My daughter Xiaofang is 28 years old, has been married for three years, and has a son and a daughter. I have always believed that grandchildren should be the heart of my grandparents and should give them delicious food first. But Xiaofang and her husband Li Lei disagreed with me. For this, some unpleasantness happened between us.
A few days ago, we went to Xiaofang's house at noon and specially brought a box of Changsha stinky tofu and a box of brioche for our grandchildren. I said to my wife:"Lao Yang, we bought Xiaoqiang and Xiaohua's favorite snacks, they will be very happy! "
My wife smiled"Yes, wife, this stinky tofu is authentic Changsha stinky tofu, super stinky! But children love to eat this kind of smelly thing, and I think they will eat it with relish! "
I smiled and nodded, and I was already looking forward to Xiaoqiang Xiaohua eating snacks.
We knocked on the door of Xiaofang's house with our things. Xiaohua heard the sound of the door opening and greeted her:"Grandparents are here! "Then when I saw the two boxes of snacks in our hands, my eyes immediately lit up:"Wow, what's this delicious? "
I smiled and said to Xiaohua"This is a snack that your grandparents specially bought for you and Qiangqiang, quick, ask your brother Qiangqiang to eat together! "
Xiaohua happily ran to call Xiaoqiang. My wife and I also walked into the house with a smile and started beckoning them for snacks.
Xiaoqiang ran over with Xiaohua, and when he saw the stinky tofu and brioche roll, he clapped his hands with joy:"Great, my favorite snack! Thank you, grandparents! "
I hurriedly said:"Good grandson, take it and eat it, this is all bought for you by your grandparents, you can be happy. "
Xiaoqiang and Xiaohua immediately began to feast like a whirlwind. Seeing the two little guys eating with their mouths full of oil, my wife and I couldn't help laughing.
Just as we were laughing, Xiao Fang suddenly rushed over from the back room, her face was very ugly. She snatched the snacks from Xiaoqiang and Xiaohua's hands, and asked us loudly: "Mom, what are you doing here?" Didn't I say that children are not allowed to eat these unnutritious junk foods! ”
I quickly explained: "Auntie, this is just a little heart, don't be so angry." The most important thing is that your child is happy, so you don't see it and let them finish it. ”
Xiao Fang didn't listen to my explanation at all, and her face was red with anger. She threw the snacks in her hand directly into the trash, and then said to us seriously: "Mom, I don't want to worry about you, but the child's diet is very important." This kind of greasy, high-heat food can harm their body, and I, as a mother, must strictly control it. Don't bring any more of these stuff! ”
My wife and I were furious when we heard this. The wife immediately said, "Fangfang, why are you so unreasonable? We are your daughter and grandparents, don't we even want us to express our hearts? You're so ignorant! ”
Xiao Fang was also very angry, she raised her voice and said, "As far as you have this heart, I am not uncommon!" Don't think that you can do whatever you want when you're old, I'm the mother of the child, and I have the final say! ”
I was very sad to hear her talk to us so indifferently. I said with red eyes: "Fangfang, why are you so ruthless? We have been so good to you since we were children, why are you so unfilial to us now? ”
Xiaofang's face became even more ugly: "I didn't be filial to you? I do housework every day and take care of the elderly, isn't that filial enough? Could it be that I still have to listen to you and let the children eat junk food and grow up to be worse day by day? ”
My wife couldn't help but scold Xiaofang angrily: "Good you are an unfilial girl!" We're so good to you, you don't recognize us as grandparents now, do you? In that case, then we will not come in the future, lest we make a mistake! ”
After saying that, my wife took my hand and walked out. My heart was like a knife, and I kept crying. I didn't expect my raised daughter to do this to us now.
At this moment, Xiaofang's husband Li Lei also returned. As soon as he saw this scene, he immediately asked Xiaofang what had happened. Xiao Fang turned her head and ignored him, and ran back to the back room in a huff.
Seeing this, Li Lei could only come and ask me what was going on with my wife. I choked up and told him what had just happened, saying that Xiaofang really broke our hearts.
Li Lei smiled after hearing this, and said to us very gently: "Uncle and aunt, I understand your feelings, but as parents, we must also pay attention to the healthy growth of our children. But I'll talk to Fangfang about it, she's probably been a little stressed lately. Don't worry too much, come to our house as often as you always do. ”
I wiped away my tears, sighed and said, "Forget it, we don't want to worry about this with Xiaofang." As long as she doesn't do this to us in the future, but we won't buy this kind of junk snacks for our children in the future. ”
Li Lei nodded with a smile and said, "Okay uncle and aunt, then I'll go and communicate with Fangfang, and you can go back and rest first." ”
Although my wife and I were still very sad, we couldn't say anything more, so we could only leave Xiaofang's house angrily.
On the way home, my wife and I didn't say a word, and our faces were very ugly. I thought to myself, we are a good heart, and we want our grandchildren to taste delicious food, but Xiaofang not only got angry herself, but also categorically rejected our kindness, which is too much.
At night, I was still so angry that I couldn't sleep. I said to my wife: "Lao Yang, we are so good to Xiaofang, how can she be so ungrateful? She doesn't even take our own mom seriously anymore! ”
My wife sighed and said, "Yes, wife, maybe we were too good to her before, so we will develop the character she is now so ignorant." Why is she so unreasonable, if this is often like this in the future, wouldn't we be ugly? ”
I said indignantly, "Yes! If you want me to say, let's not go to their house often, so as not to be so sad by her all the time. Even if they are grandchildren, when they grow up, if they are filial to us, they will take them to our house alone. Otherwise, with such a mother, I don't think I will learn anything good in the future! ”
My wife sighed and said, "Okay, so be it." We are old people, it is better to mix less. ”
So from that day on, my wife and I rarely took the initiative to contact Xiaofang and their family anymore. Occasionally, I would ask my two grandchildren how they were doing, and I just hung up in a hurry after a few pleasantries, no longer chatting like before.
This apathy lasted for months. One day, I was shopping alone in the supermarket and met Xiaofang. I was going to pretend I didn't see it, but I found that she was pushing a shopping cart with a lot of snacks.
I was a little surprised, and the ghost walked over, cleared my throat, and said, "Yo, Fangfang, what a coincidence." ”
When Xiao Fang saw me, her face was obviously embarrassed. She pursed her lips and said with some hesitation, "Mom, you're here to buy vegetables." ”
I nodded, then couldn't help but look at the contents of her shopping cart and asked, "Aren't these snacks not eaten by children?" ”
Xiao Fang's face turned red as soon as she "soared". She said hesitantly: "It's not that they are always not allowed to eat, but they can only eat a little." ”
I was surprised by this, and immediately asked, "What?" Didn't you say these things were harmful? Why can I let my child eat it now? Do you realize that you were wrong? ”
Xiao Fang's head lowered, and her voice became softer: "Mom, I'm sorry, it was indeed my bad attitude that day." You're right, as a grandparent, it's okay to give your child some snacks once in a while. I thought about it, but I still felt that I had overreacted at the time, and I shouldn't have quarreled with you. ”
Hearing her say this, most of the anger in my heart disappeared. I was silent for a moment, and then said, "Since you have recognized your mistake, then I will not be like you." After all, you are my own child, so I am reluctant to really cut off contact with you. As long as you don't be so domineering in the future! ”
Xiao Fang hurriedly nodded yes. I saw that her attitude had softened, and her heart felt much better.
Later, under the mediation of Li Lei, my wife and I slowly resumed our regular contact with Xiaofang's family. It's just that we all have a consensus on feeding our grandchildren, that is, we should respect each other and stop in moderation.
This incident made me understand a truth, that is, as an elder, you can't impose your own ideas on others, let alone break off the relationship for the sake of a little disagreement. I will continue to love Xiaofang and her children, but I will also learn to control the proportions.
After this incident, I gradually realized that as an elder, my own thoughts cannot be above others, which will bring unnecessary pressure to young people. I began to learn to empathize and put myself in Xiaofang's shoes.
One day, Xiaofang's family came to my house as guests. I specially prepared home-cooked food that Xiao Fang and her two grandchildren love. After lunch, Xiaoqiang and Xiaohua happily played in the yard. I watched them laugh and couldn't help but want to buy them some snacks to eat.
But on second thought, I resisted the urge. I said to Xiaofang, "Fangfang, you see how cute our grandchildren are, they are just lively little angels!" If you're tired, you can go inside and rest for a while, and I'll play with them. ”
Xiao Fang smiled and said, "Thank you, Mom, they are indeed more active now, I'll rest for a while." Then she went into the house to rest.
After a while, Xiaoqiang ran over and said, "Grandpa, I want to eat ice cream!" Xiaohua also said, "I want to eat ice cream too!" ”
I hurriedly looked into the room and whispered to them, "Good grandchildren, don't eat too much ice cream, be obedient." ”
I took out two candies from my pocket and gave them and said, "There's candy here, you can take it and eat it, don't tell your mother that you know?" ”
Xiaoqiang said happily: "Thank you, grandpa!" I love candy the most! The two siblings happily ran to eat the candy, their mouths were sweet, and their mood was beautiful.
At this time, Xiaofang came out of the house, saw the sugar stains on the children's mouths, and asked suspiciously, "What's going on?" Who gave you candy just now? ”
I quickly explained: "I gave it to them, just one candy per person, don't be angry, Fangfang." ”
Xiao Fang nodded clearly and said, "Mom, I understand your kindness, but too much sugar for children is not good for teeth." Don't give it again next time, okay? ”
I nodded hurriedly and said, "Okay, okay, I know it's wrong." Listen to you in the future, and don't give candy to your children. ”
This time, there was finally nothing unpleasant between us. I took the initiative to admit my mistake, and Xiaofang also gently put forward her own ideas, and both sides left room for each other, which did not cause greater conflicts. This made me deeply realize that when communicating with young people, we must learn to give in, and at the same time, we must understand and respect each other.
Since this candy incident, my attitude towards Xiaofang and her family has changed a lot. I am no longer obsessed with satisfying my desire to pamper my grandchildren, but I lower my body and try my best to meet Xiaofang's requirements for children's food education.
Once, our old couple was going to Xiaofang's house for dinner. I cooked a few side dishes and brought them over. When I arrived at Xiaofang's house, I was about to carry something into the door, but I saw Xiaoqiang and Xiaohua lying on the window waving to us.
I couldn't help but smile and say to them, "My good grandchildren, open the door for grandparents to come in!" ”
Xiaoqiang said happily: "Grandparents and grandparents, you are here!" Mom wouldn't let us open the door and said we would clean up the room before inviting you in! ”
I was a little surprised, and quickly looked at my wife, and found that he was also puzzled. At this time, Xiao Fang's voice came from the house: "Wait a minute, Mom and Dad, we are cleaning!" ”
It dawned on me that Xiaofang wanted to give us a warm and tidy environment, so she didn't let us in. I was moved to say to my wife: "Look at our good fragrance, how hearty! Let's just wait patiently. ”
Ten minutes later, Xiaofang finally let us into the house. I saw that the light in the room was soft, the furnishings were clean, and there were flowers on the table. I couldn't help but praise: "Oh, our Fangfang is so caring, and we cleaned up the room so beautifully, just to entertain our old couple!" ”
Xiao Fang smiled shyly and said, "It's great that you can come, cook a few of your favorite dishes in the evening." I happily clapped her hand and said, "I am so blessed to have such a virtuous daughter as you!" ”
My wife and I had a very happy meal. Xiaoqiang and Xiaohua also laughed and played with us affectionately. From this little thing, I felt Xiaofang's filial piety and thoughtfulness to us. I feel relieved and happy from the bottom of my heart.
When I got home that night, I excitedly said to my wife, "I am really touched that Fangfang and their family are so good to us today!" This shows that the relationship between us is very deep, more important than anything else! ”
My wife smiled and said, "Yes, the most valuable thing between relatives is affection." Although we have some misunderstandings with Xiaofang, we are close relatives after all. Now that we have finally resumed our relationship, I am hopeful for the future of our two families! ”
My heart welled up with great comfort and satisfaction. I will continue to love Xiaofang and my grandchildren wholeheartedly, and establish the closest family relationship with them! That's what I want most at the moment.
After this emotional bump, my wife and I became closer to Xiaofang. We are all aware of the importance of mutual understanding and care among the three generations.
Later, Xiaofang would often call ** to tell me some parenting troubles or ask about the secrets of cooking. I would tell her all the experiences I had with her in the past, and I would answer her questions carefully.
One day, Xiaofang suddenly called **, and her voice was full of anxiety: "Mom, it's like this, we plan to take our children to camp in the suburbs this weekend, but the campsite that was booked suddenly notified today that our reservation was going to be canceled temporarily." The children couldn't wait, and they didn't know what to do. ”
I hurriedly comforted her: "Fangfang, it's the same if you take them to the park downstairs to have a picnic!" When the time comes, your father and I will also go over, let's take the children together and have fun! ”
Xiaofang said happily: "Mom, your idea is so good! I'll take them to the park for a picnic on the weekends, so be sure to come by then! ”
On a weekend day, the sun is shining in the park and the wind is beautiful. My wife and I laid out picnic cloths on the lawn in advance and prepared fruit snacks. The family happily had a picnic and chatted, and the children had a lot of fun. I saw the happy smile on Xiaofang's face, and I couldn't help but sigh: "I didn't expect that a simple picnic in the park can bring so much happiness to everyone." The most important thing is that we are together as a family! ”
Xiao Fang smiled and nodded, "I was worried about the camping I booked before, but now it seems that you are right, relatives are the happiest thing to be together!" ”
My wife also smiled and said: "No matter what difficulties we encounter in the future, our family will be united and we will be able to tide over the difficulties, just like today." ”
I took my wife's hand, nodded and said, "That's right! With Xiaofang and our two lovely grandchildren together, every day is a happy one! ”
Our family had a great weekend with great joy. It made me feel that the affection and companionship between family members is the most precious thing in the world. I will always cherish Xiaofang, a good daughter, and I will do my best to have a harmonious relationship with her family and be close to my two lovely grandchildren!