When we were children, when we watched Qiong Yao dramas, we were always deeply moved by the love for the heroes and heroines in the play. When I grew up, I realized that TV dramas are TV series after all, and they are used for entertainment.
Love cannot be seen or touched, but it actually exists in the hearts of each of us. What exactly is true love? It seems hard to define, and everyone seems to have their own answer.
1. What is love?
In the book "The Road Less Traveled", the author's definition of love is: love is to promote the mental maturity of oneself and others, constantly expand one's own boundaries, and realize the willingness to improve oneself.
First of all, the object of love must be a human being, and only a human being has a mind. For example, if you love pets and love a cause, you spend time and energy on them, but you can't promote yourself and your mental maturity.
Secondly, love is the continuous expansion of self-boundaries and self-improvement, which means that love requires constant effort and action to help oneself and others grow, which also means that love is a long-term and gradual process.
Again, love is a kind of will, people must have the willingness to take the initiative to get better, in order to talk about love, no one can force anyone to be better.
2. What is not love?
None of this is true love :
1. Falling in love is not real love, it is just an illusion of love, and its role is to eliminate loneliness, not to promote spiritual growth.
2. The myth of romantic love is not real love, and romantic love is 108,000 miles away from real life.
3. Dependence is not love, and the more common language is: "I can't live without TA." "They see the loss of a partner as a horrible thing.
4. Self-sacrifice is not love, but to satisfy a certain need of oneself under the guise of giving and giving. For example, someone says, "I love you so much, how can you do this to me." "He is longing for love.
3. Love is action and giving.
The famous management guru Stephen Covey once came across an example. His trainees said to him, "I don't love my wife anymore. Covey said, "Then you should love her." ”
The student was puzzled, thinking that Covey didn't understand, and continued to repeat his words twice, and Covey continued to make the same answer: "Then you should love her." ”
In Covey's view, love is action, listening, giving, gratitude, and helping oneself and the other person grow.
1. Love is caring and listening.
If you love them, you will take care of them, listen to their feelings and thoughts, and help them grow. To love someone is to keep putting in the effort.
If a mother loves her child, she will care about her child's needs, learn parenting knowledge, and help her child grow. In fact, there are many parents who don't know how to listen to their children at all, and are just self-righteously controlling their children.
2. Love is giving and acting, which is inevitably accompanied by heartache and pain.
Jia Ling lost 100 pounds, her training volume was 3 times that of Yuan Hong, and she was so tired that she couldn't get up many times. Mothers love their children and are willing to give everything for them. If we love ourselves and become a better version of ourselves, we have to put in more effort.
3. Love is for self-improvement.
We truly love someone because we need to love someone else. We have children because we want them ourselves. We love our children because we aspire to be loving parents.
True love transforms people and is essentially self-expanding. Therefore, love is selfish in a sense, because what we seek is self-improvement.
Only by understanding what true love is, can a person learn to love himself before he can love others. A person who does not love himself can never love others.
So, from now on, love yourself well and become a better version of yourself. is just like Jia Ling sang in "Hot and Hot": Love yourself, everything is in time.
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