In the Spring Festival of 2024, the topic of family breakage remains hot, and in rural areas, many families have left with the older generation, and peers, such as uncles and uncles, have stopped moving, and the relationship between relatives is undergoing subtle changes. Some scholars said that this is the awakening of active social awareness. But in fact, breaking off relatives, this generation is liberated, but the next generation suffers.
I went to my relatives three times during the Chinese New Year, but after three trips to my relatives, I was already tired physically and mentally, and my intestines were full of regret. A netizen named Bi Ziyao said, "There are more people from relatives' homes, but their family is arranged at the last table, and the two children have no red envelopes or a return gift." From today, it was decided never to go to relatives again. ”
Some netizens said that early in the morning of the second day of the new year, they went to the sister-in-law and uncle's house to pay New Year's greetings, and the uncle and sister-in-law had no intention of leaving them to eat at home.
Some netizens also reported that some relatives said in the family group that they didn't go to their relatives' homes this year, and they got used to it, so it saved trouble.
Go to relatives to send express delivery like a few a day, cash on delivery.
Some netizens sighed that their relatives gave out 6,000 yuan for New Year's money, and exchanged it for a room of drinks, which was really heartwarming this year.
Many people reported that after the Spring Festival, they bought cigarettes and alcohol to give red envelopes, and relatives paid New Year's greetings one by one, and the family relationship was estranged, but the red envelopes became bigger and bigger, and many people spent tens of thousands of dollars a year.
Some netizens said that she was frugal, saved 70,000 yuan a year, went back to her parents' house, invited more than 30 relatives to dinner, and her cousin lost more than 20,000 yuan while playing cards, and gave 10,000 yuan to her brother's blind date. The 70,000 yuan was all spent for the New Year.
Some netizens also lamented that when they went back to their parents' house to pay New Year's greetings to their mother in the first month of each year, it was like ushering in an economic storm. Her mother asked her to give gifts to her grandmother, uncle, aunt and other relatives, and also to give red envelopes to their children, which made her feel financially stressed.
This kind of pressure and exclamation may be very common. In fact, because of this, many large rural families gradually stop moving after the death of the older generation.
In rural areas, in the memory of childhood, it is not uncommon to go to a relative's house to pay New Year's greetings, eat at a relative's house, or even stay for several days at a time. But today, people feel that their relatives are not as close as they used to be, and it is already the norm in many places to go to relatives, chat and drink two cups of tea for New Year's greetings.
Especially the voice of breaking off relatives today, one reason is that many people feel troublesome, they don't move around all year round, and it's boring to walk during the New Year. More and more middle-aged people are complaining that they have spent their year-end bonuses and half a year's savings during the Spring Festival.
On the other hand, there are many times when rural relations are useless, and someone hits the nail on the head and says: "Relatives in the countryside are useless, have no power and no money." In the past, it was an agrarian society, and we needed to help each other. Now, without the help of interests, it is normal for young people to be reluctant to grieve themselves. ”
Many people have the experience of living in the countryside, in the countryside, everyone lives in a small circle, in the past, between the neighbors and relatives, all advocate mutual interests, everyone helps each other, even if it is to kill a pig during the New Year, the neighbors and villagers, all invited to eat. Between relatives, parents also give them a piece of meat. A pig is basically eaten and sent to a third of it.
In this relatively closed small world, everyone relies on this small world to survive and develop interpersonal relationships, and you have to behave and do things according to the rules of this world.
But now, this model of mutual assistance between relatives has collapsed in the post-00 generation, this generation has gone out of the countryside, they mainly rely on their own performance to eat, rely on their own efforts to earn money, some went to the big city to buy a house to settle down, some went to the county to buy a house, and rarely rely on relatives to survive and develop.
Many of their generation have gone to college, and their circles are different, and many fellow villagers go to a city together to work and live less, and they move around less and have less contact, let alone chat like friends, and the family relationship in the past is gradually difficult to maintain.
Therefore, breaking off relatives has become what many people are doing and preparing to do. But is it really right to break off?
Breaking off relatives is actually refreshing for yourself, but it is bitter for future generations.
The author has a lot of friends who have moved from the countryside to the city, from the lives of these friends, we can see that their family affection is actually difficult to maintain, which is a kind of helplessness, but if there are conditions during the Spring Festival, you can move around or try to move around, but now more and more people talk about the initiative to break off relatives is a very irrational approach, which may not have much impact on themselves in a short time, thinking that they do not rely on relatives to eat anyway, but it has a great impact on the next generation.
First of all, after many people move out of the countryside, we will obviously see that compared with many children who mingled with cousins or cousins when they were children, the babies in their own families lack the friendship and affection between relatives and children, and become more and more lonely.
When they were young, they rarely felt the care and help of relatives like us, and when they grew up, they didn't even have relatives, and when they were in trouble in the future, they had no relatives to ask for help, and they rarely felt the warmth brought by the feelings between relatives.
This is actually a lack of emotion for them.
Although it may not be possible to help, relatives can sometimes play an important role in other life matters, such as dealing with partners, finding jobs, or taking care of children.
For example, when the child grows up to find a job, to go on a blind date, often your relatives have someone who knows can help, if there is something important in the family that needs money, often relatives can often give some support and assistance, in the hometown of red and white ceremonies, weddings and funerals, are inseparable from the help of relatives. Relatives also play an important role in many things such as social placement, providing status**, etc.
In the author's hometown, if someone holds an important position in the city hospital, many relatives apply for medical majors, some people in the family do well in business, and there are often many people who study finance, management, and law, which actually corresponds to the mutual help and mutual benefit between the families.
It is not excluded that some relatives like to compare and play with right and wrong, but this is more amplified by a few cases, and it is not a common phenomenon.
Breaking off relatives is actually cutting off one's own interpersonal network that is closer to blood relations and can pull a hand in difficult times. Some people say that the reality is much more cruel than relatives, and now they basically take care of each other, and they can't help big things, and they don't need help for small things.
But in fact, the relationship between relatives also comes out, and if you don't take the initiative to go, it will naturally fade. Many of us always look at kinship with a view of power and extremism, thinking that rich people have distant relatives in the mountains. If you have no power or power, your relatives will look down on you.
In fact, whether kinship helps you or not, many times the key lies in you, if you have potential, self-motivated, reasonable, flexible, naturally someone is willing to help you, because you can see the return and win-win situation.
We can see that the richer the place, the more emphasis is placed on family relationships. In China, which pays attention to human feelings, feelings are sometimes an important basis for supporting business exchanges, and the Chinese New Year is also an important time for relatives and friends to get together and talk about business and work assistance. Others are breaking off, they are busy combining strong and strong, busy getting married.
It is worth mentioning that Chaoshan people, Chaoshan people have Chaoshan business gangs outside, and many Chaoshan people are doing good business, which is because the relationship between their local relatives and neighbors and social networks is very close, which makes Chaoshan people tend to help and support each other, do business outside, work hard, and can help each other in business activities, obtain each other's resources and support, and also improve their business competitiveness.
In order to avoid trouble, many young people take the initiative to cut off their relatives, which is equivalent to cutting off more of their future roads, and even suffering the next generation. The next generation does not have any help from relatives in various life events such as employment, life, and marriage, and can only rely on themselves. But you can't solve everything on your own, and connections and resources can sometimes be useful.
Many of us come to the city from the countryside and know that our hometown is our reliance and retreat, but what about your children and future generations? You are freed from trouble, your offspring, when they grow up, have no relatives and no reason, what do you leave them behind?
We know that in today's economic situation, although many people have moved out of the countryside, they want to break away from the shackles given by the countryside. But in today's environment, many people in the city are actually facing the uncertainty of the workplace, and many times, when people reach middle age, they are also facing the crisis of middle-aged layoffs.
Once you are old, you are laid off, and you can't get along in the city, so you want to go back to the countryside to develop, but the countryside has no way out, because the countryside is a relational society. In rural counties and small cities, not many jobs are occupied by various relationships, and if you break off your kinship, it is equivalent to cutting off the back road in the countryside.
When you are old and your children are alone in the city facing the world, you may suddenly miss the excitement and care between relatives one day, but that day, there is no going back.