How many behaviors of parents PUA children have you hit?
1 Suppression. Devaluing the child's abilities and personality.
You can't do this little thing, you.
What can I do in the future?"
2 Kidnapping. Inspire the child's guilt and use the grace of parenting to kidnap morally. "How can you go to college so far away and don't want mom and dad"
3 Sell badly. Emphasize your dedication. "Don't you study hard and be worthy of me and your dad working hard every day?"
4 Threats. Deprive a child of love or something important. "Stop me, and if you cry again, your mother won't want you"
5 Comparisons. Always compare children to other people. "xxx study so well, work so well, look at others, and then look at yourself, it's not promising"
Most of our parents, whether intentionally or unintentionally, behave more or less of the above. Many times they complain that children are not motivated to learn and what they can't do, and it is often these PUA behaviors and complaints that deprive children of motivation. A child who is not seen will never be motivated. Good parents only do one thing to keep finding their children's good, while stupid parents only do one thing to keep finding fault with their children.
What is the greatest merit of a parent?
The greatest merit of parents is to raise their children to be normal people. How much a child can achieve in the future and how much he can contribute to society is the effort of several generations of a family, not a decision made by the child alone. Children's growth is a process, and ability is gradually cultivated, and now many parents have too high expectations for their children, which are already higher than their children's abilities. Parents begin to become anxious and stressed, and these anxieties and stresses are transferred to the child, forming a vicious circle. Parents should lower their expectations, give their children enough time and space, and follow their growth rules so that they can grow up healthy and happy.
The wisdom and art of education
The wisdom and art of education is to show weakness, and the weakness here is not to let parents wronged themselves to please their children, but to use wise actions and words to stimulate children's internal drive, so that children have the ability to act. For example, don't do everything in life, let your child do it, and cultivate your child's self-care ability. For example, on the weekend, you can tell your child: "Mommy has been a little tired from work lately, tomorrow Mommy wants to take a nap and rest, and my son will make breakfast for Mommy, and I believe my son can do it." "When the child finishes it, whether it is good or bad, he must learn to praise. The more your child boasts, the better he can do! The more you believe in your child, the more your child will be worthy of your trust!
There is no other education, only love and example.
Parents have to grow up to keep up with their children, there is time to suffer if there is no time to learn, and there is time to be poor if there is no time to progress.
Homeschooling