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As the Spring Festival gets closer and closer, every household is immersed in the joy and excitement of this traditional festival.
However, for many single youths, returning home for the Spring Festival may mean facing rounds of "marriage urging offensives".
The elderly, with their concern and expectation for their children's marriage, often become particularly anxious at this time.
They always hope that their children can start a family as soon as possible and continue the family's incense.
The smell of the New Year in my hometown is getting stronger and stronger, and my relatives are busy cleaning, pasting Spring Festival couplets, and preparing New Year's goods.
However, there is one thing that is equally lively in many families, and that is "urging marriage".
No, my little niece Ah Fang, who is 30 years old this year, happens to be the "** leftover girl" in the family.
She works in a foreign company and has a successful career, but as soon as she comes home, her ears are full of nagging from relatives: "Look at Chen Xue, who is two years younger than you, and now the children can play soy sauce." ”
As an elderly person in the family, I sometimes wonder if I should urge my children to get married.
But every time the thought flashed through me, I told myself to be careful. How can a marriage be a child's play?
01 Is it the responsibility of the elderly that the children do not get married?
Marriage is a personal matter, and everyone has their own fate and timing.
Young people nowadays, how stressful! House, car, savings, what is not a heavy burden?
They have their own plans and plans, what are we old men and old ladies all about?
Today's young people have a wide range of horizons and knowledge, and their views on marriage are different from those of our time.
They value affection and fit more than getting married just for the sake of getting married.
If you are truly good for your children, you should support them and give them enough time and space to find their own happiness.
02 Is it good to arrange a blind date and urge the progress of marriage for the sake of the children?
One of my distant nephews, Chen Gang, is 28 years old and is also single.
His parents were as anxious as ants on a hot pot, and they asked people to introduce him to someone.
During the Spring Festival last year, they arranged no less than five blind dates.
Xiao Gang coped with it on the surface, but complained to me behind the scenes: "Uncle, you said that I go through the interview process every day, can I meet a real person?" ”
I listened, and my heart was mixed. yes, is it really for the sake of the kids? I'm afraid not.
If you make a blind date too deliberately, it will be like chasing ducks to the shelves, not only the children will be tired, but the girls will also be uncomfortable.
Marriage is a lifelong affair, and it cannot be rushed, let alone compromised.
and Lin Qiang, the son of Aunt Li, a neighbor, is thirty-one years old and has a successful career, but his love life is blank.
Every time relatives and friends get together, the topic is always inseparable from Lin Qiang's marriage.
Aunt Li was anxious, always feeling that she had not done a good job of "task", and she was worried that her son would be alone and no one would take care of her in the future.
So, she began to go on blind dates everywhere, and even did not hesitate to use her old face to ask someone to introduce her.
Lin Qiang didn't buy it. He felt that his mother's urging to marry made him feel a lot of pressure, and he hoped to find a partner who was really suitable for him, rather than just marrying for the sake of getting married.
Lin Qiang's ideas represent the voices of many modern youth.
They crave free love and want their love life to develop naturally and not be swayed by the expectations of their families.
03 The elderly care more and give less pressure, and good things will come naturally
Traditionally, marriage and having children are seen as a necessary stage of life, and elders often regard this as their own responsibility and obligation.
In real life, it is common to hear some stories of urging marriage.
In order to let their children get married as soon as possible, some elderly people do not hesitate to spend a lot of money and effort to arrange blind dates for them and urge them to get married.
However, such an approach is often counterproductive.
Children can feel deprived of their choices and wills, which can lead to rebellion and resistance.
I think that as an elderly person in the family, you can care about the marriage of your children, but you must not interfere too much.
We can share some positive experiences and stories about marriage so that children can understand the importance and beauty of marriage.
Advice can be offered, experiences can be shared, and even help with spotting the right people, but the final decision must be in the hands of the children.
Approaching the Spring Festival, let's be less nagging and more understanding.
Let the children feel the warmth of home, not the pressure, in this holiday that should be happy and peaceful.
As for urging marriage, you might as well change the way, such as chatting about their work life, understanding their interests and hobbies, having the right person to help thread the needle, and leaving the rest to the children themselves.
Good things will naturally come, don't rush.
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When you are old, don't make trouble for your children, do these things well, and it will be too late for your children to respect them.
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