I believe that every couple is happy and sweet in their hearts at the moment they enter the marriage hall! They are also full of beautiful imagination for the future!
However, the reality is always cruel, and many people end up with a sentence of "marriage is really the grave of love"!
Is it really that hard to have a good marriage? The answer, of course, is no.
In fact, a good marriage relationship needs to be managed, and management needs methods, and methods need to be learned!
So this book "The days are staggering, we are steady" will tell you how to manage a good marriage clearly!
Author: Wu Jikang
Publisher: People's Posts and Telecommunications Press.
A few words I like very much: What torments people in the relationship is not conflict, but boredom.
Winning or losing in the relationship, winning is also losing, from "me" to "we" is a kind of practice!
The book introduces several interesting concepts, namely the open source and throttling of love, the love account and the love currency.
A good marriage relationship is to use the open source method to save a little love currency in the love account.
Use the method of throttling to spend less love currency, effectively deal with the "expenses" caused by contradictions and conflicts, and make the love account continue to be stable and full.
About the "spending" of marital intimacy - contradictions and conflicts.
Criticism and accusation: Every criticism and accusation, every ridicule and contempt, is eating away at the intimate relationship between two people one bite at a time.
Mockery and contempt: The greatest harm often comes from the contempt of those close to you.
Self-justification: Communication ends in the same way as it begins.
Cold War Escape: The Cold War is also a war, but it is just a war without gunpowder, and there is no winner after the gun goes off.
Refuse to repair: Giving a step will only make the relationship cold to the freezing point.
Malicious interpretation: If there is no trust, there is nothing for intimacy.
These are also called by the author the six toxins in intimate relationships.
I believe that you in life, you must have experienced the harm caused by these toxins, the more these toxins in life, the less money in the love account will be, because every toxin will bring "expenses", so if you want to manage a good marriage relationship, the above behaviors must be done less!
The "open source" on the marriage management side - love and like.
Express affection, appreciation, and gratitude: In a good marriage, you must not be stingy in expressing your love, appreciation, and gratitude.
Respect and acceptance: When both parties are able to consider each other's needs and feelings, as well as our own, you and I become close to us.
Positive Response: True love is a safe and stable emotional connection and timely emotional response to each other.
Deep connection: The best way for a relationship is to explore bravely and grow with each other's support and encouragement.
A good marriage relationship must be managed by both parties!