In the two months since coming to Weijia Pediatrics, Kong Lifang, a developmental and behavioral pediatrician, has given more than 40 children sand table games**. She has become a good friend of these children and a good "comrade-in-arms" of parents.
When it comes to sand table games, Kong Lifang is like talking about her own children, she has been engaged in sand table games for nearly 10 years, accumulating more than 10,000 hours. With every 1 hour of investment, Kong Lifang understands more about "children", and also understands the psychology and situation of children today.
Children love to play games, and unlike verbal preaching, 'sand play' is a 'non-verbal' game. It has the dual functions of 'game and psychoanalysis', which comes from the game but is much higher than the game. ”
In the sand table game, the child can help him understand his inner world and regulate his emotions by constructing his imaginary world; Promote children's verbal expression, imagination, creativity, observation and visual comprehension; It can also improve children's self-confidence, improve their own character, and improve their interpersonal and cooperation skills.
This is because in the eyes of children, everything has a life, a soul, and a conversation, just like people. When the doll falls to the ground, the baby will ask the doll distressedly: "Are you in pain, you have to be careful!" ”。Similar dialogues can be seen everywhere in sandbox games.
Sandbox games are good 'relationship' and 'love'. When the children are playing, Kong Lifang does not evaluate or analyze, with loving companionship, waiting for the flowers to bloom, she is "seeing and responding" to the children in a high-quality way. This is also why so many children who once kept silent about their parents and behaved radically, when they came to Kong Lifang, they slowly took off their guards, opened their hearts, and finally told their hearts.
Yaya (pseudonym) is a junior high school girl, and since she "upgraded" her sister, she will quarrel with her parents if she is slightly unhappy. Yaya thinks that parents are hypocritical, and this society is also hypocritical. Slowly, the relationship between Yaya's classmates became strained, her academic performance was declining, and she became depressed and had to take a break from school at home. Mom had no choice but to come to Weijia Pediatrics to seek help from Kong Lifang.
*, Kong Lifang learned that Yaya's parents did not ask her opinion when they wanted a second child, and their attitude towards her was different after having a younger brother, and she felt that her parents had a patriarchal mentality. Therefore, when she came home and saw her younger brother, she felt an unspeakable anger, her parents are like this, can her classmates and friends still believe it?
But her mother thought that for Yaya's study, they actually poured more into her, and let her study at the teacher's house to help her with her homework, but she just couldn't understand it.
Children, like adults, need respect and freedom, and need to be seen and heard. Communication is important, and it's always true in any relationship. ”
After a period of psychological counseling, Yaya has now become friends with Kong Lifang who talk about everything, and her mood is obviously much calmer, and her mother is very grateful to her.
Weijia Pediatrics, Developmental Behavior, Pediatrics, Kong Lifang. The above ** by Quan** reporters Sun Ye and Tan Hao).
The close combination of Kong Lifang and the sand table game is also a coincidence. Kong Lifang is the former chief physician of the Child Health Center of Liuyang Maternal and Child Health Hospital and the leader of the cognitive psychology department, engaged in child health care, developmental and behavioral pediatrics for more than 30 years.
At the end of 2011, the "Maternal and Child Health Discipline System Construction" project jointly sponsored by the China Maternal and Child Health Association and the Beijing Medical Network Center was promoted and applied in the national maternal and child system. Kong Lifang's hospital was fortunate to be selected as the first batch of pilot units, and the developmental and behavioral specialty (cognitive psychology specialty) was the focus of children's health care, so she became a member of the expert group of "China's maternal and child health care discipline system construction, application and promotion", participated in the formulation of industry work standards, implementation, promotion and application and other specific work, and completed the compilation of the "Cognitive Psychology Specialist Work Manual".
In this process, in order to further improve and enrich the means of developmental behavior and improve the pre-effect, Kong Lifang took the lead in introducing the technology of children's sand table game in Hunan Province for the diagnosis and treatment of children's developmental and behavioral problems. "It has been proven that the sand play ** technology can indeed help children with ADHD, depression, autism, learning difficulties and other problems that many drugs cannot solve, which has been recognized by experts and favored by peers. ”
Coincidentally, Weijia Pediatrics also carried out a sand table game in 2019**, but due to the interference of multiple factors such as the impact of the epidemic, it has not been carried out ideally.
In 2023, Kong Lifang met Weijia Pediatrics through a friend, "I am not old, I am in good health, and I hope to continue to do something for children's health services after retirement." Although Weijia Pediatrics is a private organization, its strategy, goals, and concepts are very leading, so that all children are less sick, not sick, and healthier physically and mentally, which is the spring of our children's health care. The sand table game here is also waiting for me to reawaken, the children are calling me, and the beautiful childhood is waiting for me to guard, why should I not come? ”
As a specialist in child health care, especially developmental and behavioral pediatrics, Kong Lifang has clearly felt that children's psychological and behavioral problems are becoming more and more complex at present.
Xiaowei (pseudonym), a third-grade primary school student, has difficulty concentrating in class, coping with sloppy classwork, and procrastinating on homework, often failing to complete it. The academic performance in the first and second grades was still barely good, but now it is regressing more and more. The mother regards the child's academics as very important and feels that grades mean the fate of the child. So she quit her job, tutored the children at home, and devoted all her time and energy to Xiaowei's study, finding a lot of materials to help him, and strictly supervising him to do his homework every day, so that his grades were barely passable. But Xiaowei is sometimes doing his homework with tears in his eyes, and even has a feeling of boredom with school, and he is very afraid of his mother at home, and his mother is very sad.
Through the sand table game**, Kong Lifang slowly learned that Xiaowei showed that he was bored with his mother because he felt that his mother only cared about his homework and study, and she never asked him why he was not attentive in class and unhappy at school?
Schoolwork is indeed essential for a child's development, but it's not all there is to growth. In early childhood, parents pamper their children, and as they grow up, they become friends. When the child grows up**, the parents are getting older, and they need the care and respect of the child. The parent-child relationship is a sacred emotional blend and trust, which is the basis for maintaining the child's academic achievement, and do not trample on the parent-child relationship with any unnecessary and excessive pressure. Kong Lifang was very touched by this.
Kong Lifang told reporters that her mother had no culture, and when she was very young, let alone tutoring homework, her mother didn't even know a few words, but every time she wrote homework, her mother would accompany her. In the spring, her mother put the soles of shoes beside her, and the shoes of the six sisters in the family were all made by her mother with stitches and threads; In the summer, her mother used a fan to catch mosquitoes for her by her side, so that she was cooler and could concentrate more on her homework; In the fall, my mother prepared winter clothes for her brothers and sisters with woolen yarn; In winter, my mother always pays attention to the charcoal fire under the table to prevent her from getting cold and freezing.
Many people use their childhood for a lifetime, but there are also people who use their childhood for a lifetime. My mother used my childhood to ** my life, and now I also want to do my best to let the children be heard and seen in this small world of the sand table, in this free and protected space, fully enjoy the benefits of the game, and explode their own 'small universe', so as to warm and even ** their long life path. Year after year, the kerosene lamp that lit up her study also reflected the love of her mother for her and for this family. This silent companionship, but always "advised" her never slack, guided her to swim in the endless sea of learning, and also gave her the most important childhood memories in her life.