My son has been diagnosed with bipolar for three years, and as his condition stabilizes and gradually moves towards **, I can calm down and think about some things.
The so-called bipolar disorder is just something wrong with emotional regulation, and in the face of some life pressure, they are easy to be brought into the mood and be swayed by emotionsIt's just that we can adjust well, and they lack the ability to adjust in this area.
So, why are they prone to mood swings and emotional dysregulation out of control?In the final analysis, there is a bias in the perception of problems, and it is easy to be affected and influenced by many negative things.
So, why is there a cognitive bias?Putting aside biological factors, neurotransmitters and the like, which is the so-called congenital inheritance, we don't understand, let's put it aside, I keep recalling my son's negative things when he was growing up. It is the influence of external factors that I continue to recall, and I generally summarize the following reasons. I write it out to reflect on myself, but I also hope that it can be helpful and useful to readers.
First, there are three reasons for low self-esteem in adolescence, and these three aspects are also interlinked and affect each other.
1.Pimples trigger appearance anxiety.
My son's pimples grew early, in the sixth grade of elementary school, and I didn't take it seriously at the time, thinking that my father and I were both growing when we were young, it was a matter of blood, but now I think that it should be an endocrine disorder at that time. And until he graduated from junior high school, he didn't care much, and when he went to high school, he caused problems with his classmates, and he became inferior.
2.The difference between urban and rural areas, I feel inferior.
Because as soon as he entered junior high school, we transferred him to the city, and I became a full-time accompaniment to my mother, and junior high school was fine, and his grades have always been good.
When I was admitted to the key high school in our small town, my classmates were all children from the city, and there was a difference in food and clothing, which hit the children's self-esteem.
3.Therefore, due to the above two reasons, his son's grades naturally couldn't keep up, and he began to eat and sleep poorly.
When he tried his best and couldn't do anything, he began to complain about external reasons, such as his parents' incompetence, why was he so unlucky?All the bad things are on him.
According to common sense, these negative emotions are normal, and there is a problem with parents, if we can help him in time and help him channel those bad emotions, he will not get into the horns.
Speaking of this, I can't do anything, I can't do anything about it, I can't wait to live again, regenerate three heads and six arms, and learn how to be a qualified mother again. But these awakenings are all later.
Second, the second aspect is still the issue of parents.
When I was young, my son was clever and quick-witted, but I only remembered one sentence, didn't I say that good children are all praised?When he was a child, he lived in my praise, and he didn't know that there was a saying called frustration in the world, so that when he grew up, he thought very highly of himself and couldn't recognize his actual ability at all.
Therefore, after failing the college entrance examination, he did not admit defeat at all, and only thought that his ability had not been brought into play, which was not the reason. That's the reason, in short, it's all from the outside world.
With such an inferiority complex and conceited character, he often drives himself into a dead end.
Of course, it's still that sentence, as a nurturer, the responsibility is inescapable, when I first started looking for an online psychiatrist to enlighten him, he didn't listen to anything at the time, I was enlightened, although I am remedied, but I am willing to believe that the future is still very long, it is not too late, I am willing to believe that my father and I still have a chance to make amends, and I am willing to grow up with him again.
Since I can't hire a professional psychologist now, I discussed with my dad and was willing to work hard to find out his stubborn thoughts in time and find ways to help him understand and change. Both of us as a couple have also learned the importance of a positive and sunny attitude to life, there is always a shadow, depending on how you look at it. We have already suffered from negative energy, why can't we change our mentality?The mountains don't turn around, do they?