A female student took a year off from school at home because of her spirit. After going to school, I am still afraid of teachers, afraid of exams, especially concerned about grades, if I can't learn, I will use a knife to cut my arm if I don't do well.
1. Punish yourself for peace of mind
Every time I don't do well in the exam, I will hurt myself, and then I consulted to minimize the damage. From hurting oneself with a knife at first, to punching oneself in the head with a fist or slapping oneself in the mouth. She said that every time she made a mistake, she had to beat herself, so that she could feel comfortable. There's a perfect being in there, and I have to do it right, I can't do it wrong. This kind of compulsion will force you to collapse.
Another interpretation of hurting myself is that I want to hurt others, and during the consultation, she remembered a conflict with her mother. She said that once I was very angry, I directly punched my mother in the mouth twice, and my mother was stunned. And then I was confused, how could I hit my mother? Although my mother will take care of me, it is all for my own good, and my mother does not have the strength of me, and she is relatively thin. The health is not very good, and from then on, no matter how she quarreled with her mother, she was hurting herself behind her back, that is to say, self-harm behind her back.
2. Seeing is healing
Psychological counseling always says that when you see it, you will heal, that is, if you see it, you can change. I saw my compulsion, which meant that I could only be right and not wrong. I saw the conflict with my mother, which means that I want to hit my mother, but I feel that it is wrong to hit my mother, so I can only beat myself. After several months of counseling, she would symbolically hit herself a few times when she encountered this situation again until it slowly disappeared.
First of all, she has the illusion that every exam thinks that she can change her fate. No matter what the exam is, I will take it very seriously, or I care very much about doing well in the exam. In addition to the compulsion in this, there is also a self-inability to distinguish which exam is important and which exam is unimportant? When we get this straight, most exams will be less stressful and scary.
3. The reasons behind the fear of exams
One of the important points in counseling is that I don't dare to look around when I take the exam, for fear of being warned by the teacher, and for fear of thinking that I am cheating. I told her that you want to cheat, and you are afraid that you want to cheat, and I want to cheat, I want to cheat, but I don't allow me to cheat. I am afraid that my thoughts will be known by the teacher, or I want to cheat for fear of being caught by the teacher. The more we hide this thought, the more we are afraid that the teacher will know about it, and this thought will stick to us and not leave.
So I said you can express your thoughts, I am welcome to have **cheating thoughts,**and cheating will give me a lot of benefits. She repeated this many times, and when she took the exam in the future, she pronounced all these thoughts positively and negatively, and her fear of the exam slowly disappeared. She said that although she was nervous about the exam, she felt that it was within my reach, and that it was not like I had become blank and flustered.
Teacher Sanqing is a national second-level psychological counselor, international hypnotist, signed author, the teacher is good at looking at problems from different angles, analyzing problems and solving problems, in the teacher's heart, no one is abnormal, no one is sick, the heart changes and the world changes. If you like the teacher's article, you can follow me.