Once, when I asked about my own health, I realized for the first time that China is so big, the world is so big, and health issues have become something we must pay attention to, and we have to pay attention to it, because all the answers we are looking for are a kind of reassurance, which can only be secretly known from the Internet. But we don't necessarily know the answer, or even that it's just a way to deceive ourselves.
As we searched for answers, it became clear to me that mental illness had become a particularly unspeakable problem of order. In this era, we are not short of food and clothing, but more or less everyone has a little inferiority complex and a little psychological problem. I hadn't learned about the industry before, or I just knew that a lot of people had a problem, but it didn't seem to be a big problem. Yes, for example, I can still write now, but next time, I will fall into the cage of emotions again. I haven't written for a long time, and I use the computer to dig out the pain in my heart, and turn it into language again and again, and suddenly I become the one who can't write well or say well, but I try my best to leave something for the world, I look at the starry sky at night, maybe there is no starry sky yet, and I always feel that maybe we will finally meet at the next entrance.
What entrance? I don't know, it's fate.
So for the first time, I tasted my powerlessness, and I could continue to control my emotions and moods, but I would still be afraid. The doctors told me that everything would be fine, but I didn't believe them. I should believe in myself, like the doctors all over the Internet, who claim to be doctors or whatever, and the high fees are jaw-dropping. I looked for their charging standards, dozens before, then hundreds, they are doctors, yes, but this platform on the Internet, just a text is unreasonable, so doctors are also people, and they also have to make money. Nowadays, Chinese medicine is really impure, and now the consultation is all over the place, and it is still difficult to distinguish clearly. Again, it's just a reminder that if you have a problem, go to a public doctor, or you can only trust yourself.
Of course, I want the world to be free of diseases, of course I want medicine to flourish, and of course I want everyone to be safe. I don't seem to have been to a big city, the big city has convenient transportation, in a crowded place, I have never been to a big hospital, I am so familiar with the hospital, but I don't know its true face. That time I was really nervous, so nervous that when people were grabbing medicine, my eyes stayed on the bodies of these people, I was so scared, I was holding the medicine list in a dementia, I didn't know where I was going? Where are you going to queue up and what are you going to do? I tried to go up and ask, my Mandarin is not standard, I really don't bother to ask, but people say to the back row, I don't see that they are in the back row, but then there is a long line, I can only be in the back. Different from small local hospitals, the people who come here are diseases that cannot be cured, and if there are places where good doctors can be cured in small places, why did we choose here? Why am I standing here, so my brain suddenly struck, and with that sentence, I won't come to the hospital in my life, it's really not a good place.
Later, I had another sentence, I don't want to drink Chinese medicine, it's too bitter.
In this way, I see those who are engaged in psychological counseling, and I am very emotional.
Depression, bipolar communicative affective disorder, one-way depression, psychiatric disorders, .........
Illness plagues the heart, maybe it's a student, maybe it's a working person, maybe it's an old person.
We haven't learned to let go, we haven't learned how to deal with fate.
Fighting against fate is a strong embodiment of fighting disease. Being at peace with what happens is another way to live in harmony with fate. Let go of really important, not very good relationships, people you don't want to meet, relatives you don't want to go, unwanted desires, unwanted comparisons, lots and lots of them, patiently read some books, write some bad words, or look at their stories, your heart is drooling, and in the end you are still troubled by your heart and hurt by others.
Can anyone tell me that you will subconsciously look up at the sky?
How many times have we been affected by stress to forget that we live in nature, we are also animals in nature, we need to breathe, we need to run, we need to relax, we need a lot of stops to feel the beautiful moments in the world, why are we all working hard, we have no interest in being our true selves, the posture and action of letting go of a person to run, the kind of world where I look at the stars in a daze, we are busy surviving, but we forget to see the world, we are busy fighting against fate, forgetting to be at peace with what happens. Life is always like that, it never stops, but life stops.
During this time, it doesn't matter if you fight against fate, you don't want to be at peace with what happens, it seems that many times when you give up on yourself, I will remember that I haven't finished writing a complete **, hahaha, when I think of this, I cry bitterly, I haven't done something worthy of my pride, I'm still thinking about whether to do it, whether to do it. I can't do such a difficult task with my current body, so I'm a failure!
The other day, a poet remained in his own world. In his real world, he's an excellent master, I'm nothing. He has written poems and won awards, but he can't see through the world. What we want is always a good quality of life, which is never wrong, making money is much more important than having a degree and liking. But it's more important to spend your life the way you like and don't care about other people's opinions.
It's my business, it's your business.
Therefore, writing poetry is written by people who love to write, and people who are fragile and not difficult still hope that they will work seriously.
Even in a materialistic world where we are insignificant, we can say to ourselves that I have lived a clean and free life, that I have not spent all my thoughts on calculations, that I have not wasted my life.
Hopefully time will give me a better ending.
Maybe there will be an end to life, maybe everyone's life has their own choices, but looking back, the light boat has passed the ten thousand mountains, everyone's life is worth carefully recalling, it is not wrong to die safely, and there is nothing wrong with fate.
If life is deceived, if I deceive myself, I still believe in that forever!