To build long-lasting relationships, we must move away from those that are attritional. These relationships often leave us feeling exhausted, helpless, and disappointed because they are built on an unhealthy foundation and lack real emotional support and interaction.
In a consuming relationship, people tend to focus only on their own needs and desires and ignore the feelings and needs of the other person. This one-way approach can lead to resentment and ambivalence on both sides, which can eventually lead to the breakdown of the relationship.
In contrast, healthy relationships should be supportive, understanding, and respectful of each other. In this relationship, people feel valued and needed, leading to a more stable and long-lasting connection.
In order to build long-lasting relationships, we need to learn to identify and avoid attritional relationships. First, we need to think hard about our motivations and purpose for our interactions, and see if we are only engaging in them to satisfy our own needs. Second, we need to learn to listen to and understand each other's feelings and needs, and respect each other's opinions and choices.
In addition, building long-lasting relationships requires time and effort. We need to keep in touch often, share each other's lives and feelings, and grow and progress together. Only in this way can we build a true intimacy and make each other an integral part of our lives.
In conclusion, moving away from attritional relationships is a necessary condition for building long-lasting relationships. Through mutual respect, understanding and support, we can build a true sense of intimacy and make each other an integral part of our lives.