The Chinese New Year is over, and family reunion is the happiest moment. However, many parents are troubled by problems such as urging marriage and childbirth when facing their children. These problems are not only unpleasant for children, but also for parents.
Before the end of the year, the child said that he wanted to leave early, which made the parents feel angry and sad. So, why do parents face such problems? The reason for this may be that there is a problem with the way parents urge marriage and birth.
There is nothing wrong with parents wishing their children happiness and getting married and having children. However, parents need to adjust their ways and take a more appropriate approach to reach their goals.
Urging marriage is not the solution, but requires parents to make changes and adjust their rhetoric and ways to make their children feel comfortable and accepting. After all, the customer is God, and we also need to respect the feelings of children.
Urging marriage and giving birth, what is often used is this set of "routines": "Look at you, you are not young, people are as old as you, the children are in junior high school, and in a few years, your classmates will be grandparents, and you may still be playing singles" "When I was as old as you, you were in elementary school, look at you, what have you been mixed up for so many years, you haven't earned money, you haven't got married, I see what you should do when you're old?" ”
Giving birth is also this way: "You are not young, hurry up and give birth to one, while we are still young, we can still help you take care of the children, and when we are old, we can't help if we want to.......""You are young now, you only know how to play, who will take care of you when you are old?
Look at who is who, who has no children and no daughters all his life, how pitiful his life is? You have a good life, and when you are old, you have someone to call, why don't you understand these truths? ”
You don't give birth now, when you are old and want to give birth, you can't give birth, you regret it, how can there be regret medicine for you in the world? ”…Are these truths wrong?
No. There is definitely nothing wrong with the truth, but the problem is that he can't feel the reasons you said, you say that he has no children, and there will be no one to take care of him when he is old, and he is not old yet, how can he feel that kind of loneliness?
Just like a person, he is very rich now, and he is very able to earn, you tell him to save money and not spend money casually, can he listen to it? He couldn't listen to it, because he hadn't experienced a complete trough, encountered the embarrassment of having no money and debts, and encountered the white eyes of others and ignored him, so he knew the meaning of not spending money indiscriminately.
Your reasoning is good, but the child does not accept it, and it is not his fault. Because, if you think that it is his fault that your child does not listen to you, not only does it not solve any problems, but it makes a mess of the family relationship and makes you angry.
When faced with the problem of children not wanting to get married, we need to pay attention to the following points: First, we need to be calm, not to blame or make demands, but to build trust first like friends.
If you keep insisting that it's their fault that your children don't get married, then they may in turn think you're at fault, which will only make the situation worse. Second, you need to be clear about your point of view, but avoid using accusatory or threatening language.
For example, you can say, "I've also recently figured out that it doesn't matter if you don't get married or have children, you don't have to get married, you don't have to have children." ”
In this way, the child will feel that you understand them and that you are an enlightened parent. Finally, you need to take the time to build trust with your child. Trust is the foundation of anything.
If you can earn your child's trust, they will be more willing to listen to your advice and opinions. On the contrary, if you always push your children, they may rebel against you or even do things that you regret.
So, to make children trust you, you need to show them understanding and support, not criticism and accusation. In general, in the face of the problem of children not wanting to get married, we need to remain calm, respect their decisions, and try to understand their thoughts and feelings.
Only then can we build trust and help them make decisions that are best for them.
Child, have you ever thought about the chaos in your life? Without a regular life, chaos will only get worse over time. This is the law of increasing entropy, a law of physics that tells us that in an isolated system, chaos grows.
This applies not only to the physical world, but also to our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like not to go to work, not to work, not to get married, not to have children?
All of this can leave you in confusion and confusion, and you don't even know why you're living. But does that mean we should give up these options? Not. In fact, each of us has our own optimal solution for life, and this is the best option we can find.
Getting married, having children, or following some lifestyle routine may be the choice of most people, as it has proven to be the most effective solution. So, child, let's face the chaos of life together and find our optimal solution.
Whatever that choice is, as long as it's right for us, we can stick with it.
Talk to your child about "hope" and say, "Son, I have some new insights recently. I think that the most important thing for people to live in this world is hope.
With hope, everything is possible, without hope, everything is difficult. When we are young, we think that we have an infinite future and room to grow, but as we grow older, we begin to realize the certainty of life, feel that life becomes meaningless, and do not know what to pursue.
That's why we're having children. Although it is not expected that children can provide for you in old age, watching a small life gradually grow will make your middle-aged and elderly life full of meaning.
If you don't have children, you need to find a career that you can pursue all your life and treat it as your own child. Many great scientists and philosophers did not marry and have children, but their careers and the dissemination of knowledge were their children.
For those of us who are ordinary people, it is difficult to resist the nothingness of life. Once you fall into nihilism and start feeling that life is meaningless, you start feeling that life is not meaningful, and you will feel miserable.
Therefore, we need to instill hope in our children and make them understand that as long as there is hope, they can find meaning and direction in life. ”
Learn to let go, let children experience the impermanence of lifeLearn to love children, let them feel warm and caringChildren will encounter various challenges and difficulties in the process of growing up, but only by experiencing it, can they truly understand and experience the impermanence and complexity of life.
What we need to do as parents is to give our children enough support and encouragement to continue to explore and grow on their own path. At the same time, we also need to learn to love our children and let them feel the warmth and love of the family, so that they can have more confidence and courage to face the challenges of life.
Don't be too anxious about your child's future, they have their own choices and decisions, and we also need to respect and understand their choices. Let's relax together, enjoy life and have a good time with our children.