On the 29th of the lunar month, tomorrow is the Chinese New Year's Eve, and the Spring Festival of 2024 is inexorably approaching, and every household is busy with year-end cleaning, preparing new clothes, buying New Year goods, and visiting relatives and friends.
On the eve of the holiday, I went to my in-laws' house last night. The mother-in-law was concentrating on wrapping the red envelopes for the Chinese New Year, she bought some beautiful red envelopes and took out a large amount of brand new cash from the bank. However, when I saw the ten red envelopes, I discovered a little secret from my mother-in-law, and this discovery worried me.
Born in the early 60s of the last century, my mother-in-law has a junior high school education, worked in Gucheng Grain and Oil Group and enjoyed retirement. She is both shrewd and capable, but also kind-hearted, and can be regarded as an insightful figure among her peers. In the family, the financial power is completely in the hands of the mother-in-law, and the father-in-law is a hands-off shopkeeper. My father-in-law often said: "I have worked in a leadership position for decades, managing hundreds of people, and the affairs of the family will be handled by your mother, so that she can also experience the taste of being a leader." ”
My mother-in-law gave birth to three children, my husband is the eldest, and his older brother and sister are above and below him, respectively. Our family has one son, while my sister's family has one son and two daughters. In total, the mother-in-law has five grandchildren.
When I picked up one of the red packets, I found that the ten red packets were of different thicknesses. Curiosity drove me to open one of the red envelopes, and the amount of cash in it was really different from the others. I couldn't help but ask, "Mom, why are the amounts of red envelopes different?" Why are there more and some less? ”
The mother-in-law replied hesitantly: "Give Yang Yang and Hao Hao a little more, Nannan a little less, and Xuanxuan and Doubao'er a little less......."”
It turned out that the amount of red envelopes given by my mother-in-law to her grandchildren was different: 2,000 yuan per person for my child Yang Yang and Hao Hao from my uncle's family, while 800 yuan for my sister-in-law's grandson Nannan, and even fewer red envelopes for my granddaughters, only 500 yuan. The in-laws give one each, so each child ends up with two red envelopes.
I was shocked and asked, "Why are grandchildren treated differently?" Aren't they all your grandchildren? The mother-in-law replied vaguely that the grandson is the most precious after all, and although the grandson and the granddaughter are also related by blood, they are not from our Li family after all, so it is reasonable to leave more to the grandson, because the grandson may not be responsible for us when he grows up, and there will be a difference at that time.
I was shocked by these words, but I didn't expect my mother-in-law to still have such a feudal concept in her heart. Even though she was an educated city dweller, I didn't think she would have that kind of thought. I've often heard people say "patriarchal", but it seems to me that this notion has long since faded with the times. Moreover, I rarely see a patriarchal preference in modern rural areas, where most parents pamper their sons as if they were their own daughters.
I began to wonder if other people shared this patriarchal mindset. I would like to ask all the uncles and aunts, do you have such thoughts? Please be honest with your answers.
With the passage of time, despite the gradual progress of our society, certain outdated ideas still seem to persist stubbornly. Patriarchal attitudes, although fading in some areas, remain deeply ingrained in some families. On the eve of the Chinese New Year, let's reflect together and strive to eliminate this unreasonable gender bias, so that every child can be equally cared for and respected. This is what a truly happy and harmonious family should look like.