A relative's child went to Shenzhen to work, and when he returned home a few months later, he talked about his impression of Shenzhen, saying that the environment there was very good, but he just felt that people did not seem to have a "human touch".
This is relative to our local area. After all, he is accustomed to the local culture of "many people are not strange", whether it is between relatives or friends, there are more etiquettes and a stronger sense of intimacy.
In addition to him, there are also some young people who go to school or work in Beijing, Shanghai and other places, and they all feel the same way, saying that people in big cities are "indifferent and unkind".
In some places with an average level of economic development, the "human touch" seems to be stronger.
What is the reason for this?
There are two main reasons, one is the rule and the other is the sense of boundaries.
First of all, the first point is that places that talk about rules and abide by rules often have rapid economic development, and on the other hand, if a place is full of people and sophistication, it will naturally rest on its laurels and slowly become a pool of stagnant water, and it is difficult to develop.
This must be experienced by many people, for example, if you want to do something in some counties, whether you have acquaintances and relationships, the efficiency of doing things and the attitude of encounters are completely different.
In economically developed places, everyone is accustomed to doing things according to the rules of the game, and everyone has reached a consensus, which is the most efficient, fairest, and most beneficial to the majority.
Therefore, the level of economic development has a great causal relationship with the rules. The problem in many places is that the rules are not clear, the human factor is too heavy, and the rules are often ignored and broken. It's a hassle because no one can trust you.
Relationships in big cities are not so much shallow as they are boundary. You can make friends, but friends are really not the same as family, and even the best friends must keep a proper distance.
This is actually a good thing, and it is a manifestation of the rationality of adults. Otherwise, if there is no boundary in the relationship, it is easy to have problems between two people, after all, everyone is an independent individual, everyone has their own world, and everyone is disgusted by others' transgressions.
It is precisely because of independence and rationality that I understand that moderation is good, so that the relationship can be long-lasting. In other words, this is conducive to the stability and longevity of the relationship, and the protection and fulfillment of friendship.
Interpersonal communication needs to look at fate, like-minded confidants are hard to meet, most of the time in life, there are people coming and going, if you can't look at this correctly, it is undoubtedly asking for trouble.
Therefore, "thin affection" is a degree, it is better than ruthlessness, and it is longer than affection, which is one of the signs of social progress.
Many post-70s and post-80s generations should have an impression of this, for example, hundreds of families in a village, they have relatives or personal contacts with each other, and they usually move around a lot and trouble each other, which seems humane, but in fact everyone wants to escape.
Why? Because of comparison, because too much correspondence brings grievances and grievances, and the times are different, everyone just wants to live their own small life, and they are afraid of trouble, the more families with good economic conditions, the more they feel that too many human contacts are a burden.
Let's think about it, what is "human affection"? Favor actually means a kind of responsibility and obligation, is responsible for others, when you are poor, there is no way, everyone has to huddle together for warmth, but if you are developed, who wants to take a group of relatives and friends to get rich together?
Not that there aren't, but very few. And many people "rely on others" thinking is very serious, if you don't help him, it is equivalent to offending him, and if you help him, he will often incur resentment and dependence, "if you are near, you are not inferior, and if you are far away, you will resent", this situation is also commonplace. At this time, human affection is actually more ruthless than thin affection.
Of course, it is always bad to be unkind, and we should still do our part and do our part when we can.
I hope that everyone can read the article "Quietly Talk about Life" to get better, not worse. I don't want people to see only the negative side of life and forget the positive side.
is still the same sentence, "There is only one kind of heroism in the world, that is, after recognizing the truth of life, you still love life." ”
Therefore, the quiet attitude is that we should see through the illusion, but in the specific life it is rare to be confused, the water is clear, there is no fish, and the light and dust are the great wisdom.
Go with the flow. In the big city, you are more affectionate and fit into that kind of moderate interpersonal relationship. In a small place, you are more welcoming, and you are also in that kind of human atmosphere. That's all there is to be to it for.
Life in the world, the important thing is self-interest and altruism, when the strength is not enough, it is good to be alone, and after the strength is great, it will help the world, and "concurrently" is naturally to start from the people around you. In this way, we will not be in vain when we come into this world, and in the end, it will be easy for me to have a clear conscience. That's all there is to this life.