I had a pension of 67,6000, and after visiting a sick friend, I resolutely asked for my credit card back.
My name is Hao Liping and I am 67 years old. I know how great and selfless parents are for their children. I used to be a mom who was running around for her child's marriage, from buying a house to preparing for the wedding, to giving him all the bank cards.
I always feel that this is what a good mother should do, find a way to help her children. However, it wasn't until last month that I wondered about the correctness of this approach.
When I visited my friend so-jin in the hospital, I found her alone in a quadruple room. She was the only one in the other three beds with a family and no children or a nanny.
Xiuzhen and his wife used to be in business, although they were not rich and rich, but they also lived well. But now, she can't even hire a nanny, why is this?
Xiuzhen said to us with a handful of snot and tears: "I really regret it, if I could think of today, I shouldn't have blindly done those things that have no bottom line."
When my daughter got married, she gave 100,000 yuan in dowry money and 200,000 yuan in dowry. We always thought that after we got married, our girls would not have so much love, but we never did. It doesn't matter if it's a child, if you have anything, you can help, and if you can, you can help.
Over the years, we've spent almost all of our money on these children, but we haven't done much to prepare them. ”
I always thought that when I was old, my children would take care of me so that I could enjoy family life to the fullest. However, a recent incident made me question my own ideas. In the early years, I had proposed that the two of them take turns living together, but they did not agree. I'm sad, but I can also comfort myself, maybe because they have their own struggles.
But now, in the hospital, the doctor told them that they had cancer, and they didn't even want to see a doctor, saying that the medical expenses were expensive and might not be cured, and they thought that I was too old to break the bank. I was very sad and heartbroken.
I'm so nice to them, and they won't give me **, it's so disappointing. If I can save a little more money, I will have enough money instead of being controlled by them. Unfortunately, I knew too late. I also don't want others to make the same mistakes as I did, and keep my money stable.
Every time my child says two words to me in front of my eyes, I can't help but want to do something for him. Especially in his first marriage, although he was married, the couple's salary was enough to keep him fed and clothed.
By the time I spent all my savings on buying a house and getting married, there wasn't much left. I finally realized that I needed to plan for my future.
However, my son often complains to me that the family does not have enough money, especially since he has children. I have always been very soft, and I was repeatedly moved by him, and unconsciously "coaxed" my "pension card" off. I, on the other hand, can only make a living by setting up stalls, although I earn very little, and I can only support myself.
Sometimes I also wonder that it is not right to put the pension on my children, but every time he says something nice to me, I feel that my heart is full and there is no reason at all. Although I still have a little savings, I will give my child when he needs anything.
However, when I saw Xiuzhen, I was shocked and scared. He was a very good boy, and he always coaxed me very happy, but he never did anything to help me substantially, neither gave a gift, nor offered a penny. He seemed to think that everything I was supposed to be, everything he was his, and never thought about my feelings. I wondered if my son would pay for me if I got sick or something happened? I wasn't sure what I was thinking, and I was a little vaguely afraid that he would be like Su-jin's child, and he would take my life and death as a thing.
That's why I applied for a social security card a few days ago, and I'll never give my pension to my son again. I was supposed to be given a pension, but when I came to pick it up at noon today, I suddenly found that my credit card had been cancelled. He called me right away.
Mom, why is your bank card invalid? You can't have done it yourself, right? ”
Without even thinking about it, I said, "Yes, people say that thirty is standing." That is, after marriage, you have to rely on yourself. Before, I always felt that you were pitiful and didn't want you to suffer, so I gave you all my savings. But now that you're in your forties, I guess I'm still taking a break from your life, my pension is mine, your life is up to you, you can't rely on me. ”
He said: "Mom, my current financial burden is still quite heavy, your monthly pension of 6,000 yuan, I can't use it up, can you give me more money?" If you do this, my wife will definitely oppose it, and it may not help you support your old age when the time comes, so think about it. ”
This sentence made me hesitate a little, but I insisted:"I figured out that I had to plan for my future. I can't take responsibility for your life anymore, you should understand that. ”
I never thought my child would threaten to retire, but this situation showed me that he could be trusted. He's done it, and if something goes wrong with me in the future, the couple will definitely give up on me. Therefore, I don't think it's right not to give these things to them.
I didn't continue arguing with my kids, just quietly hung up the **. I'm 67 years old and in pretty good health. I sell something at a roadside stall every month, and then I save all my pension money for my retirement.
Later, when I couldn't take care of myself, I sold my house and sent it to a nice home for the elderly. I will face my old age alone.