Do you think you're powerless to change the status quo? Maybe you're just ignoring your ability to solve problems, and ignoring that you have other options to deal with them.
When people are in trouble, there are usually two situations:
The first is to face the problem with the ability to think, feel, and act as an adult, and the actions made at this time usually help solve the problem.
The second is to fall into the state of a child, unable to face problems with ** thinking, easy to ignore many real situation information, do not think that they can solve the problem, and do not think about possible solutions, but fall into passivity, waiting for adults to rescue themselves and help them get out of trouble.
Just like Xiaohao is an excellent planner, the proposed projects usually have good results, but Gillian, a senior colleague in different groups, always criticizes the content of Xiaohao's proposals, and Xiaohao is always at a loss when facing Gillian's criticism, and can only silently listen to her find fault with herself, not knowing how to stop Gillian's criticism.
Afterwards, Xiaohao will be very anxious to keep revising his plan to avoid giving Gillian a chance to find fault with himself.
In this situation, Xiaohao ignores his own ability and past achievements, he doesn't actually need to listen to Gillian's instructions, he also has the ability to do a good job. At the same time, he exaggerated Gillian's power and mistakenly believed that Gillian was qualified to evaluate himself and dictate his own projects.
In fact, Gillian is not Xiaohao's boss and has no power to interfere with Xiaohao's plans, so why does Xiaohao care so much about Gillian's pickiness and can't refute Gillian?
That's because in the face of Gillian's pickiness, Xiaohao returned to the state of a child, just like when he was scolded by his mother, he couldn't resist, and he would only be scolded worse when he opened his mouth to respond, he could only wait for his mother to scold enough to stop, or wait for his father to jump out and be a peacemaker to save himself, and he couldn't do anything.
When Howe falls into a childish state, he ignores the existence of other options, such as he can use:
Ignore her criticism, leave the scene when she wants to criticize or pretend not to hear;
politely told Gillian that he thanked her for her suggestion, but he already had an idea for the project, and he would have the opportunity to refer to her ideas in the future;
respond to Gillian's criticisms one by one;
Tell Gillian directly that she hopes she can respect herself, and ask Gillian to stop her criticism....Wait.
There are many different ways to face Gillian's criticism. When Howe discovers that he can have different options and take new actions to face them, he has the opportunity to help himself solve the problem.
Taking Xiaohao's example, when we fall into powerlessness in life, we can re-examine the predicament to find the points that have been ignored and exaggerated by ourselves, and re-think and solve problems with the best way of thinking.
It's easy to get a single perspective, so try to discuss it with a friend, often from someone else's point of view to help you see what you're not looking at.
Try to discuss: redefine what the problem is, whether it is possible to change (how to solve it), what options are possible, what options do you want to use, what different actions can be made...Wait.
In fact, people ignore many times just because they have a misunderstanding of the information or do not understand certain information, such as using the wrong way to lose weight, and they have not been able to lose weight, probably because they do not know the relevant knowledge, do not have enough information, and use the way to lose weight that is not suitable for them.
Therefore, while examining whether there is any indifference, you can also collect more information and check the correctness of the information to help you think and solve problems.
February** Dynamic Incentive Program