In March last year, when Emory University in the United States opened, Zhang Yide, a 19-year-old Chinese student, committed suicide in his dormitory, an incident that attracted widespread attention in China. People not only lamented his early death, but also became interested in his educational background.
It is understood that Zhang Yide has been dependent on his father since he was a child, and his father Zhang Yue is a famous blogger in the Guangzhou parenting circle. In Zhang Yue's education diary, he once wrote: "A father, a man who stands up to the sky, sacrifices his self-esteem for the sake of his children. ”
This passage deeply expresses paternal love, but it may also be the root cause of Zhang Yide's choice of self-destruction.
1.Zhang Yide's parents are both highly educated and high-income people, and his childhood life seems to be carefree, but his parents divorced at a very early age, and he spent his childhood under the care of his father.
2.Zhang Yide was born in Guangzhou, and his parents were highly educated and high-income people, living in a comfortable family environment. However, their marriage broke down when Zhang Yide was still very young, and his parents chose to divorce.
Although his parents loved him dearly, their marriage could not continue. In the end, after the court's ruling, Zhang Yide was sentenced to his father's custody. 3.Zhang Yide's childhood seems to be very happy, his parents are highly educated and high-income people, and they live in a large house in the Tianhe district of central Guangzhou.
However, their marriage broke down when Zhang Yide was still very young. Despite the fact that both his parents loved him dearly, they chose to break up. In the end, Zhang Yide was sentenced to be raised by his father, and his mother left the city center of Guangzhou to work in Suzhou.
Zhang Yue faced the dual pressure of working and caring for his children after the divorce, and although he was advised to find a nanny or remarry to share the pressure, he insisted that no one could be as attentive to his son as he was.
For the sake of his son, he chose to quit his high-paying job, leave the bustling city, sell his house in the city center, and move to the countryside to open a farm. His son became the focus of his life, and he even renamed his son "Yide Dad".
His decision, though difficult, is a reflection of his deep love for his son.
Zhang Yide believes that it is a blessing to be able to get his father's love in law. Although he grew up in the countryside, he lived a happier life than most city children.
Because his father, Zhang Yue, can be called a "perfect father". Whether in life or spiritually, he cares for his son in every detail. The food that Zhang Yue cooked for his son has never been repeated in ten years.
Landscapes from a trip, a special day, and even a toy can be inspiration for him to demonstrate his cooking skills. Whether it's the beautiful scenery of the small bridge and flowing water, the stadium of the World Cup, or the jungle where wild elephants roam, he can make a variety of fresh and interesting meals, delicate and interesting.
The life of father and son in the countryside is the best memory of Zhang Yide's life. Zhang Yue never refuses his son's request, and he is willing to accept and support all his son's interests.
For example, when Zhang Yide developed a passion for football, he built a football field on the farm so that his son could enjoy football to the fullest.
In order to meticulously preserve his son's memories of growing up, Zhang Yue did not hesitate to lose five cameras and took more than 2 million life photos. In addition, he also set up a special Zhang Yide Memorial Hall, which is full of various commemorative items of Zhang Yide, such as the first silverware, the first toy, the first painting, etc., which has extremely high commemorative value.
While respecting children's interests, Zhang Yue has also made great efforts to cultivate children's intellectual development and life ability. Zhang Yide's parents are both high-IQ scholars, and he inherited their excellent genes and showed extraordinary wisdom since he was a child.
Zhang Yue broke through the age limit and planned his son's education early. Zhang Yide began to learn English when he was 3 years old, initially by conversing with his father in English and using things in life to improve his vocabulary.
Soon after, Zhang Yue cut vegetables into 26 letters and taught children to spell English. By the age of 4, Zhang Yide was able to communicate with his father in English by hand.
In Zhang Yue's educational philosophy, he not only pays attention to cultivating children's independent living ability, but also attaches importance to letting children understand the meaning of making money. From the age of four, he began to teach him to do housework, and when he was eight years old, he was able to cook a table of dishes on his own.
At the same time, he will also let his children follow him to repair the cars of nearby neighbors, and even go up the mountain to pick up scraps for money. Under his guidance, Zhang Yide understood from an early age that making money is not only to satisfy his shopping desires, but also to help those in need.
At school, he bought a small medicine box to serve the little ones in need.
Zhang Yue is Zhang Yide's "ideal father", and his education method may seem a little rushed in some aspects, but in fact, precocious geniuses are common. Just like those children who become the top students in the college entrance examination at the age of thirteen or fourteen, their success is not accidental.
Although Zhang Yue lived a hard life in the countryside, in order to let his son receive a bilingual education, he resolutely sent his children to a private international school in Guangzhou, with an annual tuition fee of nearly 200,000 yuan, which exhausted his savings from selling his house.
However, Zhang Yue did not despair about this, he had his own way to make money. He recorded his daily life with his son, wrote thousands of articles and posted them on the Internet, and with Zhang Yide's successful case, he quickly became popular in the Guangzhou parenting circle, attracting the attention of millions of fans.
He transformed his farm into a children's playground with a craft room, a football field, a fish pond and a vegetable patch to provide a happy learning environment for children, attracting many parents to bring their children to experience.
At this time, Zhang Yide was often invited by his father to attend, although he was a little shy, he was willing to share his growth experience, and every time he appeared, it could be seen that he enjoyed the interaction with his father and fans.
For Zhang Yide's academic performance, Zhang Yue never pursued too much, and even because his son was precocious, he had completed the study of the course content before going to primary school, and Zhang Yue also reminded his son to cherish school life and not to care too much about rankings.
Zhang Yue attaches more importance to his son's independence and knowledge, and encourages him to go out and see the world since he was a child. At the age of 11, Zhang Yide traveled alone, bought his own tickets, planned his route, and spent 20 days visiting the water towns in the south of the Yangtze River, during which he firmly kept his distance from his father.
After entering junior high school, Zhang Yi was deeply liked by teachers and classmates with his super high IQ and independent personality, and he often introduced his admirable father to the people around him, so he won the envy of many people and made Zhang Yue gain a group of fans.
On Zhang Yue's birthday, Zhang Yide went home with a group of classmates and prepared a birthday banquet together, which made Zhang Yue grateful. But the world is impermanent, and before he could graduate from junior high school, Zhang Yide encountered an incredible thing, his good friend died suddenly, which made his heart feel like a thorn in his heart, full of doubts about life.
For the sake of Zhang Yide's mental health, his father discussed with his ex-wife and sent him to an international school in Suzhou.
In Suzhou, Zhang Yide's light is still bright, but his inner troubles have always been with him. Throughout, Zhang Yide knew that there was a problem with his mental state, and in order to divert his attention, he studied day and night, and finally won the third prize in the Duke University math competition.
In addition, he is actively involved in various activities of the school and has achieved remarkable achievements in debate competitions many times. In order to relieve his inner pain, he even participated in bicycle races and football matches, using his physical exhaustion to soothe his psychological wounds.
Zhang Yide is passionate about motorcycle driving and has obtained a professional qualification certificate. To make him happy, his mother bought one for him. He didn't ride a bike for the thrill of the fast, but chose to use a motorcycle to escort the ambulance.
Still, he didn't really understand the value of life. He once revealed to his high school classmate Ai Li: "If I die one day, I hope to be buried on the mountain in Guangzhou." ”
This may have been since then, he has had the idea of suicide.
In 2019, Zhang Yide turned 18 years old, and he was determined to go abroad and began to prepare for applying to foreign schools. With his English education from an early age, he easily scored 118 points on the TOEFL test, including perfect scores in reading and speaking, and then decided to take on the more difficult American SAT test.
The SAT test is held seven times a year, and there is no test center in Chinese mainland, Zhang Yide decided to go to Hong Kong alone to take the test, and in order to achieve his goal, he took the test a total of four times, and the last time was only two points away from the perfect score.
After going through ups and downs, he applied to Emory University, a top research university in the United States, without any suspense.
The university is known for its business and medicine, and many people thought that Zhang Yide would definitely choose a popular major, but he chose the seemingly insignificant "philosophy".
The search for life never stops, and both the rich and the common have questions about their existence. For geniuses, they feel pleasure and pain more acutely.
Zhang Yide's pain stems from the death of his friend, and he has been immersed in thinking about the world of life ever since. In fact, most people choose to divert their attention when faced with stress, but Zhang Yide's life situation gives him enough time to pay attention to his inner world. ”
Zhang Yide's IQ is outstanding, and he has been unimpeded all the way in his studies. The reason why he was able to study step by step was because his parents cared more about his happy growth than his grades.
He had a smooth journey, winning full scholarships for high school and college. Although he took the SAT four times, his goal was to get the best score. Thanks to his father's careful upbringing from childhood to adulthood, he was able to solve almost any difficulty in life independently.
He lives an easy life without any stress. His father, Zhang Yue, is omnipotent and keeps his life in order, and his mother is rich and has another family, so he doesn't need to worry about it.
The tragedy of Zhang Yide is that his life is too smooth and too light, which deprives him of the opportunity to truly experience life and cannot perceive the value of life. He is like an overly prominent tree, always ravaged by the wind"Excellent"This label may be his shackle, preventing him from finding the direction and purpose of his life.
Although he sought philosophical answers, in March 2021, the spread of the global pandemic prevented him from finding answers from life, and his mental state became even more depressed.
After returning to school, Zhang Yide once posted a circle of friends with the content of "Life goes on", which seems to be the last struggle in his life. On the 5th, he resolutely chose to end his life and no longer be nostalgic for this world.
After Zhang Yue on the other side of the ocean learned the news, he fell into a deep trance. In Zhang Yue's heart, his son has always been a smart and brave teenager, and he never thought that the final result would be like this.
This incident made him age a lot overnight, and he did not eat for several days, and finally his good friend took the initiative to accompany him and take care of him.
Zhang Yue and his son Zhang Yide have been dependent on each other for more than ten years, and he has devoted himself wholeheartedly to the upbringing and education of his son, and his love for his son is deeply rooted in the bone marrow. However, when his son died, he couldn't accept this fact, so he could only ask his ex-wife to handle his son's funeral.
He ultimately decided not to pick up his son's ashes and instead let Zhang Yide stay in the United States forever, which may have been a way for him to escape the reality of his son's death. In a letter to the faculty and students of Emory University, he expressed his recognition and respect for his son: "He is very smart, he knows his choice, and I will respect him as always." ”
Zhang Yue's strict education style is often cited as the culprit that led to Zhang Yide's tragedy, but this is clearly a misunderstanding. Zhang Yide once said that if there was an afterlife, he hoped to be his father's son again, which showed the deep affection between him and his father.
In fact, if we dig deeper into Zhang Yide's upbringing, we will find that his father has always respected his choice and never forced him to be excellent. As he once said, "I respect him more than myself." ”