In life, I often meet friends around me who tell me about their unhappiness, and the information they get from their friends can be summed up as a problem, that is, they are too anxious.
The author is the same, when I reach the age of knowing the destiny of heaven, I will have all kinds of worries every day, I will worry about the future, I will worry about the present, I will worry about the unknown, I will also worry about the variables around me, etc., these too many worries and worries bring me a lot of trouble, and I can't make myself happy.
I believe that many friends will be like me, with the same status quo and all kinds of anxieties. But why are we anxious? What is the anxiety about? I believe that many people have not studied it, or have not thought about it carefully.
After communicating and observing with the people around me, the author summarized the following five types of anxiety based on the anxiety situations he encountered:
1. We are accustomed to arranging our time too much, thinking about what to do every day, and having self-supervision of these things, so that the time becomes very tight, and we feel uneasy when we are not done.
2. We are accustomed to positioning ourselves in unreasonable positions. Comparing the heights achieved by others with zero foundation is itself a wrong benchmark.
3. We can't control ourselves to make too many choices, and we waver in the process of choosing, always feeling that everything is good, everything is important, and we can't calm down to do what is really important.
4. In life, we have to face a lot of external environmental constraints, such as the influence of family and work, and we can't do what we want to do, but spend a lot of time doing what we don't want to do, which makes many people crazy.
5. When we encounter difficult things, we choose to wander, escape in the face of the core difficulties, and can't make up our minds to solve this difficulty, the longer we linger, the more anxious we are.
Dear friends, are the anxieties we encounter basically the above situations? So why do we encounter these anxieties, and what is the root of these anxieties?
In fact, these anxieties are not complicated, and the causes are very simple, and they can be roughly divided into two types:
1. I want to do a lot of things at the same time, and I can see the effect of these things immediately;
2. The heart is too anxious, the refuge is easy, and they all want to pay easily to get the desired results;
To put it simply, our anxiety is too much because we want, our desires are too strong, and when there is a gap between our desires and reality, anxiety will arise. As the gap grows, so does the anxiety.
So what do we do when we experience anxiety? The author suggests that the following methods can be used to try to change.
1. Restrain your desires, desire is a wild horse, if you don't tame it, you can only let it run at will. In real life, don't allow yourself to do a lot of things at the same time.
2. In the face of the current reality, fully see your ability, ability is needed time and energy to improve, when you do not pay sweat, want to climb to the sky in one step, it can be said to be a fool's dream.
3. When there are many things that need to be solved, we must distinguish the importance of the things, arrange the most important, second most important, and most important things, and distinguish which ones can be solved slowly. Spend 80% of your energy on important things and the remaining 20% on things that aren't particularly important. This is where the 28 theorem comes into play.
4. Accept the surrounding environment and do what you can do in the environment where you live and work.
5. Face difficulties, as the saying goes, solve one thing when you encounter it, and everything is less. If you can't avoid solving difficult things, then more and more things will accumulate. When you encounter difficulties, you must force yourself ruthlessly, face them bravely, and think of solutions.
There are thousands of anxieties in life, but in the final analysis, it is our inner desires that are too many and too big. Dealing with your inner desires is the cure for anxiety. Why are Confucianism, Buddhism, and Taoism all emphasizing personal practice, and practice is the cultivation of the mind. If you can make yourself feel at peace and calm, your anxiety will disappear naturally.