Interpersonal relationships are comfortable, and the 28th rule is the most reliable
In social circles, an interesting formula is widely disseminated: high IQ + high EQ = spring breeze pride, low IQ + high EQ = noble people help each other, high IQ + low EQ = ambition is difficult to pay, low IQ + low EQ = nothing can be accomplished.
We all know that socializing with people is an inevitable part of life, and people with high emotional intelligence tend to be able to cope more smoothly. In fact, if you get along with others, follow the "28 law", and do the following four aspects, your emotional intelligence will definitely not be low.
The art of listening is about giving others the opportunity to express themselves, not just tell their own thoughts. According to the famous quote from Jane Eyre: "The embodiment of wisdom is not to talk about yourself, but to listen to others talk about yourself." ”
At an educational exhibition dinner, the story of a sales champion illustrates this truth. When he spoke to a potential client, he learned that he had just returned from a trip to Yunnan, and he immediately showed great interest in asking the client to share his travel experience.
The conversation was almost entirely about him listening to the client's experience, but the two talked for two hours. After the dinner, the prospect became his customer and brought him a big order.
Subsequently, the customer also introduced him to the business of several friends' companies. It was this opportunity that made him the sales champion of the year, and what is even more surprising is that he and his customers have become close friends.
Socrates once said, "God has given man two ears and two eyes, but only one mouth, which means that we are to listen more, see more, and talk less." ”
When we talk to people, we are always in a hurry to express our thoughts, but in fact, it is more important to listen. The essence of listening is that you are willing to understand others, and if you give others more opportunities to express themselves, it will be easier for you to get closer to each other.
Once you make someone feel comfortable, many things will naturally go smoothly. When talking to people, we should spend 80% of our time listening and 20% of our time expressing our thoughts.
With this wisdom of communication, you will be able to get along well with others.
In interpersonal relationships, the proper way for friends to get along with each other, like a function, the distance can fluctuate up and down. Relationships that are too close and encroach on each other's private space; If the relationship is too far away, it is easy to be estranged.
The best friend relationship should be as light as water, respecting and loving, and maintaining boundaries. No matter how close friends are, they must know how to sense of proportion, eight points close, two points far, in order to maintain a long time.
Kindness is a virtue, but excessive kindness can be seen as weakness. We often try our best to be kind and tolerant when we help others, but we neglect to protect ourselves.
Just like the plot in the TV series "County Party Committee Compound", Xiao Junxue, a cadre stationed in the village, selflessly helped Liu Xi, a poor household in the village, but Liu Xi did not know how to be grateful, but used the comments of the cadre score sheet to threaten Xiao Junxue.
It wasn't until Xiao Junxue died unexpectedly that Liu Xi began to make a living on his own and understood the importance of money. In life, we encounter similar situations.
You help a colleague make a project proposal, and accidentally make a mistake, but he shirks all the responsibilities to you in front of the leader. A friend asked you to borrow 20,000 yuan, but you were shy in your pocket, so you could only lend her 10,000 yuan, but she blocked you and told mutual friends everywhere that you were stingy.
The neighbor rubbed your car to commute to work, not only did he not pay for gas, but also scolded you for delaying his attendance and clocking in when you asked for leave. In fact, there is nothing wrong with kindness, but it cannot be without a bottom line.
Kindness must be sharp, otherwise it is equal to zero. We must learn to protect our bottom line and guard goodness with a sharp blade. When dealing with others, leaving eight points of kindness and revealing two points of sharpness is the true way of doing good.
The Art of Communication: Eight Points of Affirmation + Two Points of Denial In life, how do we grasp the balance when we interact with others? The experience of blogger @starfish may give us some inspiration.
Once, a friend asked her to go shopping, but she politely declined because she was busy with the graduate school entrance examination. However, the friend responded in a sarcastic way, saying that she would even miscalculate the money when she bought things, and she still wanted to go to graduate school.
Although she was uncomfortable, she smiled and said she wanted to try. Unexpectedly, during the dinner, a friend actually said in front of everyone that she had a low IQ and would definitely not succeed in the graduate school entrance examination. When she heard this, she was very angry, directly refuted her friend, and left the table.
After that, she never associated with this friend again. Sometimes, we may not feel like the way we talk is violent, but in reality language does cause pain for ourselves and others.
That's why we need to understand the truth of eight points of affirmation and two points of negation. When you're sarcastically ridiculed by a friend, don't talk back, this will only make the situation worse.
Conversely, when a friend compliments you, you can give you a compliment, which is social. No matter how good the relationship is, don't let the friendship break down by hurting others. Remember, keeping your distance is the best way to socialize.
When talking, we also need to listen and speak, so that we can better understand each other and build deep feelings. When getting along with friends, eight points are close and two points are far away, so as to transcend the joy at first sight and go to a long-term relationship.
When dealing with others, eight points of kindness, two points of sharpness, your kindness can not be underestimated. When interacting with people, eight points of affirmation and two points of negation, so that harmony and difference can be maintained.