One morning in 2020.
All of a sudden, a large chunk of my hair fell out, about 3-4 cm in diameter.
In addition to the panic, I knew very well that this was a serious warning from my body.
Because at this time, I have been depressed for more than half a year, due to endless mental internal friction, my body and mind are extremely overdrawn.
This year has been a mess!!
The company that was so hard to build collapsed, leaving one person in despair, with no place at the moment and no direction for the future.
The sudden blow, too late to react, reluctant to accept, and not brave to face it, my heart was full of unwillingness and remorse, and I desperately wanted to turn over.
I can't look down on small things, I can't do big things, every day I am either looking for shortcuts or fantasizing about miracles, and I can't make up my mind to do anything at all.
Even many of the truths I have learned have completely lost their efficacy, and I have no strength in my body, and I have let my mind fall, but the reality will not get used to you, and life must go on
Maybe it's consumed to a certain limit, and it has played a role in bottoming out.
One day, my brain suddenly realized that I was not completely passively indulging, so why was I abusing myself?
Think about those who have achieved something, most of them have experienced all kinds of setbacks and tribulations, and finally succeeded, how can there be anything that can be achieved overnight? Besides, I'm so young, can't I get through this difficulty?
I kept asking myself, what if I was actively working this year? Wouldn't it be better? Will the difficulties be overcome sooner? At least it's better than doing nothing, and the more I think about it, the more ashamed I become, and the less I dare to delay time.
After waking up, I calmed down a bit, reorganized my thoughts, made a plan of action, and decided to start with all the small things, and then started to go to bed early and get up early every day, exercise, read books, etc., anyway, I can't let myself be idle, and I no longer force myself to make any achievements, just try my best to do what I need to do every day.
After about a month, I felt a lot more relaxed, and at the same time, with the development of work, I saw my progress every day, and in a blink of an eye, 4 years have passed, and everything has slowly entered the track, and the anxiety has gradually disappeared.
Looking back now, I still feel that I was stupid at the time, but I am also glad that this painful experience has made me choose to deal with it actively in the first place, no matter what problems I encounter now.
So that I have a deep understanding and awareness of anxiety, and at this time, no matter what state you are in, I think I should be able to provide you with some useful advice.
Regarding anxiety, first of all, we must have a clear understanding of it, we must face it, accept it, and admit its normal existence, which is an emotion that everyone will have, and as long as there is desire, it is impossible to get rid of it completely.
Anxiety also has its positive side, moderate anxiety will make people think more thoughtfully, summarize lessons more profoundly, and stimulate potential abilities.
However, when anxiety is excessive, it becomes an obstacle, and the most harmful is physical and mental health.
Everything is relative! That's what anxiety really is!
But in reality, it is difficult to control, because we are surrounded by work, life, health, children, parents and other problems every day, ready to call at any time, in addition to suffering from all kinds of dazzling **, it is indeed difficult to get a trace of stability in body and mind.
This proves that except for a few people with mental illness, 99% of our anxiety comes from life, and excessive anxiety has obviously become a norm.
The real situation is that the so-called practice is just covering up their ears and stealing the bell or playing tricks, which is an upside-down approach, and when it doesn't go well, they may think that their own cultivation is not in place, and they cultivate for the sake of cultivation, seeking comfort, and most of the forms are formal, but because they are too biased and delaying things.
In view of this "heart disease" that cannot be seen or touched, it is basically difficult to prescribe specific treatments. Whether it is medical treatment or cardiac therapy in the world, it can be summed up in three directions.
Let's take this as a result:
For example, the Taoist idea of "doing nothing and doing nothing" is simply understood to be to go with the flow, not to confront the laws of nature, and not to act recklessly, so that there will be no troubles.
The "impermanence and thoughtlessness" of Buddhism means that there is no eternity in the world, everything is changing, everything does not belong to you, everything will eventually return to 0, let go of obsession and allow everything to happen, and should be at peace with what happens.
The truth is not difficult to understand, but we grew up in Confucianism as the mainstream of ideological education, the cultural gene has long been deep-rooted, everything follows the struggle, etiquette and responsibility, which can not be easily put down, who can do otherworldly?
The second is the most specific and popular modern psychology that can be used to investigate anxiety through multiple dimensions such as genetic inheritance, brain nerves, personality traits, negative environment, etc., and the means are more cognitive, behavioral, and dynamic, which are very authoritative, but it seems that it is only focused on regulation, and after alleviation, when you encounter problems again, you may unconsciously produce new anxiety.
So how do we deal with this symptom?
Here we must first figure out a very important factor, people, are social animals, there is a need for emotional interaction, the real world is more value-oriented, happiness needs to be obtained from the recognition and feedback of others, that is, the more you are needed, the stronger this feeling is, focusing on reflecting the value, in order to stand upright.
It's really not how many temples you worship, how many times you have been there, how many kowtows you can get your wish, even if there are really gods, so many people in the world, will they care about your idle affairs? An ordinary person, the order of actively pursuing life should be to live a good life first and then improve the ideological realm, avoid worries, and become more calm.
The basic thing that can achieve all this is action, and what is visible to the naked eye can have a sense of steadiness, at least it can help you eliminate your guilt.
In fact, many times, the anxiety is not that they have not got the result, but the uselessness of resenting themselves and not doing it, always entangled with themselves, and always unable to be ruthless, the best way to break free from this trouble is execution, just acting, enough to help you relieve most of your anxiety.
After understanding the importance of action, it is also necessary to avoid new anxiety due to impatience, which belongs to desire over ability, extreme lack of patience, too much desire to prove oneself will lead to more detours, only focus on superficial efforts will fall into inefficient diligence, repeated attempts will lead to self-doubt, and in the short term if you can't see hope to give up.
Rather than smart busy, it is better to study seriously, the basic principle of success is the explosion of accumulation, to the depth is anti-human nature, although it is human nature to take shortcuts, but in the long run it is not feasible, but also against the law of growth, most of the things on the market, as long as you are willing to sink down and continue to polish for 5 years, you will be able to make some achievements.
In short, in the face of anxiety, neither too leisurely, nor too impatient, everything in the long run, what we can do is to try to reconcile with it, use action to offset and maintain stability, maybe action may not necessarily have results, but no action will be fruitless, normal anxiety is to try our best but not forced, to remain cautious while remaining optimistic, this may be the best balance.