Netizens' thoughts:
My boyfriend wants to give me an IP15 installment in Alipay, I think it's a little tight that he hasn't paid his salary recently, and I don't want him to get it, so I just said directly, you don't have the money and still want to buy it for me, isn't it a little hurtful, what should I say now?
My answer :
Sometimes the truth is revealed, and it is a good thing to confess to the other party what you have in mind, but sometimes it may be self-defeating, especially when the other party is full of enthusiasm or really wants to buy you this mobile phone, you come to such a sentence may catch the other party off guard, will make the other party think more, feel that you are disgusting the other party, and do not understand the intention behind you say this sentence, you are distressing the other party, so this situation, My suggestion is to explain to the other party in a tactful and gentle tone, why don't you want the other party to buy you a mobile phone? It's about having a reasonable explanation, and then making one of your voices clear so that he understands what you really mean.
Then let the other party see what your real intentions and intentions are, let the other party understand your hardships, understand your insincerity, you do this completely to feel sorry for the other party, completely for the other party's consideration, consider the other party's economic problems, so let's not buy it first, we must let the other party see and feel your ulterior motives, understand that you are really very important, so it may turn the conflict into a jade silk, so be patient and gently explain to the other party.
Maybe through this incident, the other party may be more impressed with you afterwards, and will continue to consolidate and warm up your intimate relationship to become stronger, through this matter you understand the other party's distress is to stand in the other party's perspective and position, put yourself in the other party's shoes, and then the other party also understands your hardships, so as to reach a tacit understanding and consensus, so if the two hearts are standing in the same position, the heart will definitely be stronger than gold, So it might make the two of you like each other more and more.
Netizen replied:
He just thought about it too much, I explained it to him well, and he said this: My problem, I really can't buy it now, I'm sorry for you. He said that he just let me see it first, and didn't say anything else, but the change of mobile phone was told to me before, I just felt that his funds were a little tight recently, so I said that, but I didn't expect him to feel inferior.
My reply :
I have to admit that many boys still want face, especially in front of their intimate relationships and their partners, and they want to be more face-saving, and they really want to be appreciated, affirmed and appreciated by each other. So when you say something to the other party that makes the other party feel frustrated, the other party will definitely feel a little wronged, but this kind of grievance is more like a coquettish mood, if you can understand the other party, then the more the other party is like this, the more it represents your relationship, or your quarrel, this episode, will be more conducive to the promotion of your intimate relationship and the warming of feelings.
You can also understand the other person, and you can also patiently soothe the other person's emotions, which will make the other person feel very comforted psychologically, which will make him feel happy. Although you have been holding a straight face now, but ah is not really making a straight face, so you still have to continue to patiently appease the other party's emotions, and make persistent efforts to let the other party see your original intention, your starting heart is not what he thinks, so it is really important to be considerate and caring, so it can make him disintegrate the righteous indignation in his heart.
You are not torturing each other, torturing each other will damage the intimate relationship between two people will scratch two people, your episode this time is more like an oolong incident, that is, the other party is full of blood to buy you something, and then you didn't think much or didn't think about it and said something that made him feel pierced, but your original intention was not like this, at this time you explained to the other party, the other party was a little emotional at this time, and it was normal to complain a little bit, At this time, you can patiently appease his little emotion, you come and go, and you can make this matter disappear very well.
After the smoke disappears, your intimate relationship will be more heart-warming than Jin Jian, will be more harmonious, more mellow, this episode is also a kind of run-in test in a sense, in the face of this kind of episode, how do two people solve the problem? Is it that both people ignore each other's emotions, don't understand each other's emotions or patiently appease, take the initiative to accommodate and compromise some emotions with each other, and can see that the other party is indeed a little sad, which can be a good test.
If you want to pass and want not to fail, you must give him more emotional value, so that the other party can see that you care about him, so that you can talk to comfort you who don't understand his trauma, which will make the other party look at you with admiration, and then have the feeling of forgiving you, you come and go, and the courtesy is still exchanged, then this little episode will be calm and will take a step back, and when the storm passes, the rainbow will come out, and at that time your intimacy will definitely heat up, believe me.
Netizen replied:
The two of us seem to get closer after every fight, that's what he told me, and I felt it, and he said, he doesn't want to talk about this topic anymore, how can I tell him.
My reply :
There is a saying that love can not withstand all difficulties, what can withstand all difficulties is that two people in the encounter, when they encounter troubles and problems, how to solve them, in the process of solving the two people are like-minded and like-minded, two people can reach a consensus, can consider each other can consider each other, and then this compassionate heart, mutual understanding of the heart can win all difficulties. Therefore, the reason why the two of you feel more intimate after every quarrel is because both of you understand each other, respect each other, think about each other from each other's perspective and position, will not put each other aside, will not be cold and violent to each other, this is the reason.
Because you are at fault first, it's not that you're really at fault, but he thinks you're at fault and he thinks you don't understand yourself, so in the current situation, I suggest that you write a small essay to the other party a little bit to explain your insincerity, to explain your hardships to explain his incomprehension of you, so that he understands, feels your intentions, and feels your intentions, not what he thinks, so sometimes writing a small essay is a good thing, as long as the other party can accept it, And face it squarely, that writing a small essay is not a useless thing to blindly affectionate and true, so why write him a small essay, I believe he will read it?
Netizen replied:
He thought about it a lot, and he wouldn't even read it when he wrote a small essay, he told me before.
My reply :
If you don't know how to read it, I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing, it's enough to show that the other party is not a particularly delicate person, if the mind is particularly delicate, he will definitely grasp these details, and he will definitely be strict with you, according to his standards to measure whether you have done it, you love me, you don't do it is not love me, then he won't look at it, it is obvious that he is not this kind of person, if the other party is the kind of big grin, the past is not to blame, If you are the kind of person who has a large heart, then I suggest changing the topic, you can pass it over, and in the follow-up relationship, you can make up for the small episode that happened today.
Netizen replied:
I should change the subject now, right, I just asked him if he had eaten, he hasn't returned, could it be that he wants to stay for a while or something.
My reply :
Give each other a little personal space, and it may be self-defeating to take it step by step.
Netizen replied:
Harm, I always feel that he thinks too much, but I don't know how to say it, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that, I really didn't think about it at that time, I said it, I feel a little sad to your heart, I don't know how to say it, but I know that this time I said it wrong, you want to give me good, but what I think is within your ability, I said so, my problem, I really can't buy it now, I'm sorry for you. Here's how he replied to me.
My reply :
At this time, the other party is obviously angry and has not disappeared, the other party is deliberately holding a straight face to give you a good color, so I suggest that you still continue to provide emotional value to the other party, provide emotional value to continue to comfort, comfort the other party's psychological trauma, may not be able to be completed in a while, don't be limited to tonight, you have to coax it, maybe the next day the other party may take the initiative to come to you, this is not possible, so now temporarily give him a little personal space, Let him be quiet and think about it, if you continue to do it step by step now, it may be self-defeating to want to reconcile with the other party immediately.
If the two love for a long time, how can it be in the morning and twilight? Now you should say, what you should do is already perfect, mellow and thoughtful, then you just have no remarkable, he is not picky about you, you can do things well and beautifully, the rest of him will let him reminisce by himself, he can think about it by himself, give him a night to think, maybe the weather will disappear tomorrow, and he will be able to calm down, you know? Because it's not like you've done nothing, you've done what you should have done, and you've said everything you need to say.
Of course, you must know the other party's character best, you don't get along with each other for a day or two, you don't quarrel once or twice, why can each quarrel be reconciled as before, there must be a reason, how to solve it before, and now still take the previous solution to solve it, although the reasons for each quarrel are different, but they are all the same, and they are all uneven, right? Therefore, patience is very important, don't always be so step-by-step, immediately want to reconcile as before, calm and calm, this may not be realistic, because everyone has a different amount of heart, some people are angry for one day, and some people may be angry for three days.
Netizen replied:
Then I won't send him a message tonight or ask again at night, I saw that he sent a little red book, but he didn't reply to my WeChat.