Every family has its own difficulties, some of which come from between husband and wife, and some from between elders and elders. When encountering different conflicts, each person will deal with them differently. Some people will fight on the basis of reason to protect their own rights and interests, while others will choose to tolerate compromise and value peace.
Ms. Li, who is 37, has encountered a problem, she has been married to her husband for many years and has a happy life. But Ms. Li had problems dealing with the relationship between her small family and her parents.
Just two days ago, Ms. Li's mother's 60th birthday, she and her husband had several awkward quarrels because of this incident, and in the end, her husband used facts to explain that Ms. Li was thankless, although Ms. Li was unwilling, but she could only accept it. Let's hear Ms. Lee's story.
As a mother who is almost forty years old, but at some point, I still do it indiscriminately. My husband always told me to be tactful and to be self-conscious, but I never took his advice. I always think that if I keep my family in order and manage my relationships with my friends, I will be satisfied.
My mother celebrated her 60th birthday a while ago, and I thought that 60 years old was very important for the elderly, so I planned to eat in a restaurant. But my mother wanted to eat at home, save money and be lively, so we all agreed.
Unexpectedly, my husband kept saying: "It's too troublesome to eat at home, you have to buy vegetables to cook, and you have to clean, so it's better to go out to eat, which is comfortable and trouble-free." ”
My husband said so, but in fact, he was a door-picker, and every time he went to the restaurant, he would be careful, because it cost a lot to buy gifts for my mother, and I had a fight with him.
I thought I should work my mother's 60th birthday and buy some decent gifts, I took a fancy to a gold bracelet worth 5,000 yuan, which I was going to give to my mother, but my husband said that it didn't cost so much, in short, he didn't pay attention to my mother's birthday at all.
My husband said: "Over the years, we haven't bought anything, we have bought it many times, why bother to buy such expensive things this time, we don't have much money at home, besides, I haven't seen your mother treat us well." ”
My husband kept complaining, in fact, I can understand that my mother did not help us too much, on the contrary, my mother also had some resentment towards my husband, at the beginning, she did not take my husband seriously, thinking that my husband was incapable and did not have a stable job.
After I got married, I was going to buy a house, and my husband and I lived in a staff apartment together, which was not very convenient, so I saved money to buy a second-hand house, at least a home, and it could also give us a place to stay. I asked my parents to borrow money, but I only had 2,000 yuan.
The mother said: "In two years, your brother will get married, and this money still has to be kept for him, besides, the house belongs to your husband's family, not ours, you let him think of a way." ”
My father gave me 2,000 dollars to pay attention to my body, and since then, I have started to blame my parents because they don't know what I'm struggling with. My husband has also been responding to this matter, and I have been maintaining the relationship between my husband and my mother's family in the past few years.
When my mom celebrated her birthday, my husband reacted strangely, he told me to wait for him to come back and then we went together before he went to work in the morning, and he was very serious, so I agreed, and then I waited for him at home with my son.
That day I was full of resentment in my heart, he usually never worked overtime, but this day he had to work overtime, he knew that he was going back to his parents' house for his birthday, I couldn't help but quarrel with him. My family is pushing me, I'm pushing my husband, but my husband is delaying it for a long time. After a big circle to park the car, we returned to our parents' house, and it was exactly half past seven in the evening.
I was a little embarrassed, but when I got home, my parents said that the road was too congested and there was no place to park, so it was delayed for such a long time.
Mom said, "Go to the kitchen and cook, it's not early." ”
Hearing this, I quickly washed my hands and walked into the kitchen, but when I walked into the kitchen, I was speechless.
My sister-in-law said, "Sister, you're finally here, I don't know what to do, I've never done it before, can you help me?" ”
I smiled and took over her work, but she turned and left, leaving me alone in the kitchen, and my husband also walked in and said in a strange tone:
You have forgotten that every year during the Chinese New Year, you cook in the kitchen, and I am there to help, and no one will come to help. ”
Although my husband's words are a little ironic, he is not wrong, since I got married, every year when I go home for the New Year, basically I am cooking, and before my brother is married, this matter is done by me and my mother, which is also very normal.
However, when my brother got married, my brother-in-law didn't help me. When my brother-in-law didn't have children, my mom said that she had just passed the door and didn't want her to be too busy. My brother-in-law had a child, and my mother said that my brother-in-law had to take care of the child. So, he handed over all the work at home to me, and I complained, but I knew that there was no way to do it, so I could only bear it silently.
At eight o'clock, my husband and I finally finished dinner, and when the dishes were served, they started eating, and they didn't wait for me to eat, and then the whole family congratulated my mother.
My mother said, "The things your brother bought for me are very practical, you see this bracelet, I don't usually like to wear it, don't buy it again in the future." ”
I smiled and nodded.
When I was about to finish eating, my mother asked me to clean up quickly, and my husband stood up and said, "Mom, we are going back, I have to go back to deal with a project document, which must be handed in early tomorrow morning, you let my brother's family clean up, they live close to you, and we are not in a hurry to go back, we have to hurry up and go home." ”
I was silent, and my mother was helpless.
My dad said, "Okay, if you're busy, go back first, we don't have much stuff at home, we can clean up by ourselves." ”
After my husband greeted my parents, he dragged me away, and along the way he was still saying in a strange tone: "If you see it, I'll just say, it's useless for us to buy so much, we knew today that we would have waited a little longer, maybe they will cook." ”
I said helplessly: "She's my mother, what can I do, as soon as I enter the kitchen, I know what's going on, I can't help it, besides, everyone is a family, and I don't want her to be embarrassed." ”
The husband smiled: "If I tell you directly, you will quarrel with me again, in short, you just can't remember, you have been like this so many times, obviously you have done the most, but in the end you will not get your mother's attention." In short, I know that your parents only care about your brother, they don't care about you at all, you say they are not good to me, but they are not good to you, don't you say? ”
I was very annoyed by my husband's words and said to him, "No matter what, they are my parents, how can you say that?" Say no more. ”
My husband didn't say anything more, but on the way back, I was also thinking that I could understand that my parents valued my younger brother, after all, my younger brother provided for them in old age. I'm married, so I'll care more about my little family in the future.