Emotional intelligence is one of the most important power skills that every professional needs.
People with high emotional intelligence understand their strengths and weaknesses, are open to feedback and collaboration, and are able to build rapport with others (= making connections).
What they don't do is use the following 7 phrases.
1.You're always you're never.
For example: "You always message me after hours" or "No matter what I do, you are never satisfied with my work".
Is there anything wrong with this statement?People with high emotional intelligence don't point fingers when pointing out problems. They focus on solving problems and motivating people to improve, rather than launching personal attacks.
Instead, you can say:
I feel like my work is not up to your expectations. Can you tell me what you would like me to change so that we think the same way?”
2.Why are you so ......?
For example: "Why are you so uncooperative?".”
Far from alleviating the problem, the problem has provoked a more negative reaction.
It sounds as if you're blaming this person for a certain way of acting. This guarantees that they are on the defensive.
Instead, you can say:
Help me understand your point of view. Or "Why do you feel this way about my proposal?"”
The idea is to get people to share their views without judgment so you guys can come to a common understanding.
3.Whatever, it doesn't matter.
These often sound disrespectful. For example:
I can share these files with you if you wish.
Whatever, well, it doesn't matter.
Or. Do you want to know more about our mission?
Thanks, but it doesn't matter right now.
When used in this way, these phrases exhibit very poor empathy. What other options are there?Just don't use suggestions or offers when you're replying to them.
Use them only if you want to say that there are no wrong options or if something really isn't important.
For example: it doesn't matter when we finish this task because we don't have a strict deadline.
4.That's what I've done before.
When you explain why you're doing something a certain way by saying, "I've always done this before" – it can make you look like someone who isn't flexible and doesn't want to learn.
Instead, try to say:
Do you think there's a more effective way?I want to find out".
5.I don't have time for this.
This sentence sounds very disrespectful. It's like you're saying you're busier than everyone else, more important than them, and that's not the attitude you want to have towards a colleague or a client. It's like you're saying you're busier than everyone else, more important than them, and that's not the attitude you want to have towards a colleague or a client.
Instead, say: I can't fit it into my schedule" or just "Can you take on this task?"." I would be very grateful".
6.I'll try.
This phrase often shows a lack of commitment and motivation. Usually, it means "I want to end this conversation, not do what you want me to do".
Remember, it's okay to disagree or clarify what needs to be done, and not to evade the task by making vague promises.
For example, if your colleague says:
Can you automate this process?
You can say: I'd love to, but I don't really know how. Do you have any ideas?
7.It's impossible, it can't be done, we can't do that.
People with high emotional intelligence are never too quick to give up on ideas or possibilities because they understand the importance of cultivating an innovative and forward-thinking work culture.
Instead, they might say:
How about we put this task aside for now?Or "It's going to be challenging because our team doesn't have any experience in this area." Can you explain why we need this?I might be able to dig around and come up with a solution. ”
It's important to note that using these phrases doesn't necessarily mean that you lack emotional intelligence. At the end of the day, as long as you are able to communicate with politeness and empathy, you will continue to develop your potential and improve your emotional intelligence.