New Year's Memories Returning to their hometown during the Spring Festival, the days are relaxed and comfortable, not as unpleasant as they expected before going home, and there are no special surprises, in general, just like any person who is wandering away and has almost no hometown imprint has almost completely faded, this is already the best appearance of returning to his hometown for the New Year. Record one or two miscellaneous conversations. 01 Hometown: "Hometown" and "home" do not have a strong attraction and a distinct sense of belonging to me, on the contrary, they are actually very strange to me and do not have much connection. It may be that the economic conditions are backward when I was a child, the dilapidated and cramped mud house where I live, the scarcity of materials at home every time I go back to my hometown, and the unconscious conversations that my relatives will not express, etc., make me almost never experience the feeling of returning to my heart. Of course, the most important thing may be that my younger brother married early, which made me lose the feeling of having my own home early. Now I can already understand that I have more family members, not the only home I have, and my innate fear of survival makes me extremely weak and unable to have the energy to reverse my beliefs and see the truth.
For many people, the local voice is the most beautiful and intimate sound. And for me, the vernacular makes me feel embarrassed, disgusted, and even disgusted. As an adult, I hardly speak my native dialect anymore, except in front of my family and relatives. Occasionally, on the train back to my hometown, or on the subway in Beijing, I feel embarrassed and goosebumps fall to the ground when I hear my fellow countrymen with familiar accents speaking half-ocean and half-native Mandarin.
03 Boundary. One of the obvious feelings of returning to my hometown this time is that my sense of boundaries has become stronger, to be precise, it is established and stable. Last night, before going to bed, my dad asked me if I could sleep and how I was resting, and I realized that I didn't feel well and didn't want to talk about it, so I simply said yes and walked away.
Another similar episode is that a psychological counselor friend I have been in close contact with for 22 years, and I have neglected contact for 23 years, and I sent New Year's greetings to my friends this morning, I remembered that she played a more important role in my life growth the year before last, and gave me a lot of care and help, so I sent her a brief New Year blessing and greetings.
Her reply was "Thank you honey, are you married".
My first impression after receiving it was very surprised, even a little angry. But in an instant, I became aware of the mental activity behind me, reversed it, and then calmly replied without emotion, "No, does the teacher have a relationship plan for the new year?" She replied, "Whatever happens."
The first episode of my feelings: Although you are my own father, I know you really care about whether I can sleep or not, but have you really done anything or are you ready to do anything for me to sleep well? All I know is that if my answer is that I can't sleep well and have insomnia, then you'll say let me take some medicine, take medicine and take medicine, that's all. They didn't really care about how I felt, or to observe my state. So, this sentence has no other purpose than to expose my scars.
The second episode is my feelings: Are we so acquainted, or are we psychologists, come up and ask me this kind of question, is it appropriate? Does it have anything to do with you? Is there a sense of boundaries? Do you really care if I'm married or not, or just out of curiosity, or is there only one question left for older single women to care about during the Chinese New Year? It can be seen that a cultivator who has experienced divorce after having children in an older flash marriage and is constantly walking on the path of life growth, the marriage and love issues of other older unmarried young women are still the primary concern in the eyes of the contemporary people represented by her.
Of course, through this incident, I also have a few insights.
I tend not to talk about it when others can't help me in any way or have constructive advice but consciously or unconsciously ask me a more personal question. And although this situation makes me feel uncomfortable, although I have not been more tactful and flexible in coping and reacting, it obviously does not affect my emotional and energy state. I felt that my inner and outer circles were gradually becoming clearer, stronger, and more determined.
My dad is just a simple and ordinary farmer, he doesn't have such delicate emotions and expressions, I have my demands to be cared for, cared for and respected, he also needs to express his simple care and greetings, I saw the demands of both sides, learned to reverse beliefs, so I also got and lost. Most importantly, I can clearly see that my own wounds are healing.
The counselor is first and foremost a human being, and I saw that in essence, she was actually asking me questions on behalf of this society, and she was a microcosm of society. On the other hand, what I have shown them is that they are scarred and waiting to be married. If it weren't for the fact that I had repeatedly expressed this problem, which caused me a lot of distress and made me feel at peace, how could others care so much about whether I was married or not?