He said, "I am not great, but I seek greatness." “
A child who lost his father and family support at the age of four, on the way to growth, with unyielding will, fought against all kinds of difficulties, swayed his talents to the fullest, and became an immortal "superman" and "great man" in the field of thought and philosophy.
But at the same time, the indelible labels of "weirdo" and "madman" on his body make the world lament his end and the hardships he endured.
"It's one thing for me personally, it's another thing for my writing," he said. ”
As an individual, he has a cautious, organized, and upright "little priest" demeanor;
As a thinker, he has a boiling soul that is constantly skeptical, constantly confronting, constantly exploring, and never complacent;
He is strong on one side and vulnerable on the other;What is strong is his mind and will, and what is weak is his body and sickness.
He is a great "contradictory body" and "**body", and he ** himself ** as an "individual" and "thought".
Now we try to understand the fragment of Nietzsche's coming-of-age and trace the origin of this immortal thought.
1. The most vulnerable thing for a person is his powerlessness to his original family
Nietzsche was born into a family of pastors in the village of Loken, a suburb of Leipzig, Germany. His father, grandfather, great-grandfather, maternal grandfather, and great-grandfather were all devout members of the religion. Influenced by his family, Nietzsche's childhood career dream was to follow his father's beliefs and become a priest.
According to Nietzsche's grandmother, Nietzsche's distant ancestor was named Nizik, lived in Poland, was a nobleman with the title of count, and was also a member of the Catholic Church. Family members were expelled for rebelling against religion and forced to wander.
After several generations of tempering, Nietzsche's father's generation finally ushered in the "colorful sky". His character and talents were praised by his superiors, and as a tutor to the four princesses, the king of Prussia paid close attention to him, and successfully passed his application for a position in a rural parish, which laid the foundation for Nietzsche's birthplace, Loken.
If everything goes well, if Nietzsche can grow up under the guidance of his father, perhaps, Nietzsche's personality and life will have another turn?
But the most fragile thing about a person is the powerlessness of the original family when growing up.
Nietzsche's father died when he was 4 years old, suffering from headaches and neurotic ailments exacerbated by a fall. Since then, Nietzsche's family members have only female relatives besides him, including his grandmother, mother, two aunts, and younger sister.
As the only boy in the family, Nietzsche was cared for in every way.
Nietzsche, who grew up in this family atmosphere, formed a gentle temperament. This temperament made it difficult for him to adapt to the various complicated living environments he encountered later, which laid the groundwork for his physical and psychological illness.
But as a descendant of the Polish "Count of Nizik", something in Nietzsche's nature gradually revealed itself as he grew up, including rigor, pride, imperiousness and brutality, and of course his ** talent, his talent for mastering language and articulating his thoughts clearly.
On the one hand, it is a soft temperament, and on the other hand, it is a hard nature; On the one hand, it is a rigorous style, and on the other hand, it is a violent and boiling thought; On the one hand, there is a poor environment, and on the other hand, there is a lot of talent.
Contradictions, dilemmas, confrontations, and choices accompanied Nietzsche throughout his life.
Second, the five "decades".
One of Nietzsche's most famous events is the proclamation that "God is dead."
In 1882, in The Knowledge of Pleasure, Nietzsche uttered this manifesto through the mouth of a madman, calling it one of the most important events in human history.
In that religious era, Western human beings have always relied on God for their meaning of existence and morality. Including Nietzsche's family, they were all devout defenders and preachers of religion. Nietzsche's childhood career dream was also to follow his father's beliefs and become a pastor.
As a devout religious believer, Nietzsche completely broke his beliefs, re-established a new ideological system, and became a brave pioneer.
But it's easy to destroy the old, but it's hard to create a new belief system.
Even if he is talented, the formation of Nietzsche's ideological system did not happen overnight. In his life experience, it can be summarized as five "ten years" and one four-year college time.
The missing part of childhood will be filled with a lifetime
Nietzsche once fantasized about having a "privilege" for a long time, saying, "I think it is a privilege for me to have such a father." With a little patience and without special care, one can enter a nobler and more beautiful world without oneself. ”
The expected "colorful sky" dissipated instantly, and the family ushered in a storm.
Having lost his father and brother in quick succession, Nietzsche left his sad birthplace with his mother and sister and moved to a small town near Naumburg am Saale, where neighboring relatives could take care of each other. Indeed, in everyone's mutual interactions, the poor family gradually came out of their sorrow.
Without the privilege of his father, the legend of that distant Polish count's family became the habitat of the young Nietzsche's spirit. He used every opportunity to publicize and show off.
He said to his sister, "A Nizik count would never lie. ”
At the age of nine, Nietzsche was already gifted, and like his father, he liked to play the organ and improvise. Nietzsche began to compose, composing rhapsodies and many mazurkas and declaring them to be dedicated to his great Polish ancestors.
Even in the next thirty or forty years, the legend of Polish ancestry remained one of the driving forces of Nietzsche's passion and desire in his work.
He introduced that ancient story into his own life, impressing the qualities and style of the Polish ancestors he told, and imitating them from time to time.
He tried to inherit those things with his deeds.
An anecdote in 1858 was another amazing move in Nietzsche's upbringing, in addition to his outstanding talent.
Thirteen or fourteen-year-olds in boarding schools gathered around a charcoal fire to discuss the truth of the story about Mucius, and everyone thought that "no one would have the courage to put his hand in the fire" and concluded that the story would not be true.
As the teenagers were spitting, the silent Nietzsche reached out and grabbed a piece of burning charcoal from the furnace and put it in the palm of his hand. As you can imagine, this burning scar followed Nietzsche for the rest of his life. In order to keep this glorious scar as good as new, Nietzsche even ran melted wax through the scar to make the scar more visible.
The Roman hero's declaration that "only the coward cares for his flesh" resonated with the young Nietzsche.
The missing part of childhood takes a lifetime to fill up.
The more a person lacks something, the more he cares. Even excellence such as Nietzsche is no exception.
It's part of human nature, and there's no way to avoid it.
During the development of adolescent character, the lack of the support of his father's strength should be the source of Nietzsche's mental imbalance after that.
Talented, hard work, always ahead of the times
Although lacking his father's guidance, Nietzsche inherited his father's gifts and talents perfectly, and it was soon revealed.
At the age of 13, he spent 12 days composing his childhood history.
Not long after entering middle school, because his IQ was so outstanding, that the middle school teacher repeatedly suggested to Nietzsche's mother that Nietzsche should be sent to a higher quality school.
At the end of his memoirs, the 13-year-old Nietzsche concludes: "At this moment, I have ended my notes just right, and I am satisfied with my past work." As I write, my heart is filled with great joy and I don't get tired at all. I think it's interesting to look back on the milestones of my early life and the trajectory of my soul. I have recorded all the facts truthfully, without poetry or embellishment, and restored life as it is. Hopefully I'll have more things like this in the future. Life is like a mirror, the first thing is to know yourself, and you must work hard to seek. “
From this time on, whether it is the family, or the teachers and classmates around him, the entire surrounding environment cannot catch up with the pace of Nietzsche's "search".
Nietzsche's mother, the mother who loved her son in every way, was naturally reluctant to let her son leave her, and she rejected the teacher's advice. But no matter how warm the life is, it can't stop Nietzsche's heart from wanting to break through and ask for it.
Five miles away from his hometown, Pulta High School, a high school that has produced many outstanding people, has become a place of yearning for the young Nietzsche.
But this longing lasted only a few months, and soon after Nietzsche entered the secondary school on a scholarship, his anguish and sadness came along with boredom and dissatisfaction.
The first reason is that the school's rules and precepts often impose rough constraints on students, which makes Nietzsche, who lives in a warm family environment, very uncomfortable and unbearable.
Another reason is that he doesn't like to have fun and is often a maverick.
In order to combat this boredom and dissatisfaction, he began to keep a detailed diary, recording the distribution of each day and period of time and his mood changes in detail;
At the same time, he set out on his own extensive study program, which included religion, geology, botany, astronomy, Latin readings, Greek, Hebrew, military science, and various technical subjects.
In the course of tireless study, Nietzsche was 17 years old. By this time, he had studied the vast system of Romanticism, as well as the gloomy, chaotic, and cold scientific system, and he was completely immersed in his vast reading horizon.
After extensive reading, the daily lessons and schoolwork were far from satisfying his knowledge, and he finally began to get tired of everything in school. But the more he reads, the more he enriches his horizons, it also terrifies him
1) With new understandings and ideas, but unable to let go of the old religious beliefs, because of the family respect included, Nietzsche, who was in contradiction and pressure, put himself in deep pain.
2) After all, he is only 17 years old, a young man who has not dried up, and his life experience has just begun. Even if the huge learning system and the genius thinking ability have made a preliminary judgment of his thoughts and understanding, they are only the prototype of his thoughts, and they are unproven fantasies;
On the one hand, there is an ideological system that has been demonstrated and respected for 2,000 years; On the one hand, there is his unsubstantiated and embryonic ideological fantasy, and the world's opinion is that even the young Nietzsche himself is often in contradiction.
Under multiple contradictions and pressures, Nietzsche used literary creation to express his emotions, just like using ** to create.
He perfectly presented the mental mileage of this time, with his talent for expression-
There is no guide, no guide, in a sea full of questions, most young minds can only face the end of being lost or crazy, adventurers are crushed by the storm, and no one can discover the ...... of the new world after the stormThe whole of our philosophy was presented to me like a mysterious Babita......It does not guide the public, but only interferes with the thinking of the public. But when the public discovers that the entire ** religion is based on falsehood, a huge change will come all over the world. God's reality, eternal life, the authority of Scripture, and revelation are forever mysterious. I tried to deny it all, but, alas! It is extremely easy to destroy, but it is very difficult to create a new faith. ”
Nietzsche insisted on writing regularly, one after another, to develop and enhance his already remarkable talent for mastering language and articulating ideas.
How to break the whirlpool of contradictions and dilemmas?
Contradictions exist, and predicaments are continuous, because there are constant thoughts and constant pursuits, and ...... are constantly pursued
So how to break the whirlpool brought about by contradictions and dilemmas?
Only a deeper effort to explore - this is the only path that Nietzsche is willing to take.
We are often weak when we should face our fate, surrendering to God's will or submitting to humility, which is not faith, but an excuse for cowardice and cowardice. ”
Whether it is a mental dilemma or a physical dilemma, Nietzsche never has an excuse and will not show weakness.
Nietzsche continued to diligently expand his reading horizons, and he loved the writings of Schiller, Byron, and Hölderlin. With the ideological encounters and collisions of these geniuses, the exploration of Nietzsche's thought has made some progress.
As a result of excessive diligence, Nietzsche suffered from severe headaches and eye ailments in the spring of 1862; Nietzsche bought himself a two-month vacation to recuperate.
After recuperation, he continued to read and write, sending poems, songs, dance music, reviews, and philosophies to two friends in Naumburg every month. These creations did not delay his studies, but allowed him to learn ancient languages and literature under the guidance of some excellent teachers.
In fact, in addition to the differences in thinking, Nietzsche's life experience can be said to have matured at this time.
In order to seek, he is not afraid of physical pain, he is not afraid of the pressure of the environment;
Because of his ambition, he endured the loneliness of Qu Gao and widowhood, and also enjoyed the "wild imagination" of self-progress.
The more he moves forward, the greater the gap between Shiren and him.
Nietzsche couldn't wait to enter the University of Bonn.
The infinite longing of entering the university was shattered by the realistic learning atmosphere, and soon Nietzsche felt bored. As in many previous states, after a short period of novelty and pleasure, dissatisfaction and boredom always accompany each other for a long time.
Nietzsche has "transcendence" embedded in his bones, and he is always concerned about whether he has transcended time and himself. He didn't want to waste his time.
In Bonn, a university where clubs were the unit of study, Nietzsche had to make the difficult decision to cut ties with his classmates because of their boorishness and long-indulgent lifestyle.
Given the circumstances in which he lived, the cautious Nietzsche made some efforts – he called on his classmates to ban or reduce smoking and drinking. But his suggestion was rejected, and he was snubbed and isolated by his classmates. Eventually, Nietzsche was invited out of the association, he lost all friendship and affection, and he was finally alone.
Life at the University of Bonn became painful and difficult. He studied linguistics assiduously in order to exercise his mind and correct some confusion in his continuous study. He locked himself in his room and studied art history, studying Beethoven's life experiences.
The pain continues.
As a result, this university, with its glorious history and glory, failed to retain Nietzsche. He stayed here for only one semester before following his teacher to another well-known university, the University of Leipzig.
A new environment means new opportunities.
For Nietzsche, Leipzig was his blessed land. Because here he encountered a great event that saved his mind and heart.
Continued).