American social psychologistEverett HughesSaid: ".The main reason why others care about us so much is that there is an inherent uncertainty in our judgments about our own worth – our perception of ourselves depends to a large extent on what others think of us. Our sense of self and self-identity is completely conditioned by what those around us say about us. ”
Especially the evaluation of parents.
Susan Foward said, "The damage done by parents will go through the years and stick like a needle in the hearts of their children." ”
Adler said, "The lucky are all their lives, and the unfortunate are all their lives." ”
Therefore, as parents, giving children strong support at any moment when they need us is the most important thing for parents to do.
Trust your child unconditionally when they are questioned
Children are sensitive and fragile at heart, and they need our affirmation and encouragement to build self-confidence. We should tell our children, "You are the best, and I believe you can do it." "This kind of trust and support will make children more courageous in the face of difficulties and not give up easily.
This is a story about the famous scientist Albert Einstein.
When Einstein was young, he was once questioned and ridiculed. He was considered to be a strange child, not good at studying, and stammering a bit when he spoke. At one point, he was considered unteachable because he often asked questions that were difficult for teachers to answer.
However, Einstein's mother never doubted his talent and intelligence. She was convinced that her son was a special child, just different. She trusts him unconditionally, supports him, and encourages him to pursue his dreams.
With his mother's trust and support, Einstein eventually became a great scientist, and his theories made great contributions to the development of modern physics.
Xu JingyingIn the book "High Emotional Intelligence Parenting", it is written: ".If the child is not trusted by his parents, does not feel the love of his parents, and does not have the strength to grow, gradually, he will become unconfident, cowardly, inferior, and shrink and hesitate to do things. ”
The trust of parents is the best of children's inner security, and it is also the strength and pillar of children's brilliant growth. Only when the child feels trusted, can the child's heart be full of confidence and strength, and can he live up to expectations and grow into an optimistic and positive person who is not afraid of wind and rain.
Stand with your child when he disgraces you
It is not uncommon for children to make mistakes or make mistakes, but we should understand that this is the only way for them to grow. We should treat our children with tolerance and understanding, so that they can feel supported. In this way, children will be willing to open their hearts to us and face difficulties with us.
I remember hearing the story of a mother who took her child to a party. At the party, the child was mischievous and kept sabotaging, which made the mother feel very embarrassed and embarrassed.
However, the mother did not blame or punish the child for this. She chose to stand by the child, support him, and help him deal with the consequences. She apologized to the other parents and helped the child restore the atmosphere of the party.
On the way home, she communicates openly with the child, asks him why he behaves the way he does, and tells him that it is not advisable. At the same time, she also expressed her worries and concerns, hoping that the child can handle his behavior more maturely and rationally.
This experience made the child feel the trust and support of his mother, and also taught him how to deal with his emotions and behaviors correctly. He has become more confident and mature, and he has become more respectful and responsible.
When your child is not good enough, try to magnify your child's strengths
Xiao Ji is a child who does not study well and does not like to talk. However, Koji has many other virtues, such as that she is kind, helpful, and interested in art.
So, you see, a lot of times, it's not that the child doesn't have any strengths, it's that the parents can't see the child's strengths in their eyes.
Wei ShushengHe has spoken in many speeches about it:
"Successful education, in fact, is the simplest, that is, to discover the child's strengths, keep it, carry it forward, and work hard. ”
Every child has their own strengths and potentials. Identifying and nurturing these strengths and potentials is key to education.
Only by discovering the child's advantages and giving the child encouragement, can the child's natural advantages be taken into the heart, refined, rooted, and then deeply rooted.
When the child's roots are deeper and deeper, and the more confident they are, the top will continue to sprout, scatter new leaves, draw new branches, grow new flowers, and bear new fruits.
Therefore, the more the child is not good enough, the more we must strive to develop the child's strengths. Only by promoting strengths and avoiding weaknesses can we achieve children's lives.
So, don't bully your child, and don't help others bully your child. How parents treat their children is the key to their children's "despised" or "valued" themselves, and it is also the key to the success of parents' education.
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