One day, a friend mentioned in a casual conversation about one of his parent-teacher conferences.
His child's performance in school was mediocre, not the kind of top achievers, nor was he an athlete, but the child had a strong interest in painting. At the parent-teacher meeting, the class teacher suggested that parents encourage their children to develop their own interests and hobbies, and do not need to overemphasize grades.
At the time, my friend agreed, but a parent next to him disagreed, believing that only good grades were the guarantee of a child's success.
In the long history of education, the role of parents is undoubtedly crucial. They are the first teachers of the children and the guides of the children's growth path. However, some parents have inadvertently become an obstacle to their children's progress, and their worries and fears have invisibly built obstacles in their children's hearts.
In fact, most parents in middle-class families, out of uncertainty about the future and concern for their children's well-being, tend to educate their children with their own fears.
They tell their children, "If you don't study hard, you won't be able to find a good job in the future", "If you don't know how to share, you won't be able to make friends", although these remarks are well-intentioned, they invisibly limit children's imagination and desire to explore.
Children are afraid to try and pursue what they are really interested in.
In the long run, they grow up as young adults, and when faced with the challenges of life and work, their inner fear becomes the biggest obstacle.
The limitation of this type of education is that it can only bring short-term obedience and security, but it deprives the child of the opportunity for self-exploration and suppresses the child's inner potential. All good things are above the ceiling of fear, and it takes courage to fight for them.
However, children who are limited by the fear education model often lack this courage.
Because education should be about encouragement and inspiration, not restriction and fear.
True education should help children to know themselves, discover their interests, and have the courage to try, rather than imposing their own fears and limitations on them. In this process, the role of parents is that of supporters and guides, not referees.
So as parents, we should reflect on our own approach to education.
Are we also unintentionally limiting our children's growth with our own fears?The right thing to do is to provide children with as much a platform as possible to explore, to experiment, and to discover their true interests.
At the same time, replace fear and restriction with encouragement and trust, so that children have unlimited possibilities on the road to growth.
Fear seems to become a difficult emotion to get rid of in our lives, especially when it comes to educating children.
Many parents, perhaps out of uncertainty about the future, choose a fear-driven approach to education in the hope that it will protect their children from setbacks and failures.
But is this type of education really beneficial for children?
As parents, we must recognize that while fear can drive children to avoid certain behaviors in the short term, it can limit their ability to explore and innovate in the long run.
Imagine when a child is told about the various adverse consequences they may encounter before trying something new, and this seed of fear will eventually take root in their minds, forming a psychological barrier that makes them hold back in the face of new challenges.
More critically, fear-driven education ignores the importance of encouragement and positive feedback.
As mentioned earlier, many times, all we need is a simple "you can", and this simple encouragement can stimulate children's inner potential and give them the courage to face the unknown and challenges.
Children who grow up in this mode of education tend to be more confident and willing to try, knowing that even if they fail, they have the support and encouragement of their families to back them up.
Moreover, the essence of education is to guide and develop, not to restrict and intimidate.
Education should be a process that stimulates children's interest, develops independent thinking and problem-solving skills. By encouraging children to explore and create, we are actually helping them to develop a positive worldview and believe that they can make an impact on the world.
So, what should we do as parents?
First, try to avoid using intimidating language and don't make your child feel like you're restricting them. Second, use more positive encouragement, even small improvements are commendable. Furthermore, give children the opportunity to try new things, even if they may fail, because failure itself is the best teacher. Finally, develop children's independent thinking skills and encourage them to put forward their own opinions and solutions to the problems they encounter.
Overall, education should not be a fear-filled process, but rather a journey of love, encouragement, and exploration.
With more encouragement and support, we can not only help children avoid the shadow of fear, but also bring out the potential within them to become more courageous and creative people.
So, how should we position the balance between fear and encouragement when faced with the complex proposition of educating children?
There's no doubt that life is always full of uncertainties and challenges.
As we have seen, many parents, driven by fear out of uncertainty about the future, hope that this approach will protect their children from life's risks and misfortunes.
However, this practice is often counterproductive and becomes a major obstacle to the child's development.
We should recognize that while fear can have a short-term effect on children to avoid certain risks, it also limits children's ability to explore and innovate. The fearful approach to education sets up an invisible ceiling that confines the child's potential and possibilities to a small space.
True education should be open and encouraging, giving children the opportunity to explore the unknown and pursue their dreams bravely.
So, what's the right thing to do? The simple answer is "encouragement".
We should encourage our children to try, even if they fail, that's okay. The important thing is to learn from failure so that you can grow and improve. Every attempt, regardless of the outcome, is a valuable experience that will take the child further down the road ahead.
In a sense, encouraging children to pursue what they are interested in is actually helping them break through that invisible ceiling and unleash their limitless potential. And the release of this potential can often lead to unexpected achievements.
We have seen countless examples of children who are encouraged by their parents to pursue their dreams and eventually find a world of their own.
Of course, this does not mean that we should completely let our children go their own way without any guidance and help. Instead, we should be their guides and supporters, providing them with the necessary resources and help, while giving them plenty of space to explore and experiment.
In this process, the key is to build children's self-confidence and make them believe in their own abilities and believe that they are capable of overcoming difficulties and challenges.
Finally, we must realize that every child is unique and has different interests, abilities, and dreams.
Therefore, the way of education should also be individualized and flexible. As parents, our task is to discover and nurture our children's personalities and strengths, rather than trying to mold them into a preconceived notion of what they are.
All in all, when faced with the issue of educating children, we should abandon the fear-based approach to education and move towards an approach based on encouragement and support.
In this way, we are not only able to help children get rid of their fears, but also to bring out their potential and lead them to a bigger future.