No one gets married for the purpose of divorce.
But I have to, when I get divorced for some reason, I will inevitably face some problems involving my ex-wife.
No one must want to marry a second-married man if he marries.
However, when you have to marry a man who is married for the second time, you will inevitably face some problems involving your ex-wife.
So, how does a woman who marries a second-married man deal with her husband's ex-wife?
This issue is a concern for many women. After all, the ex-wife of a second-married man is the person he once loved the most, and it is normal for them to not be married but still have some feelings. If it is not handled well, it can easily affect your marriage and family.
Here are a few suggestions for female friends, for reference only.
Don't get too involved in the relationship between your husband and your ex-wife. Between the husband and the ex-wife, there are their own feelings and stories, their past, and the present are inextricably linked, as a second wife, don't get too involved in their relationship. Respect their privacy, and don't express your opinions or opinions lightly, even if your husband is chatting with you.
Most ex-wives don't get along with their husbands' incumbents, and they will find various reasons to be critical of their incumbents. For example, they will use some of the current practices of the current child to question the current child abuse; For example, they will use some of the current remarks to play on the topic; There will even be a "I heard" out of nothing how the current one pretends to be kind to remind the ex-husband.
When you know these behaviors of your husband's ex-wife, don't quarrel with her. Remember in your heart and don't talk about it to your husband. It's a good time to take this opportunity to see what kind of attitude your husband has. Learn to control your emotions.
If you feel that some of your husband's ex-wife's behaviors have affected your and your husband's family, you should communicate well with your husband. Tell her about his ex-wife's behavior, and at the same time tell him how you feel and make him understand your difficulties.
Some ex-wives contact your husband every once in a while, as if the ex-husband is still on the job; Some use the child as an excuse to talk to your husband at length every time, and some even go to the door and talk about the child with your husband like the master of the house, making you, the real hostess, in a dilemma.
At this time, you should sit down and communicate with your husband well, let him know that his ex-wife's behavior has affected your family, and hope that he can make his ex-wife have a sense of scruples and proportions.
Don't feel that you are not good enough just because your husband's ex-wife criticizes you in one way or another. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. To believe in yourself, you must have a domineering attitude of "no matter how bad I am, your ex-husband chose me not you". Believe that you have the ability to make your husband happy and your family happy.
Care more about your husband and let him feel your love.
Why doesn't my husband know that his ex-wife always contacts him frequently for various reasons? But most people can't wipe their face, and they can't bear to refuse or say ruthless words. If you care more about him at this time instead of arguing with him, it will make him feel that you are empathetic and reasonable, and when he feels that you really love him instead of looking for trouble everywhere, he will cherish his marriage with you more.
Although the current wife understands the relationship and family that her husband and ex-wife once had, understands that they have to have some contact because of children or other things, and understands that her husband is reluctant to say too much "no" to his ex-wife, the current wife must have some boundary agreements with her husband, that is, the villain first and then the gentleman. Don't be embarrassed, all the scenes that are difficult to clean up initially have the factors of "embarrassed", "can't open your mouth" and "can't pull your face".
For example, when an ex-wife proposes to borrow money from her husband, she must make it clear to her husband that only part of the money in his name is allowed, and that it is not allowed to reduce or no longer pay the normal expenses of the family, and it is not allowed to use the money in the family account for lending money to the ex-wife. Prevent the husband from endlessly using the money from the family account again and again in order to lend money to his ex-wife, which will affect the normal life of the existing family.
For example, when an ex-wife says that she is in a bad mood and confides in her husband, she should make it clear to her husband that it is okay to once and a half times once in a while, but it is not okay to do it too many times. Divorce is a matter of two people, the husband also has a new family, and if the ex-wife often confides, it will also affect the harmony of the existing family.
For example, the ex-wife dragged her husband out many times on the grounds that the child was sick, the child was invited, the child missed his father, the child wanted a new toy, etc., indicating that the child was sick and the child did not study well was related to the improper care and education of the ex-wife. If the ex-wife contacts her many times for these reasons, she should make it clear to her husband that the child is two people, and the child can come to live with his father for a while and then send him back.
Let's work together
No matter how you get in touch and how to make excuses, after all, your ex-wife is just a part of your husband's past life, and your current life is a new starting point for each other to the future, to create your own happiness, you need to work together The various behaviors of your ex-wife are also a test for your husband to you and your new life, and your life will be happier and more satisfying if you stand this test, and if you can't withstand this test, either you and your husband have conflicts that lead to divorce, or they are noisy all day long.
You must believe that you have the wisdom, ability, and methods to deal with all kinds of troubles of your husband's ex-wife and make your marriage happier.