave to pick you up. I was on a business trip for a week last week, and not long after I came home and sat down, you came to me and asked me how my life with Xiaomeng was usual.
I heard your voice and asked what was going on, but you just said, "Xiaomeng doesn't know how to be a good wife." "For this matter, I talked to you and Xiaomeng for a long time, and finally figured out what the problem was.
I am writing this letter to tell you: "Mom, this is my home and Xiaomeng's home, but please remember that this is not your home. ”
It is often said that the existence of the generation gap makes there a difference in perception between people with a large age difference. Xiaomeng and I have not been married for a long time, but you and your father have retired, and the generation gap between us is obvious.
On many things, we often see things differently. A few days ago, the weather began to get cooler, and there was finally a little coolness in the heat of the south, and Xiaomeng still went to work in sandals and short sleeves as usual.
When you saw it, you reproached her: "It's so cold, why are you still wearing short sleeves and sandals?" Xiaomeng could only smile awkwardly and say that it was not cold. Another time, you saw her drinking warm water, and you said, "Drinking such cold water is not good for your health, you should boil it before drinking." ”
Without saying a word, you go up and pour out the warm water and boil it again. Xiaomeng explained to you that drinking too hot water and eating too hot food is not good for the body, it is easy to burn the throat membrane, and it is easy to get esophageal cancer.
But you say, "I've been drinking hot water all my life and it's fine, listen to me." "There are many differences in such living habits and concepts, not only between me and Xiaomeng, but also between me and you on these small things.
I would like to say that there is no need to be strong and harmonious between family members who have different concepts. Everyone will have different ideas and concepts due to differences in living environment and educational background, let alone two generations that are dozens of years apart?
Even if you are a family member, if you have to force others to be like yourself, you will not be able to live this life. A harmonious family is not the same for everyone, but despite their differences, they can still accept and tolerate each other.
The years are like walking non-stop, looking back on the past, those footprints have been deeply engraved in my heart. The stills from the movie "Keep Walking" allow you to experience the course of life and feel the flow of time.
I remember when I was a kid, you and your dad had a very good relationship and almost never argued. But the few arguments that revolve around the grandmother. It was when I was about to enter junior high school when my grandmother came to live in our house for a while.
As soon as grandma arrives at home, she is like a hostess, and she will ask about things at home. If something doesn't get her consent, she'll angrily blame Daddy and insinuate blame you.
For example, if you put too much salt in the dish, she will say that you can't cook; If you use the washing machine to do laundry, she will say that you are lazy and waste water and electricity; If you buy more clothes, she will say that you spend a lot of money ......In the face of grandma's majesty, Dad didn't speak for you at that time, and you couldn't argue with the old man, so you quarreled with Dad.
As a child, I didn't understand why such a thing happened, but then I understood: in a family, there can only be one mistress, and this person should be a wife, not a mother-in-law.
Mom, you're from the past, and you know this best. I hope you understand me. Before getting married, as a son, you were the mistress of the house; After getting married, as a husband, my wife is the unshakable hostess.
Psychologist Zeng Qifeng said: The relationship between husband and wife is the anchor of the family. So, in my heart, Xiaomeng is the core of this new family, not you.
In the movie "Keep Walking", we see an ordinary housewife who uses her hands to create a warm family atmosphere, while also not giving up the dream of pursuing self-worth.
Dear mother, I have seen and remembered your hard work all the time. Every time I come back from a business trip, you will prepare my favorite dishes for me, which makes me feel extremely warm and happy.
And you always do a good job of cleaning your home, so that people feel comfortable. Everything you do makes me feel that you care and care for me, but I have come to realize that you should have your own life, your own pursuits and dreams.
You've worked hard for so many years, and now that you're retired, it's time to enjoy your retirement. You once said that you want to travel, learn ballroom dancing, get a dog after retirement, these are your dreams.
And now that I'm married, I have the ability to take care of myself and my family. I hope you will find time to do what you want to do and pursue your hobbies, so that you will be happier and more satisfied.
Life is short, we should cherish every moment, do what we love, and be with the people we like. I hope you can enjoy your retirement and achieve your dreams, which is the happiest state of life.
This is a picture of family harmony, and in the stills from the movie "Walking Forever", the moment of family reunion is full of tranquility and harmony, as if time has stood still at this moment.
Ling Lan once said: "The best relationship is to keep a distance from each other." The same applies to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, parents and children. In order to reduce conflicts and build a harmonious relationship, we should keep our distance close and care for each other, but not interfere too much in each other's lives.
Dear mother, you may think that you are the closest person to me, Xiaomeng is an outsider, and I should not be so partial to her. But, Mom, the person who accompanied me through the wind and rain and spent this life with me is Xiaomeng, and it is my duty to protect her.
Foolishness is not advisable, and I don't want to be a foolish person. The mother-child relationship needs to go through a breakdown and rebuilding after the child gets married. Break the dependencies of the past and reconnect with those who are close but not across boundaries.
Marriage is a matter between husband and wife, and the most taboo thing is to have a third party intervene, no matter who the person is. Mom, you and Dad started a family, and now Xiaomeng and I have also started a family.
I hope you understand how painstaking it is to maintain my family. Next month, Dad is coming, and I've signed you up for a tour to the Nordics you've always wanted to go to. I hope you can enjoy your retirement and have a great trip.
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