I met her for the first time at a friend's party. She was wearing a pale blue dress and had a big smile that I couldn't take my eyes off her. From that moment on, I knew I had fallen deeply in love with her.
This is how our story began. I pursued her hard, gave her flowers, gifts, and did everything I could for her every day. However, her attitude was always lukewarm, which left me unpredictable. After I tried hard for a month, I chose to give up because I couldn't see any hope.
However, after Singles' Day last year, she suddenly reached out to me and asked me to go to the movies with me. I know that this is the opportunity she gave me, and I certainly won't miss it. During that time, we reconnected and our relationship gradually warmed up. A month later, I plucked up the courage to confess to her, and she accepted it without hesitation.
In the past six months, our relationship has been very stable. We've had quarrels, we've had cold wars, but each time we've defused them. During the Dragon Boat Festival, we have met with our respective parents and started to plan for our future.
However, one night last week, I discovered something that I couldn't accept. She was in frequent contact with a married man, and I found out it was her ex-boyfriend when I pressed to ask. He is married, but his relationship with his wife is not harmonious, and he will complain to her every time he quarrels. She said they were just friends and nothing else. But I know that's not the whole truth.
I couldn't accept such a thing and proposed to break up. She cried very sadly, saying that she didn't want to break up and would never have any contact with her ex-boyfriend in the future. Over the past week, she has been redeeming me, giving me all kinds of promises, and constantly showing favor. I know she loves me a lot, but I can't forget her past.
Should I give her a chance? I really love her, but I can't ignore her past either. What should I do?
My opinion:
Honesty, trust, and respect are required in a relationship
In a relationship, a breakup is always accompanied by a variety of complex emotions and traumas. Sometimes, people alleviate these emotional pains by keeping in touch with their ex. However, this behavior is not wise as it can be potentially threatening and hurtful to the current relationship. If a person really likes their current partner, they should be responsible for each other's feelings, maintain appropriate distance and boundaries, and avoid causing unnecessary misunderstandings and conflicts.
When we are faced with this situation, we must first analyze calmly and do not make guesses and assumptions lightly. We need to communicate to understand the other person's true thoughts and feelings, rather than guessing at the other person's intentions. If we find that the other person's behavior has caused harm to our feelings, we need to express our dissatisfaction and concern in a timely manner and work with the other person to find a solution to the problem. If we find that the other person is not respecting our feelings, we need to consider whether the relationship needs to be revisited to avoid greater harm in the future.
In short, honesty and trust are needed in a relationship. We need to take each other's feelings seriously and avoid acting in a way that hurts each other. When we find a problem, we need to communicate and solve it in a timely manner, rather than exacerbating the conflict through speculation and assumptions. Only in this way can we build a stable and healthy relationship and move towards a happy future together.
end Wen Zifeng (** on the Internet, invaded and deleted).