Approaching the Spring Festival, there is a festive and peaceful New Year atmosphere everywhere.
But have you noticed that on the festival that should be a family reunion, many couples are not only not harmonious as they imagined, but are reborn in contradictions.
No wonder some people say:Whether the marriage is good or not, you will know in the New Year.
Marriage is never a matter of two people, and after marriage, the firewood, rice, oil, salt, human relations, eating, drinking, and Lazar of the two families are all testing each other's relationship.
Especially during the Chinese New Year, red tape and etiquette are piled up, which tests the cooperation of both husband and wife, as well as the wisdom of managing feelings.
Those happy, sweet, smooth and peaceful couples have mostly done these three things.
I have a friend next to me, Sister He, who met her husband in Shenzhen and has been married for five years.
When the two of them were in Shenzhen, although they were not rich, they were also sweet and happy. Her husband is very considerate to her and often brings her gifts on business trips.
But Sister He never expected that the first time she returned to the Northeast for the New Year, the marriage would directly light up the red light.
Since stepping into the house, she has been like a nanny for the whole family, doing everything, and only she does everything:
She had to prepare the meals at home;
The hygiene of the room, she has to clean;
The guest's tea and dessert, she had to add;
She has to supervise the child's homework, ......
As for the husband, he has been nesting on the sofa since he got up, either watching TV, or playing with his mobile phone to grab red envelopes, and his hands are not touched by housework.
Even in the thirtieth year of the Chinese New Year's Eve, only she and her mother-in-law were busy, sometimes wanting her husband to help wash the dishes, and in the blink of an eye, there was no shadow.
For several days in a row, it was like this. The men were full of food and drink, making tea and playing cards in the back room, laughing and laughing, but Sister He was alone with the air conditioner outside to fetch water, and endured the pain of chilblains on her hands.
Sister He was full of grievances, and wanted to find her husband to complain, but he was very impatient, thinking that going home was a vacation, and he should be the shopkeeper of course:
I finally took a break to rest and rest, what's wrong with it, I ...... tired of babbling all day long”
At that moment, Sister He was disheartened and couldn't help but wonder: "Why did he suddenly change as a person?" ”
To be honest, I quite understand Sister He's feelings.
As a woman, you already need to take on more housework in the family, as well as take care of the elderly and children.
Once it comes to the New Year's holiday, you need to pay more time and energy for all kinds of trivial matters.
If there is a husband who shakes off the shopkeeper at this time, under all kinds of exhaustion and pressure, the emotions accumulated on weekdays are easy to explode at this time.
It's no wonder that some people say that having a good time during the festival is a burden, and having a bad time is a burden.
But what about the Chinese New Year?
A good marriage is inseparable from two people working together, and in the same way, family responsibilities are not divided between you, me, and him.
With more understanding, more sharing, and more empathy, the small family will be happy and happy, and the days will be more comfortable.
Chinese society has always been about human feelings and relationships. And Chinese-style human affection is often mixed with emotional moral kidnapping.
Netizen An An once complained about his personal experience.
Her husband works in a bank. Every year when I go home for the Chinese New Year, many relatives, friends or distant relatives who are doing business come to visit, hoping that An An's husband can help them successfully borrow money.
At last year's Spring Festival party, An An's aunt said that she wanted to open a breakfast shop, but she didn't meet the conditions for bank loans, so she wanted to find them to go through the back door.
The elders spoke in front of so many people, and An An couldn't refuse, so she agreed despite her husband's black face.
Unexpectedly, the aunt kept dragging on and refused to repay the money, and the loan became a bad debt in the hands of An An's husband.
He accused An An of not agreeing at that time, condemning their relatives for their bad character, and An An also pulled out the rotten sesame seeds of the man's relatives in a fit of anger, and the two quarreled.
As the saying goes, "If there are many affairs, it will make people dream; and when he speaketh much, he reveals foolishness."
The more things happen, the more disagreements you face, the more conflicts and quarrels you have.
During the Chinese New Year, the pressure brought by relatives giving New Year's gifts and interpersonal comparisons will completely explode at any time. For example:
Who should be invited to dinner first? What is the right gift for the other party to give an expensive gift? How much should a red envelope be wrapped? How to distribute the New Year's goods to my in-laws fairly?
These problems, like one game after another, test not only the ability of the husband and wife to solve the problem, but also whether the husband and wife are united and have the ability to manage the marriage.
After all, more important than romance, marriage is more about patience with daily chores and an attitude of proactive communication when encountering problems.
Otherwise, no matter how good the relationship is, it will gradually fade away in trivial matters, and the two hearts will gradually drift apart.
The famous writer Mo Yan didn't understand why adults not only didn't like the New Year, but also feared the New Year when he was a child.
It wasn't until he grew up that he finally understood:
One is that the Chinese New Year means an expense, which is often not included in the tight living budget, and the other is that the rapid passage of time puts a huge pressure on them.
For families with difficult economic conditions, the Chinese New Year is a disaster.
On weekdays, I am frugal and frugal, and when it comes to the Spring Festival, I am forced to spend money like water, just to maintain that little bit of adult decency.
According to the survey, the per capita disposable income in 2019 is 30,000, but the data of Spring Festival money and gift expenses alone account for 1 3 of the annual income.
A netizen said that last year, the couple spent 70,000 or 80,000 yuan just for New Year's money and gifts, and they almost couldn't afford to invite relatives to dinner.
Later, her husband took the initiative to confess to her.
He was not at home all year round, and he couldn't go away, so he wrapped a red envelope of 20,000 yuan for his parents, and for the sake of face, he gave New Year's money to several juniors.
The 30,000 yuan was borrowed from a friend.
As soon as netizens heard that he cut first and then played, she had no money and slapped her swollen face and became fat, so angry that she took the child back to her parents' house in the first month.
After that, she said: "For the sake of a long-term marriage, our husband and wife still decided not to go back this year, and we can simply live here." ”
Truly. If the collapse of middle-aged people begins with the lack of money, then what is even more devastating is that poor marriages can break down at any time.
As the old saying goes, "Poor couples mourn everything." ”
When it comes to the feelings of marriage, it is not about love, life needs money everywhere, and marriage without money is always more difficult.
Every Chinese New Year, it is like an "annual inspection" of marriage, which pushes us to the Shura field of life and faces the dilemma of life.
From ancient times to the present, a good marriage is a dual combination of soul and material, and only with money and love can it be happy.
Don't forget to rely on each other when you bow your head to make money, and don't forget to work hard to earn money when you are in love, so that the marriage can last longer.
Someone asks: How to test whether a relationship is long-lasting?
It's not about what the other party says, it's not about what the other party does during the love period, but what is the other party's attitude when two people have a conflict.
Knowing how to understand each other and respecting each other, such feelings can withstand the wind and rain, survive the time, and are not afraid of the chaos of the New Year.
So, instead of complaining about each other and picking at each other's small shortcomings, it's better to have a good New Year.
The New Year is over, my heart is warm, and my marriage is smooth.
Click"Follow".The Spring Festival is approaching, and I wish everyone a happy marriage in the new year and a long time.