There is an old saying: you can't grow small trees under big trees, only weeds grow. Parents should not give their children too much shelter, which will hinder their children's development and stifle the possibility of their children becoming towering trees.
Educating children is a science, we must learn to manage, but also learn to endure.
In these 3 things, the more parents can "endure", the more self-disciplined their children will be.
Shinobuku:
The tone of the parents determines the luck of the child
The words of parents are the streetlights on the way of their children.
Parents speak clearly, gently and powerfully, and always keep their principles and bottom line, so that children have the confidence to move forward firmly.
On the contrary, parents who cannot speak are the greatest harm to their children.
In "Where Are You Going, Dad", Yang Shuo was on the hot search because he scolded the child.
No matter what the child does or how he does it, he doesn't like it, two of the three sentences are scolding the child, and he often sneers.
In the angry scolding of his father, the already sensible child became more and more inferior, cautious, and afraid of making his father angry.
Verbal violence by parents has the potential to leave a shadow in a child's life for a lifetime.
Remember last year, a5 words that parents hurt their children the mostThe topic is circulating on the Internet.
"Stupid: useless thing! ”Raise a child and scold him more.You look at others, and then look at you, they are all children, why are you so stupid! ”
You know how to play all day long, and what you can do when you grow up! ”
If I say no, I can't! ”
Shut up! Adults and children don't intervene much! ”
In fact, there are no disobedient children in the world, only parents who can't teach. We often say that children are "disobedient", because we resent children for not listening to themselves.
Adults like to set standards for children, believing that children are obedient if they do it, and disobedient if they can't do it.
But what the child really wants, parents don't understand, and rarely take the initiative to understand.
Parents who stand in the wrong place" will never have a day when they are satisfied with their children.
Cai Kangyong proposed in "The Way of Speaking": "What kind of words you say, what kind of person you are." ”
In the same way, what kind of words parents say, what kind of people children are.
If the parents are soft-spoken, the child will feel a strong sense of security;
If the parents are earnest, the child is willing to move closer to the parents;
If parents encourage them regularly, their children will gradually find confidence and courage.
When talking about the education of his daughter, Huang Lei said:
I never saw her as a child, she was a thinking person, she had her own ideas, we were independent of each other, and I respected all her thoughts. ”
The tone of a parent's speech determines the temperature of a home and changes the child's life.
Shinobi Hand:
The highest level of parenthood is letting go
Not long ago, I saw a hot search on Weibo:
A 30-year-old man wants to get married and has no money, so he asks his parents for money.
In order to buy a house for him, his parents borrowed debts everywhere, and finally scraped together enough 300,000 yuan.
When the wedding date was approaching, the man cried and fussed, spread out his palms and asked his mother for 60,000 yuan in bride price.
Although the mother felt sorry for her son, she really couldn't come up with the money, so she could only say: "Son, you are forcing your mother to die!" The man was indifferent and casually said, "Then you will die." ”
The mother finally broke down, jumped from the 5th floor, and died on the spot.
At that time, his father was still outside to borrow money for his son's bride price.
Raising a child raises a white-eyed wolf, all of which may be the bane planted by the parents.
There is a good saying: the road you take for your children will eventually become a pit.
When educating their children, many parents try to save trouble, either doing everything for their children, or spoiling their children to the limitless.
The former may raise a "giant baby" that can only gnaw on the old.
LikeThe 48-year-old returnee master's degree is at homeStudying abroad for two years lost 2 millionThe 17-year-old prodigy was dropped out of the University of Science and Technology of ChinaAnd so on, behind these events, there is a giant baby who has no ability to live, a pair of parents who do everything for their children.
The latter may raise a "white-eyed wolf" who will take revenge.
When a child is making a big noise in a public place, you say "he's still a child".
When a child wreaks havoc in someone else's house, you say "he's still a child".
So, when he punches and kicks you directly because you don't buy him a game console, will you still say "he's still a kid"?
Good children are all managed, and bear children are used to it.
Behind the rampant madness of every bear child, it is the bear parents who are conniving.
Parents should "hold back" and let their children do their own things, so that they can learn self-discipline.
American psychologist David Elkite once said: "Regardless of a person's living circumstances, parents need to give their children two things: roots and wings." ”
Proper letting go of parents is also a form of love. Parents who choose to let go pay more affection than restricting their children.
The best love for a child is to let him get rid of his dependence on others and become his true self.
Forbearance:
Visionary parents are a bit ruthless
I watched a show before about how mothers educate their children.
Xiaoyou's mother is very worried about the child's weight problem, and wants him to **, and has a **plan.
However, seeing that her son buys chicken tenders to eat every day after school, she just said lightly, "Let's eat less."
When he finished eating, his son still wanted to eat two chicken wings, and when he saw his face down, Xiaoyou's mother changed her words and said, "Exercise well, it's no problem to eat three."
There is no doubt that Xiaoyou's mother's ** plan for her son failed, and her son is getting fatter and fatter.
Parents' intolerance in educating their children is actually an evasion of responsibility.
When your child doesn't want to do his homework, you don't bother to care, so your child's grades get worse and worse;
When the child is unwilling to continue practicing, you relent, so when he grows up, he blames you for not forcing him to persevere;
When your child doesn't want to stick to good habits, you compromise, and bad habits will stay with you for life.
Children do not know how to be self-disciplined, but parents must be self-disciplined and disciplined well.
There are no children in the world who can't teach well, only parents who can't teach.
Sometimes, if parents can't push their children hard, they may regret it for the rest of their lives.
Liu Huan said that what he regretted most was not insisting on letting his daughter learn **.
He said that when his daughter was a child, she was very talented and loved **, and she was also very suitable for practicing the piano with her slender fingers.
If he could have forced his daughter at the beginning, maybe she would have achieved more now.
"Happy education" is good, but not all parents know how to implement it.
Parents who only know "happiness" and do not know "education" may ruin their children's future.
I remember that in the movie "Nezha's Demon Boy Reincarnation", Li Jing knew that his son could only live for three years, and he didn't want his son to live a short life happily like his wife.
"I don't want him to live his life in chaos," he said. ”
Parents love their children, and they should plan far-reaching.
But love is not indulgence, not spoiling, and not letting children only know pleasure, not hard work and hardship.
If you want your child to live a better life, you have to push him and bring out his full potential.
Suffer now, suffer for a while; In the future, I will endure hardships and endure for a lifetime.
The French writer Romain Rolland said: A person can only guide others, not walk for them.
Only by constantly nurturing their children can parents guide their children in the right direction and let them walk out of their own path to success in the future.