Humanities
Those who know the times are Junjie", which is a matter of choice. In "Guiguzi Confession", the saint is impermanent, has nothing to do, nothing to hear, nothing to listen to, and is the master of things. The "with" here means to be engaged, friendly; "Listening" means taking someone else's advice. The title of saint is used a lot in the hundred schools of the people, and the meaning of the saint spoken by each family is different. The sage mentioned in Confucianism is basically a specific title of Confucius, and in the context of Confucianism, no one else can be called a sage. The sages mentioned in Guiguzi's vertical and horizontal thinking system also have their own standards, which are different from the definition of Confucianism.
The saints mentioned here can be understood as people who have a relatively thorough understanding of the vertical and horizontal thinking system and can skillfully apply it. Therefore, the saints mentioned in Guiguzi do not have particularly strict moral standards for personality, but focus more on ability.
The gist of this passage in the original text is: The master of learning Guiguzi's vertical and horizontal studies does not regularly associate with certain people, nor does he stubbornly refuse to associate with certain people; As for other people's suggestions, no matter what the other party's suggestions are, they will not stubbornly and resolutely not take them, nor will they stubbornly and definitely adopt them. To associate with a person or not to socialize, to take or not to take the advice of others? The criteria for making a choice depend on whether you can help yourself achieve your goals, and whether you can help you better improve your strategy and planning.
Based on this passage, we need to distinguish a concept: the standard of being a person and doing things and the goal of being a person and doing things need to be adhered to? This is one of the important points of disagreement between the ancient Confucians and the Zonghengjia. Zonghengjia believes that in order to achieve the goal, it is necessary to maintain the flexibility of the method, so it is necessary to break some rigid standards, rules and guidelines for people and things. Therefore, Zonghengjia focuses on exploring effective ways to do things. Confucianism, on the other hand, believes that the integrity of life and personal stance are more important, emphasizing "self-cultivation" and not caring too much about the results of doing things. It is enough for a person to have a righteous spirit, which is a state. How is this man of righteousness living? Is it possible to make a career? It doesn't matter. Therefore, Confucianism says that a gentleman is poor. Confucius once praised his proud ** Yan Hui: "A spoonful, a scoop of drink, in the alley, Hui will not change his will." Obviously, the ambition that Confucius mentioned is not the ambition of the rich and rich, the ambition of fame and fortune, or the ambition of high and powerful positions, but the ambition of self-cultivation and firm personal integrity.
Confucianism cares more about what kind of person they become; And the Zongheng family cares more about what they have done. Therefore, in the eyes of the Zongheng family, Confucian characters are a little pedantic and stubborn; In the eyes of Confucianism, the Zongheng family will do whatever it takes to achieve the end, and there are always defects in their personality. Therefore, since Mencius, Confucianism and Zonghengjia have sneered at each other, and no one looks down on anyone. In fact, these two positions are not contradictory. Since ancient times, Confucianism has not only had a radiant personality, but also a master of strategy; And the famous Zonghengjia not only mastered the strategy, but also was superior in personality charm and personal pattern. Emphasizing only personality and ignoring ability is deviated from the perspective of social value; Desperate for personal goals is also a deviation from the perspective of social values.
If a person has the ability and means to achieve a goal, then it is necessary to measure what kind of goal the person wants to achieve; And a person's personal integrity with great integrity also needs to see what the person can contribute to society. A capable person can become the black sheep of this society if he is selfish; And no matter how good a person's personal integrity is, no matter how noble his personality is, if he cannot create value, he may become a parasite of this society.
Section 2: In-depth analysis.
The saint is impermanent, has nothing to do, has nothing to listen to, has nothing to listen to, and is in a matter of conspiracy and is the main one. The immediate implication of this passage is that we must not be stubborn, and we need to be flexible in how we behave and what we do. However, this flexibility is not arbitrary, but needs to be supported by a fixed standard. In this context, the constant criterion is whether or not it serves the goal. Therefore, before making a decision, we need to think about three questions:
First of all, what is our goal?
Second, how should we achieve this goal?
Finally, what resources are needed to achieve the goal?
Any effective decision-making needs to take these three factors into account, and none of them is indispensable. In fact, every decision and choice we make in life has a goal or purpose. Sometimes, this goal is clear and clear; Sometimes, this goal is hidden and vague. In the absence of a goal, we don't need to make decisions and choices, we just choose randomly.
Objective] In traditional culture, fire is regarded as the head of the five elements, symbolizing the direction that leads the entire vassal state, and also determines the management style of the vassal state and the spiritual outlook of the entire country. At the individual and business level, this "fire" corresponds to the goal. Once a person's goal is determined, it will determine where he will go, what kind of resources he will integrate and what kind of people he will make friends on this road; At the same time, what kind of mental outlook will this person appear in society.
The goal determines all the choices of a person, and all the decisions he makes revolve around the goal. Some people may feel lost and have no purpose. In fact, they may just disguise their innermost purpose as a feeling. The direction in which they feel best is their subconscious goal. All of their choices and decisions revolve around that feeling.
However, the feeling is vague and the goal is clear. When a person feels lost, if he can distill his vague feelings into a clear goal, then he has an ability. This ability allows a person to find their own beacon in the fog.
Once the goal of an enterprise is determined, it also determines the style and spirit of the enterprise. Therefore, a profit-oriented business may gradually lose its humanity over time until it loses its humanity completely. This is not determined by the will of the person, but by the goals of the enterprise. Because the goal determines all the choices of the enterprise, and the decision-making at every level of the enterprise revolves around the goal of pursuing interests, this process will inevitably gradually erode the original humanity of the enterprise until it is completely eroded. This is because when the scale of the enterprise is small, the various systems are not perfect, the power to pursue profits is small, and the impact on human nature is less. If the enterprise forms a monopoly, and there are constantly senior management personnel to join, and the various systems are becoming more and more perfect, then the ability to pursue interests will become stronger and stronger, and on the other hand, the erosion of human nature will become more and more serious.
For example, study a drug. If the drug is developed by a state department for the purpose of improving the disease and solving the problem, then the direction of research is how to completely remove the disease and minimize the cost of the drug. But if the drug is being studied by a drug group for the purpose of pursuing profits, then he needs to consider three aspects: first, the consumer is willing to buy; second, it can generate fixed benefits; The third is to consider how to continue to consume. In the end, this drug will definitely be effective, but it cannot completely ** the disease, and the patient needs to continue to take it to achieve the purpose of continuous purchase.
Different purposes will lead to different paths, and the results will be completely different in all aspects. In Western management theory, it is believed that if an enterprise does not make money, it is a hooligan; And if we use the content of this chapter to measure, if a company only wants to make money and ignore other factors, it is trying to make money. Business logic and human logic are in conflict with each other a lot of the time.
If we analyze it closely, we will see that the target has several characteristics:
Directionality: The goal is result-oriented. This result can be concrete or abstract. For example, the result can be to obtain a specific item or an event to develop to a specific stage; It can also be some kind of emotion. For example, when a woman is looking for a partner, she can set various goals: if you buy me a car, I will marry you, if you have a house, I will marry you, if you can give 200,000 bride price, I will marry you, etc., these are all situations with the goal of owning a specific thing; Also, if we can live happily together, I will marry you, if you can spoil me and be good to me, I will marry you, etc., this is a situation with feelings as the goal; The same is true when companies set goals: this year's performance will increase by 20%, which is based on specific data; This year, the business will be expanded to every prefecture-level city in the province, which is aimed at the development stage and so on.
Subjectivity: Different people have different goals, and different events have different goals, so goals vary from person to person and from event to event. In the business world and management, goals are basically set for the company to achieve a certain outcome, while in real life, when it comes to individuals, the goals may be more diverse. Because the goal is subjective, it can be judged by measuring the pattern and level of a person or an enterprise, and its values and moral standards, although this subjectivity is also affected by the general environment, but the specific individual is still very different.
There is such a dialogue in the Analects: Yan Yuan Ji Lu's servant said: "Zhu Ge Yan Erzhi? Zilu said: "May the carriage and horse clothes be light and have no regrets with friends." Yan Yuan said: "May there be no goodness and no hard work." Zilu said: "I wish to hear the ambition of the son." Zi said: "The old man's friend is the friend of the young man." The meaning of this conversation is that one day, Yan Yuan and Zilu accompanied their teacher Confucius to chat, and Confucius asked the two of them, can you talk about what your ideals are? Zilu said: "I hope to enjoy my carriage and horse clothes with my friends, even if they are broken, there is no regret." Yan Yuan said: "I hope that I can do it without boasting about my strengths or confessing my merits." Zilu asked Confucius, "Teacher hopes that you can also tell me what your ideal is?" Confucius said, "The elderly can live a carefree life in their old age, friends can trust each other, and young people are full of hope for the future." Obviously, these three people have three completely different personal ideals, that is, three completely different life goals, and they show three different patterns. Guiguzi Zonghengxue believes that a person's level depends on how many people his goal serves, obviously, Yan Yuan's goal is to cultivate his own self-cultivation, no matter how pure and noble this goal may seem, but there is only one person in his goal, that is, himself; And Zilu's goal is to contribute his own strength, so that the friends around him who can be contacted can live a better life, so his goal is to serve more people, so the individual is a level higher than Yan Yuan, maybe in life, people like Yan Yuan seem to be more realm and more cultivated, and people like Zilu may be informal or even uninhibited, but Zilu's world must be open-minded and open-minded, but if measured by vertical and horizontal thinking, Zilu's level is indeed higher; Confucius, on the other hand, aimed at serving the whole society and even the whole of mankind, which is obviously a higher level, and it can be said to be the highest level. Everyone is working hard for their goals, and how many people benefit from the process of working towards the goal determines the impact of the goal, and the number of people your goal serves determines how many people are willing to support you to achieve your goal. As many people as you can achieve your goal, there are as many people as you are willing to help you achieve it. Therefore, the forces behind different goals are completely different.
According to the concept of "Guiguzi Shengshen Law Five Dragons", the more people a person's goal can serve, the more people he "sees". If the goal is only focused on personal interests, then his vision can only be limited to himself. In real life, people with greater goals are more likely to care about the feelings of others and have better interpersonal relationships; And the smaller the target, the more focused on one's own emotions and unable to take into account the feelings of others.
In terms of social status, the lower the person, the more concerned about their own feelings, and the higher the status, the more concerned about the feelings of others. When a person is able to care about the feelings of others, his world becomes bigger and affects more people. And people who only focus on their own feelings will eventually become lonely.
Independence: Each target is independent. While it is sometimes possible to achieve multiple goals at the same time, each goal is relatively independent. Therefore, the more you focus on one goal in reality, the easier it will be to achieve that goal. If there are too many goals, it will lead to the distraction of energy and resources, which is not conducive to the achievement of goals. In "Guiguzi", it is said: "If there is too much desire, the heart will be scattered, and if the heart is scattered, the will will decline." ”
When there are more than two objectives, if they can be harmonized, then they will reinforce each other; If you can't coordinate, you can create conflicts, confuse others, and lead to confusion.
A goal that can be coordinated is usually related and essentially a goal. For example, a company wants to recruit good employees, but it also wants its company to grow better. In fact, the first goal is an extension of the second goal. That is, the achievement of the first goal is to achieve the second. Therefore, there will be no contradictions between them, but they will reinforce each other. The higher the quality of the company's employees, the better the company can develop. Conversely, a well-developed company attracts more talent.
Situations where two goals contradict each other usually arise in family relationships. On the one hand, some women want their husbands or boyfriends to take good care of them; On the other hand, I hope that my husband will have a successful career and make a difference. There is nothing wrong with taking only one of these two objectives. But if you want both to be satisfied, there will be a contradiction. First of all, from a human point of view, a delicate person in the family tends to be hesitant and lack self-confidence when doing things. This means that such a person may not be particularly smooth at work. Because if a person wants to make a difference in society, many times he needs to be brave and decisive and act boldly. The character traits of such people tend to be rough, and this roughness manifests itself not only at the social level, but also at the family level. Therefore, it is difficult for him to be delicate and considerate to his wife in family relationships.
Therefore, it is almost impossible for a woman to ask her husband to do both at the same time. These two goals are contradictory. Secondly, in terms of time allocation, a person who focuses on career development tends to put a lot of energy into work and has no time to spend with his wife. Because success is not easy, and putting all your time into your career does not necessarily lead to good results. If you still think about whether your wife is happy, watch movies with her, buy flowers and other trivial things, your career will definitely be affected. Because he doesn't have enough concentration!
On the other hand, if you always think about whether your wife is happy and who makes time for her to spend time with, you will inevitably spend less energy at work or even be distracted. In this state, it is almost fanciful to want to do a good job and career in modern society.
In the same way, when a man is looking for a partner, he either seeks to be gentle and virtuous, or he is to seek shrewdness**. A gentle and virtuous person is usually more inclusive and affectionate, but this can lead to a lack of direction and planning in their actions. Conversely, a person who is career-savvy** may be more logical-minded but may appear blunt when it comes to relationships.
When choosing a partner, people often want to find someone who is both gentle and successful, but in reality this is very difficult to achieve. This contradictory logic can get people into trouble. Therefore, when choosing a partner, we need to recognize that everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses and learn to accept and tolerate.
In our work, we also need to be clear about our goals. Sometimes, a person may have more than one goal, but there may be conflicts between those goals. To resolve this conflict, we can break down the goals into smaller ones and adjust them according to the actual situation. At the same time, we also need to consider our own capabilities and development space in order to make an informed choice.
In conclusion, whether in finding a partner or at work, we need to recognize that everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses and learn to accept and be inclusive. At the same time, we also need to consider our own capabilities and development space in order to make an informed choice. The future paths of an engineer and a cleaner are very different. Therefore, whether we are choosing a career or following a leader, we need to consider whether there are any limits to what we can do in the future.
The same is true when it comes to marriage. In modern society, there are many leftover men and women, who are still single in their thirties, have had many friends, have been introduced to many partners, and have even gone on blind dates many times, but still have not found a suitable partner. This may be because they are overestimating themselves or lack long-term planning. Overestimating themselves can lead to them not being able to see who is truly right for them, and the people they fancy look down on them. Lack of long-term planning can lead them to focus too much on immediate interests or the appearance of the other person, and ignore the more important factors such as personality, values, and other most important aspects of the long-term life of two people.
When choosing your other half, have you considered what level you are at and what your level is? Only when two people are on the same level, balanced with each other, can they really come together. Another angle is to see if the other person can appreciate your strengths. If the other party can appreciate your strengths, then it means that you have room to play in the future, and your life will get better and better. If the other person can't see your strengths, or only see the superficial appearance and speech and demeanor, but not your essence, then it means that after two people are together, they may keep asking for what you are good at. This will lead to dissatisfaction on both sides and gradual disappointment of expectations.
Taking sides is essentially choosing what kind of people to move forward with. Whether it's work or life, the principle is the same. The essence of being able to go along for a long time is value complementarity and exchange, rather than unilateral claim.
Guiguzi Resentment Chapter" mentions: "Stratagem is not loyal. This means that when faced with a choice, it is often impossible to have the best of both worlds. In this case, we need to choose the right direction. Combined with the above analysis, the so-called suitability is not the greatest value, but the value is equal.
A person who wants everything often gets nothing; In the face of two leaders, they don't want to offend, and they may end up having no place for themselves. The right choice is to choose a side if you have to take sides, then choose the side that you can bring more value to the other side.
I had a friend's child who graduated from college a few years ago and asked me to introduce him to a job. I asked him what he wanted, what kind of work he wanted to do, and what his strengths were in terms of personal ability. He replied that he had lived in the countryside since he was a child, and he had few contacts with people with poor social skills and a poor understanding of society, so he tried to find a job that was not too difficult. I told him that this was the right thing to think about, and that what was capable was the right thing to do. I can't do the job for long. He also said that this generation has never done any manual work, and they are usually lazy at home, so don't be too tired of this job, and you can't adapt to too tiring work. I said that this can also be considered. He also said that he just graduated from college and will have to get married, buy a house, buy a car, etc., and need to find a higher income, if the income is too low, he will not be able to live at all. To sum up, the criteria for the job he wanted to find were: low difficulty, not hard work, and high income. I just said to him, you go home and eat Mom and Dad, this job does not exist in this world, no!
Let's talk about another case, I have a student in his thirties, once after the lecture, he came to me and said, "Teacher, you know a lot of people, can you introduce me to a partner, I said this, you can talk about what you want, this girl said that I attach great importance to appearance, you find me a person who is more than 1.8 meters and looks handsome, I said, can I find such a person, do you have any other requirements, he said that men and women should be responsible for the burden of marriage and family, so try to find someone who makes more money, at least have an income of hundreds of thousands a year, I said, such a person has a tall, handsome and earning money, so you have to think about why you have such a boy, how many beautiful and capable girls to pounce on himWhy did he choose you!
Therefore, when making a choice, whether it is marriage or career, you have to consider two points: the first is at which level you are yourself, whether you can take over the things around you, and the second point is to consider why others can appreciate your advantages when they choose you, and at the same time can ignore your shortcomings, people who do not understand human nature are always thinking about their own feelings, so they become slaves of feelings, people who understand human nature, and pay attention to the feelings of others at any time, so they become the core of popularity.
The same is true for work, if you can't bring value by yourself, your early choices will be in vain, because no one wants to carry the burden forward; If the other party does not give you the space to exert your ability, you will not meet Jiang Ziya, when he was in the capital of the king of Shang, he had several times for the king of Shang to give advice, the king of Shang did not accept it, and did not give him room to play at all, so that Jiang Ziya was mixed at the feet of the Son of Heaven, sold rakes and noodles, married a wife, or a broom star, and couldn't take care of three meals a day, and was later appreciated by King Wen of Zhou, and the great cause of the great cause was beaten down for 800 years, and the Great Zhou Dynasty made a meritorious deed that has been praised for all generations, so even if he has value, he has to find a suitable platform to find a platform that can make his own play, and he also needs to have a leader who knows people and is good at his duties, and Maxima is often there, and Bole is not always there。
To summarize briefly, there are two aspects that need to be considered when making a choice: first, you are the material, your position and work, you can reflect your own value, show your own advantages, and make up for your own shortcomings; The second is to find a leader or platform that can give full play to his talents, which is not only valuable, but also able to show value, which is the best choice, from big things in the world to small things in his own life, all of which are this principle.
is like Han Xin, who went to Liu Bang from Xiang Yu; Just like Jiang Ziya, he went from King Shang to King Wen of Zhou. They are all making choices, and the reason why they choose this way is to choose a platform that can give full play to their abilities, and to choose the right time, where there is a need, and the time is just right.
Liu Bang needs to fight the world and needs the assistance of civil ministers and military generals; King Wen of Zhou also needs to fight the world, and he needs the assistance of Wenchen and military generals. They all need talents, and Han Xin and Jiang Ziya are all such talents, and their abilities are no problem, so they take what they need and achieve a generation of good stories.
Therefore, you can't be in a hurry to make a choice, you must learn to wait, learn to hide. It is also necessary to take the initiative at the right time, but the fundamental selection criteria cannot be shaken. As long as a person has value and takes the initiative to choose where he can play his value, he will definitely be able to find his own suitable position. Now this society lacks nothing, and talent is the most lacking. I'm not afraid that I won't meet talents, but I'm afraid that I don't have real skills.
One last piece of advice: know how to seize the time when it comes. There aren't many really good times in this life. There was a philosopher Plato in the West. One day, he asked his teacher Socrates: What is love? Socrates took him to a ripe wheat field in the suburbs and said to him, "Go from one end of the field to the other, and find me an ear of wheat that you think is the greatest and the best." But there is one condition: you can't go back, you have to go all the way to the end; And once the ears of wheat have been chosen, they cannot be replaced. As a result, Plato went all the way to the end and did not get a single ear of wheat. Socrates asked him why he didn't get a single ear of wheat. He said: "Every time I see a good ear of wheat, I always think that there is something better to follow; Sometimes I see a good one, but it's not as good as the one I just saw, so I'm not reconciled. "As a result, I didn't find the one I thought was the best. So once the opportunity comes, you must know how to seize it decisively. Seeking perfection, hoping for everything, often wanting nothing, wanting the best, often ending up with nothing. When the time comes, seize the opportunity decisively.