How to take the initiative in the relationship

Mondo Psychological Updated on 2024-02-15

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If you are passive, unappreciated, and often left out in a relationship, today's article will make you counterattack and become the dominant party in the relationship.

If you want to take the initiative in your relationship, you must abide by the following three principles:

The first is not self-proof. When a man says that he stinks, he has always ignored it, and he will not prove himself like a woman: if a man says that you are not good, you have to prove that you are good; If a man says that you don't pay, you have to spend more money on him; When men say that you are not gentle, you are empathetic without a bottom line. In fact, there is really no need for this kind of self-proof.

What is self-proof? Self-certification is a test of human obedience, if you go to self-certification, it means that you are in a low position, and you need to self-prove to the high-ranking person. Smart women, they don't care what the man thinks, they just flip the table and don't participate in the bidding. Don't worry about others saying that you are extreme, dare to break the rules set by men, so that you can reshuffle the cards and sit on your own.

The second, do not explain. For example, if he asks you why you didn't reply to the message yesterday and don't explain what you did, you ask him: Have you been waiting for me? For example, if he asks you if you are talking to a lot of people, you don't have to explain that you don't, so you ask: Are you often so sensitive and suspicious? But your sensitive and suspicious appearance is quite likable! No matter what questions he asks you, never explain, but guide the other person to expose his sense of need and put him in a passive psychological position, so that you can always advance and retreat.

The third, dare to snub it. For example, if he suspects that you have been in love many times, question you, don't refute him, and if he continues to ask you, you turn around and leave, and then snub him. In the stage of the game, don't be too obedient, whoever has a more stable mentality will be in control of the overall situation. If he thinks it through, he will come back to you and prove that he has convinced himself. Then, you can tell him not to mention it again in the future, and set rules for him. If he continues to question you, be prepared to give up on him and don't be afraid of losing him.

If you want to take the initiative in the relationship, you have to dare to game, dare to snub, and let him abide by the rules of your game.

Here I recommend reading "Game Theory", a guide to interpersonal communication that you can understand and use.

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