Youyou: Teacher, in order to make your in-laws happy and your in-laws are in charge, what should you do if you can't bear it for 15 years?
Sir: Whatever is right, it depends on what kind of life you want to live. We do not advocate kidnapping anyone, because whoever suffers, who knows. So it's your own choice, and life is about having some balance.
We often talk about the "golden mean", we can't pay too much attention to our own feelings, but we can't be too wronged by ourselves, we must know how to take the middle, and we can't run to an extreme. I don't feel any grievances, is it possible? There is no such thing, there is no such life. Then I have been wronged, can I stand it? Can you bear it?
Lao Tzu often tells us not to pursue the ultimate, "to ensure that this way does not want to be profitable". Studying the "Analects" also talks about "going too far", and it is not good to go too far, and it is not okay to go too far. So we have to learn to find some balance in our lives, rather than going on all the time.
One cannot pay too much attention to one's own feelings, but one cannot fail to pay attention to one's own feelings; We can't be too wronged by ourselves, but it's also impossible not to wronged ourselves; We need to care about others, but we can't care too much about others. We have to know how to please ourselves, but we can't indulge in pleasing ourselves, this is the way, we have to take it.
Whether we study the Analects, Mencius, the Mean, the University, or the Tao Te Ching, no one tells us to go to the dark on the same road. Do we have to hold ourselves back? That's not true; Do we have to grieve ourselves? That's not true; I can't let myself be wronged a little bit, this is not okay, just take the middle.
We must know how to constantly adjust in life, to achieve a comfortable oneself, others are also comfortable to a degree, how to explore by ourselves, to the whole, each family is different, there is no unified standard.