Text: 360-degree psychology understands love and understands you better.
Hello teacher:
I'm your reader, listen to my story.
A month after the birth of my son, my husband and I wanted to be free, and my mother-in-law, whom I treated sincerely, wanted to share my family's down payment house, and in these 12 years, my marriage that began with love has lost its breath in conflicts and quarrels.
I started in February 2019, fitness, ** decided to change myself, I lost 40 pounds in 6 months, which is really comparable to plastic surgery. At this time, I no longer only pay attention to my husband, and I gradually get used to his irresponsibility and crazy playfulness without regard for the family. After that, I got a gym card, went to the gym, and went back and forth to have a crush on my personal trainer, a beautiful boy who was 11 years younger than me.
At first I didn't know why I wanted to pay attention to him, but I thought about him from time to time, and then it developed to the point where I bought him food and clothing, and we were both very confused at first, after all, the difference was 11 years old, I really didn't look old, and people said I was 20-24 years old when we stood together. There are no wrinkles, in fact, I am 35 this year. He is indifferent, he doesn't take the initiative to do anything, and he doesn't want to think about it, and one day after 2 months, I think my love is coming to an end, he grabbed me and kissed me, in fact, we both understand the original heartbeat.
After the kiss, the relationship broke up, but then he was lukewarm and estranged from me, and finally I knew that he didn't want to be a junior, but he also liked me. He's struggling. We inhibited each other and wanted to let go, but we couldn't let go, we had sex during the National Day in October, he didn't use contraception, and I bought emergency contraception myself afterwards.
During this period, I spent nearly 20,000 yuan on him, clothes, food, red envelopes, etc. He only bought me a lipstick. He said that he couldn't stay with me for too long, he wanted to go back to his hometown to get married, even if he didn't love him, he had to get married, for his parents, he usually wouldn't say sweet words, and he wouldn't coax me, or take the initiative to ask me out, always take a break from work, whenever I think about him and want to ask him out for dinner, just see him for a while, if he falls asleep, he doesn't want to wake up again.
I asked him if he cared if I missed me? Like me? He said he liked it. He said that it was all women chasing him before, and he was good enough for me, almost to the limit.
But I really didn't feel good, but I felt that he didn't care, I felt that I paid more than him, and his so-called good to me was that he never sent messages to his girlfriends every day, nor would he accompany them, but for me I have done this, he feels that he has given the most among all his girlfriends.
I know that my heart has actually detached itself from the original setting, this kind of love is not what I expected, maybe it is not as good as my relationship with my husband, but I still can't end it, I like him, I don't know if I like him or his skin. I know I shouldn't be nostalgic anymore, and I don't deserve it, but I covet the feeling of being with him. I couldn't make up my mind to end it.
My reply: I don't know if this is the first few dozen stories I've received of having an affair with a fitness trainer. I also joked in a previous article that I decided to go to the gym in order to take a field exam. I really went, I was in the gym all October, and I didn't go to the gym. I understand why I have so much to do with a fitness trainer because there is really a lot of physical contact.
Generally, many women who go to the gym are either emotionally frustrated, or they can't get warmth in their marriage, or they want to defend themselves by exercising sexually. Or in their own limited circle, there are very few people of the opposite sex who can be contacted.
In a relatively special place like the gym, your body is often touched by a person of the opposite sex, and the coach is in good shape, able to teach, and generally has a gentle personality, so in that environment, it is easy to have a good impression of this person, or rely on it.
As more and more students come into contact, the coach has also learned to judge which women can further develop their relationships and which ones may really come over to exercise. In terms of probability, it is a high probability that there is a relationship with a fitness trainer. So to avoid these things happening, either you raise your own threshold for emotion, you feel that it is just physical communication, lack of spiritual communication, you are very difficult to be emotional to a person.
Either you have a good marriage or love to resist, because you know who you love, it is easy to resist the outside **, or you are really purely exercising, and you don't accept the sexual hints they throw, which can naturally make you exercise more at ease in the gym.
This fitness coach, don't look 11 years younger than you, it is obvious that he knows, what you women need, you look at his statement, women used to be super good to him, chasing him, and he didn't pay anything, he has his own work convenience, and many people chase him. But the relationship with the fitness coach, you know, why are you still greedy? Because you don't have a good outlet yourself.
At the beginning, you said, how is the man in this family, you have completely died, and then there is no extramarital lover, just such a coach, which has become your sexual and emotional sustenance, you know that he is not good for you, but you will still be like that and you can't get rid of it, so greed will still make you uncomfortable. If you're really strong, of course you can sleep, push down, it's a big deal to be a sexual partner, but you're greedy.
This man won't pay a lot, you are just one more object in his coaching career, the life of an old driver, maybe he will meet a female student who is better for him in the future, anyway, there is never a shortage of this kind of story in the fitness coach. You always wonder if you're a special case, and you're not.
You're just a guest on his side. Because this kind of harmless young male, with muscles, good looks, and environment, really has a lot of opportunities.
About author:360-degree view of psychology, psychological supervisor, counselor, psychology lecturer, gender relationship research scholar, emotional writer, deeply engaged in the field of psychology for more than 20 years, focusing on the improvement of women's wisdom, gender cognitive cultivation and intimate relationship building, to improve the modern man and woman's sense of belief and cooperation in love and marriage for the concept, based on improving the quality of marriage between Chinese men and women, is committed to making China's marriage and family relationship more stable, so that the modern society can be more healthy and long-term development.