Before I knew it, I had been diagnosed with uremia for two years, and for two years, I had dialysis three times a week, 52 weeks a year, and I had nearly 312 dialysis sessions for 4 hours each time in two years, and I had spent 1,248 hours in the hospital, which is 52 days. I don't quite believe the numbers, but it's an unforgiving reality.
To tell the truth, I have despaired, sighed, and been deeply lonely, I was a good person, suddenly got sick, and had to lie on this hospital bed for **, and I lay down for four hours, four hours, my eyes were staring at the ceiling of white flowers, the bright 600*600 ceiling lamp, the dripping sound of the dialysis machine in my ears was sometimes screaming, and occasionally there was the groaning of the patient, and you have a dialysis pipeline connected to your hand, you can't move, you have to be very careful when you turn over, can you not go crazy?
And I'm not crazy, I'm not dead, and I've figured out three questions:
First, the body must be maintained. The human body is like a precision machine, oil and water, circuits, wear and tear debris, after a busy period of time, remember to stop and take a good look, should add some oil and water, remember to change the circuit when the circuit is aging, and remember to clean up the worn debris in time, but, I didn't understand these before, young, unlimited squandering, I thought I was very strong, but one day, the machine collapsed, and on the day of the uremia, I thought it was just indigestion, because I couldn't drink water, When the doctor said that the creatinine value had seriously exceeded the standard and that he was going to issue a critical illness notice, I didn't believe it at all.
Second, many relationships are invalid. I also knew that some relationships were invalid before, but I didn't expect them to be so invalid. When you have uremia, your social relationships change dramatically in an instant, on the surface nothing changes, but as long as you taste it with your heart, you will find that everything changes. The women who used to be ambiguous with you disappeared with a whoosh, classmates no longer asked you to play mahjong, colleagues in the unit pretended not to see you, fishing friends no longer asked you to fish, friends no longer asked you to go on a road trip, in short, you suddenly became a marginal person. I used to call 500 ** a month, but now there are only 5**, and I still have nothing to say to others. In response to that sentence, when you are lying on the hospital bed, what satellites go to the sky, aircraft carriers are launched, and foreign guests are received, and they have nothing to do with you. Only my wife hadn't left yet, and I saw the back of her serving me food and water, and I silently shed tears.
3. Death is not terrible. I had rarely thought about death before, but I always felt that it was still 108,000 miles away, and when I approached death so closely, I was not afraid. The doctor told me that the mortality rate of uremia is 20%, and most of them are cardiovascular diseases, such as cerebral infarction, myocardial infarction, heart failure, potassium poisoning, lung infection, etc., in short, uremia is an immortal cancer, slowly tormenting you, eroding your life, even if you maintain it well, you will have to reduce your life by ten years. But the strange thing is that I am calm, I am not afraid, die and die, people will die in the end, princes and generals, who can live forever? Everyone will die, but not everyone has really lived and spent the rest of their lives peacefully, isn't it the fate of us ordinary people? If there is no luxury, how can there be fear?
But I'm pretty sure I'm still alive, I'm still a fresh life, I can go to and from work like a normal person, food, clothing, shelter, and transportation, laugh and frustrate, I maintain my family, and I can even publish articles in today's headlines, I want to thank the development of this technology, the invention of the great technology of hemodialysis, saving us in danger, I want to thank the country's serious illness co-ordination, solving most of the medical expenses, so that I still live like a complete person, with a minimum of self-esteem and decency.
I would like to pay tribute to my 1248 hours of dialysis, you have made me understand my life, I want to bless every friend who has never known your life, cherish your life, take care of your health, don't squander your body, from now on.