At night, the city was full of lights, and a friend's ** broke the silence, and his voice was full of helplessness and anxiety.
Her daughter, a smart child in her first year of high school, has not been interested in learning lately, and has become a stone in her heart. The friend tried all kinds of methods, from material rewards to stern warnings, but it seemed that they could not touch the string in the child's heart.
This scene must be familiar to many parents.
Every day and night, as parents, we are looking for the secret that can brighten up our children's eyes, but the answer always seems to be out of reach.
Familiar teachers often say that the ultimate goal of education is not to make children become learning machines, but to awaken their inner drive to learn. However, we often get lost in practice.
So how do you make children eager to learn from the bottom of their hearts without forcing or pressuring?
First and foremost, it's crucial to give your child enough autonomy in their learning.
Autonomy means that children learn at their own interests and at their own pace, rather than being driven by parental expectations. This is not to say that you give up on guidance, but rather leave room for your child to choose in the guidance. When children feel that their learning is motivated by their inner desires rather than forced by the outside world, their enthusiasm for learning will naturally be stimulated.
Companionship is more important than intervention in this process.
Many parents are accustomed to planning everything for their children, from homework to interest classes, and even the details of daily life, which virtually deprives children of the opportunity to learn and live independently. Children may gradually become dependent on their parents' arrangements and lose the ability to make decisions on their own.
To avoid this, we should encourage children to participate in decision-making so that they can make a difference in all aspects of their lives.
Research by psychologists has shown that extrinsic rewards do not motivate learning in the long term.
Conversely, when children learn because of an intrinsic sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, their interest and motivation are more enabled. Therefore, instead of inducing children to learn with material rewards, it is better to find and nurture areas that are truly of interest to them.
This requires parents to observe carefully, listen patiently, find the little thing that sparkles in their child's eyes, and then give appropriate support and resources.
Improving your child's ability to concentrate is also key.
For example, in an environment full of distractions, it is becoming increasingly difficult to stay focused. Parents can help their children focus on learning with less external distractions by creating a quiet and orderly learning environment. At the same time, making children feel safe and supported through companionship rather than supervision is essential to improve their learning effectiveness.
Finally, have an open conversation with your child about their interests and dreams, and then guide them step by step to understand what kind of knowledge and skills they need to achieve these dreams. This approach not only motivates children to learn, but also helps them build a plan for the future.
Awakening children's internal drive to learn is not something that can be achieved overnight, but requires careful observation, patient guidance and appropriate support from parents.
In an ordinary family, a mother looks out the window anxiously and sighs heavily, her daughter sitting at her desk, her eyes wandering.
Mother's heart, like the fallen leaves of this autumn, is full of helplessness and worry.
In this scene, we not only see a mother's anxiety about her child's lack of motivation to learn, but also can't help but think about a deeper question, that is:
How to stimulate children's internal motivation to learn and make them truly love learning?
In fact, stimulating internal motivation does not lie in external rewards and punishments, but in children's inner growth and self-identity.
We often say that interest is the best teacher. Indeed, when children have a visceral interest in something, they take the initiative to explore and learn. In this case, learning is no longer a burden, but a source of fun and fulfillment.
Experiments by psychologist Desi tell us that external rewards may briefly stimulate a child's enthusiasm for learning, but soon this enthusiasm will disappear.
The real and lasting motivation comes from the child's inner sense of accomplishment and interest in learning.
This requires us, as parents and educators, to pay more attention to the inner world of children to discover and cultivate their interests.
A key approach is to give children full autonomy in their learning.
Allow children to make their own choices as they learn, such as when to learn and what to learn. This autonomy allows children to feel that they are in control of their learning, rather than passively accepting it.
When children realize that their efforts can lead to change and achievement, their inner drive is stimulated.
For example, parents can set learning goals with their children. It's not the kind of high-level, unattainable goal, but small, concrete and achievable goals. Whenever your child achieves a small goal, give affirmation and encouragement.
In this process, children will gradually develop a sense of self-efficacy and believe that they are capable of achieving their goals. And this belief is the importance of children's internal drive.
In addition, the company of parents is also very important.
But this kind of companionship is not to intervene every time the child does something, but to support silently by the side, and only give help when the child needs it. Such an environment makes children feel safe and respected, and are more willing to experiment and explore.
At the same time, it is important to create a quiet, stress-free learning environment in the process of improving your child's concentration. Because parents are overly nervous and anxious, it will only distract their children and make them resist learning.
But a harmonious learning environment can make children more focused and engaged.
When the night falls, the street lights are on, and the lights of every household are gradually turned on, in this quiet and warm night, many families have staged similar scenes in the living room:
Parents sit around their children, either anxiously staring at the exercises in their hands, or softly persuading their children to study diligently.
This picture, perhaps in the eyes of many people, is a symbol of warmth, but in my opinion, it is a phenomenon worth pondering in education.
Because the essence of education should not only be for children to cope with the gains and losses of exams, but to awaken children's internal drive to learn, so that learning becomes an inner need and pursuit.
When talking about children's motivation to learn, we have to admit that many times, parents' kindness and anxiety become a source of stress.
As mentioned above, a mother rewarded and punished her daughter in order to improve her motivation to learn, but found that the effect was not satisfactory. This makes us wonder if our understanding of education is biased.
Are we focusing too much on the outcome and neglecting the emotional and psychological needs of the child in the process?
First of all, what is the essence of education?
Is it to nurture children to become independent thinkers and innovative people, or is it simply shaped into a product of exam-oriented education?
The answer is self-explanatory. However, in reality, parents are often prone to fall into the quagmire of grades and forget the deeper meaning of education. The educator Sukhomlinsky once said: "The purpose of education is not to defeat others, but to win oneself." ”
This sentence profoundly points out the true meaning of education, that is:
Stimulate children's inner potential and interests, and guide them to explore and learn independently.
Secondly, how to awaken children's internal drive?
This requires parents and teachers to work together to create an environment that encourages exploration and is tolerant of mistakes. When a child is interested in a certain area, parents should encourage him to go deeper** instead of blindly emphasizing grades. At the same time, parents should learn to listen and understand, set goals with their children, and not apply pressure unilaterally.
The point is that a child who is understood and supported is more likely to show strong internal drive.
Again, we should be aware that every child has different interests and areas of expertise.
The purpose of family education is to help them find their interests and develop on this basis. As the conversation between the father and daughter demonstrates, the passion and motivation of the child is stimulated by understanding and supporting the child's interests, and guiding them to understand the responsibilities and efforts associated with them.
Finally, we must recognize that education is not only the imparting of knowledge, but also the cultivation of emotions and values.
A warm and harmonious family environment, an educational attitude that encourages experimentation and experience, can plant the seeds of exploration of knowledge and the world in the hearts of children. It is only when children feel the joy and meaning of learning from the bottom of their hearts that they truly have a lasting and powerful motivation to learn.
To sum up, the highest level of education is for children to find themselves and realize their own value in the process of exploration and learning.
This is not only an expectation for children, but also a challenge and responsibility for every parent and educator. To awaken children's internal drive, we need to think outside the framework of performance and understand and support each unique individual with our hearts.
In the process, we may find that the true meaning of education is far more profound and rich than we think.