Everyone is born with family education, and it is family education that is most affected.
A parent's inadvertent word or behavior may leave a huge shadow in the child's heart, so as to affect the child's psychology and spirit for a lifetime.
Many parents don't understand why good children are depressed?
In fact, most of the children's depression has a reason, and parents should start with themselves, find out the reason, and see if they have treated their children like this in their daily life
Excessive focus on your child's learning
Scenario 1"Why are you so stupid! ”
How can I have a child like you! ”
You study hard from Xiao Wang in your class, how smart people are! ”
Parents will have high hopes for their children, but excessive attention to learning can easily make children resistant.
Parents can pay more attention to their children's psychological and emotional changes, be understanding and encouraged, and do not blindly pursue good grades. Don't always compare your own children with other people's children, as this will only undermine your child's self-confidence and increase their resistance.
Beat and scold the child, and breathe anger on the child
Scenario 2"You're so useless! ”
Why are you so unproductive! ”
I gave birth to you in vain! ”
Parents are their children's first teachers and have a huge influence on their children. Oppressive atmospheres such as parental quarrels and domestic violence may become factors that trigger depression, increase children's psychological burden, and cause them to have self-doubt.
Parents should be patient, educate and guide their children in a more scientific way, and truly love their children.
Refuse to communicate with your child
Scenario threeChild: "My classmates laughed at me for being ugly......”
Parent: "Don't bother me, don't you see I'm busy?" ”
It is very sad for a child to be disliked by their peers, even if the parents are busy with work, please do not ignore the problems that your children are facing at the moment, which may have a great impact on their lives.
Don't say things like "it's not a big deal", it will only make your child feel that you don't understand him and don't care about him, and the frustration and helplessness will be further strengthened.
Mocking children
Scenario four"It's really the sun that comes out in the west, and I even know how to take the initiative to do housework. ”
It was surprising that I got a perfect score in this exam. ”
Taunting is a powerful personal attack on children. Unable to see the scars inside, adults tend to ignore the harm of language.
Parents should avoid sarcastic responses, even if they are genuinely humorous, which can be misunderstood and become a psychological shadow.
Transfer the pressure to your child
Scenario five"You used to be a very good student, why are your grades so bad lately? ”
What kind of university can you get into with this kind of score? ”
How can I show off to your Aunt Zhang, I don't know how to give my parents a long face! ”
The closer to the exam, the more important the exam, and the greater the psychological pressure on the child. For children, try to decompress yourself, and let go of self-blame when you fail in exams, nothing is more important than health. Always believe in yourself and at the same time try to reassure yourself and don't care about other people's doubts and incomprehension of you.
For parents, children should be given more space to relieve their stress, rather than passing on more stress.
Hit the child's dreams
Scenario sixChild: "I want to travel around the world and see beautiful scenery in various places." ”
Parent: "Don't always have unrealistic dreams, you are a student, if you can't do a good job in studying, what qualifications do you have to talk about dreams?" ”
As children grow up, it is inevitable that some dreams will appear that seem unrealistic. While it is important to help your child recognize reality, parents can respond with encouragement and support.
Life is complete only when there are dreams, and chasing dreams will make children work harder, and they should not be persuaded to give up too early. May children always have dreams.
Most of us parents always feel that they are superior to their children, so when communicating with their children, they are always in a condescending state and always speak to their children in a critical and accusatory tone.
Secondly, today's parents pay too much attention to their children's learning and ignore their children's inner needs.
Reminder
It is natural for parents to expect their children to excel in character and learning, but it is important not to put excessive pressure on their children, and to pay attention to their mental health.