Disrespectful to parents-in-law, mother-in-law throwing glass: I don't knowBow your head to marry a daughter-in-law and raise your head to marry a daughter
This year's Spring Festival is my son's third Spring Festival after marriage, and although my daughter-in-law still returned to her parents' house for the Spring Festival, my son decided to spend the holiday with us. Even though three years have passed, my mother still hasn't been able to forgive us.
This happened at the wedding the year before last, in October 2021. At that time, our son and daughter-in-law were both 28 years old, just one month apart. The wedding went smoothly until the toasting session, when the mother-in-law suddenly left for some reason.
Our son and daughter-in-law first went to pay homage to an old leader, who was my husband's teacher and was 81 years old. This leader was at the department level before he retired, and he helped my husband's career a lot.
Although we didn't officially invite him to the wedding, he heard that my son was getting married and insisted on coming to see first-hand the moment when he became a father-in-law.
So, after the wedding, my husband led us and the couple to the old leader's seat first. In fact, I didn't think much about it at the time, but I just felt that the old man was over 80 years old, and it was not easy to attend the wedding of his apprentice's son, so I paid tribute to him first.
The original plan was to go to the table at the in-laws' house after paying tribute to the old leader.
As we raised our glasses to celebrate, there was a crisp cracking sound. It turned out that my mother-in-law, dissatisfied with our behavior, smashed the wine glass in public and scolded us for disrespecting others and not knowing the rules.
She even picked up her father-in-law and left the wedding scene. I immediately chased them out and tried to explain our intentions to them, but my mother was very angry and kept blaming us and did not listen to my explanation at all.
At that time, my husband also chased after me, and then some relatives also came out to watch. Still, I was embarrassed to argue with my mother-in-law because she was so loud that she accused us and embarrassed us very much.
Eventually, I decided not to stop and let the two of them leave.
In order not to affect the subsequent banquet, I quickly let go of my hand and let the onlookers disperse. After the wedding, I asked my son to bring two bottles of Wuliangye and two Chinese cigarettes as an apology gift.
However, my mother-in-law threw the gift money out of the door and asked my son to leave.
The son's emotional intelligence is worrying, and his mother's anger is even stronger when he says a word, and he scolds him for not being educated. It turned out that the mother-in-law proposed a bride price of 280,000 yuan, but later only gave 180,000 yuan, and it was not properly handled, and she was dissatisfied.
In order to resolve the conflict, we plan to let our son come to apologize and publicly apologize to them in two WeChat groups, saying that we want to come to the door to apologize to them in person.
However, my mother-in-law rejected our request, saying that their pond was too small to fit our "gods", and withdrew from our WeChat group.
The mother-in-law paid great attention to the order of the toast, and even behaved a little arrogantly, which undoubtedly interfered with her daughter's wedding. Since then, we have been forced to send our sons and daughters-in-law to their mother-in-law's house every Chinese New Year, because we really can't cope with the unrelenting attitude of our mother-in-law.
This situation also had an impact on the relationship between the young couple, and the daughter-in-law was even thought by her mother-in-law, thinking that we did not respect her family enough. The son was often ridiculed as a result, and the relationship between the two became increasingly strained.
During the Spring Festival this year, my son told me that he didn't want to go to his mother-in-law's house anymore because he was criticized and educated by his father-in-law every time he went, which made him feel very depressed, and he decided not to be blamed by them anymore.
I can understand how he feels. Now there is a saying in society that "each goes back to his own home, and each finds his own mother", and we respect his decision. But on the second day of junior high school, I still asked my son to prepare gifts and go to his mother-in-law's house to pay New Year's greetings, hoping that they can slowly let go, especially their mother-in-law.
We respect each other's decisions and hope that our relationship will improve.
When toasting at a wedding, do I have to toast the woman's parents first? If the man's elders and relatives are present, can you pay homage to them first? Please share your views. I'm here to chat with parents Boutique Long Essay Creation Season Record my 2024 and review with us those beautiful past events like fireworks.