A case heard in a live broadcast room: a mother said that her child in the third year of junior high school is facing great pressure, and in an inadvertent small talk, the child revealed that he will quietly play with his mobile phone when we are not paying attention, although this behavior is restricted by us, he will find various ways to play with electronic products, such as mobile phones, watches, etc.
The children will bravely get out of the predicament and fight against us without fear of sacrifice, just so that "I" can enjoy that mysterious and exciting pleasure. That's the motivation that comes from within! This force is undoubtedly incomparably powerful.
The mother restricts the child from playing with mobile phones and pads, forcing the child to study, but in the end it turns into a "big war" of wits and courage. There is a saying that the solution to education is for parents to learn and grow on their own. The relationship between parents and children must not escalate into contradictions.
When it comes to children's internal drive, the key lies in restraint, and whenever restraint appears, it will inevitably give rise to a reaction force, which is internal drive.
Take a look at the idioms that describe diligent reading – chiseling the wall and stealing the light, taking care of the book, and so on. When people like Kuang Heng and Che Yin reach this state, as role models, their actions are not forced by their parents. The real internal motivation often comes from rules and restrictions, which may come from parents, teachers or the surrounding environment.
Therefore, many times, a child's intrinsic motivation for learning often stems from his resistance to rules or the need for self-growth. However, this kind of energy is definitely not generated by applying pressure, on the contrary, excessive pressure often triggers their disgust and disgust. And what you force them to do is often the last thing they want to do.