Revisiting Margaret Mitchell's ** "Gone with the Wind", I feel that the male protagonist Ritter, who has a unique philosophy of life, is actually a little annoying in the matter of love. Why? Because he's been trying to emotionally control Scarlett!
He may have felt great pity for Scarlett's suffering, but on the surface, he never showed equal respect.
For example, Scarlett talks about her experience of starving in Tara, explaining why she wants money so much: "My whole family, I want them to never go hungry again." I will do what I say, and I will do everything. A selfish guy like you won't understand. You've never had a bag picker come and chase you away. You've never been frozen, you've never worn tattered clothes, and you've never worked hard to make ends meet! ”
But Ritter calmly replied, "I have been in the Confederate army for eight months, and I don't think the world can be worse than that." "There is no consolation at all, only worse than whom?
From the first time he met Scarlett, Ritter wanted to subdue the wildcat and make her a carefree little wife under his own protection.
Ritter's final statement was as follows: "I hope you can stop fighting and let me continue to fight for you." I want you to play well, like a child—because you are indeed a child, a frightened but still brave and stubborn child! ”
Ritter's desire is so strong that he uses his daughter as a stand-in to transfer Scarlett's unwanted love to Meilan, and he hopes that Scarlett can rely on him as a father, so that he can feel a little bit of her love and get some psychological comfort.
But Scarlett, having ploughed and planted cotton at Tara Manor, could no longer be the kind of "child" that Ritter had hoped for.
After that, all the paths Scarlett chose for herself were difficult, ungraceful, and in those days were actually paths for men.
Rhett thought that she could accept Scarlett, but she didn't expect Scarlett to be born a "stubborn" who refused to admit defeat, she didn't know his love for her, and until the end, she was not "chased" by him or "moved" by him, she fell in love with him completely spontaneously. So she bravely confessed, just as she did with Ashley.
It can be seen that in every relationship, Scarlett always likes to be the party with the initiative, and will never bow her head and be controlled.
Ritter finally says that his love has been polished, perhaps because he finds himself never going to make it. And the valuable qualities that belong to Scarlett herself, only Melanie truly understands and agrees. And Rhett, for Scarlett's extraordinary tenacity and talent after Tara's defeat, may not be as clear as Ashley - so he has always been jealous of Scarlett's love for Ashley!
Such people, when trying to build relationships with others, tend to involuntarily manipulate others. They will only feel safe if they have others under their complete control.
They believe that no one will be with him because they really like him as a person, so the way they "keep" the loved one is to "control" that person through affection or money or other means.
On the other hand, Scarlett, she will show her weakness to the people she loves, and she is willing to give up her life for those who really love her, trust her, and rely on her. She is not as "timid" and vulnerable as Ritter, who is emotionally present.
It is said that Scarlett doesn't understand love, but how does Scarlett treat the person she loves? Just because of a word of entrustment, she fought with her life to protect the safety of her rival's mother and son in the chaos; When she was about to starve to death, a noble lady who had never cleaned up her socks went to the plough to feed her rival mother and son; The only time she begged Ashley to elope with her was when she was desperate and ready to give her body to a rich man to save the entire Tara Manor; After being rejected by Ashley, she promised never to mention it again, and to always love him only spiritually.
I hate that he refuses to let go of his posture, and I hate that he didn't confess directly to Scarlett at the beginning. What he does best is to put himself on the side of the victim by exaggerating the victim's side.
He didn't show his heart to Scarlett until the moment he was leaving, but his words were a little too much, after all, in Scarlett's opinion, what he showed on weekdays was a look of indifference - besides, even a really good person like Melanie thought he was stubborn, let alone others!