The more you are afraid of something, the more you will do it”
Seeing this sentence, don't get me wrong, this is not for everyone to take the risk of smashing themselves, here is a way to solve the problem: on the premise of ensuring safety, try to try to make yourself deliberately do those things that originally made you afraid, which may achieve problem solving and fear elimination. (Be careful, first of all, it must be a prerequisite for safety.) ）
Let's start with an example of me and my child:
My son, Zhezhe, was very scared of seeing earthworms when he was very young, and even in kindergarten, he was reluctant to come out to play after the rain had just fallen, because he would think that earthworms were easy to have on the ground after the rain. Even when we usually go for a walk in the green park and other places, he even sees some fallen branches on the ground, which look a bit like earthworms, he feels very uncomfortable!
I once tried to show him some picture books and ** about earthworms. Looking at these things, Zhezhe thinks it's okay, but it's still not okay to see real earthworms.
Later, after the rain, we were walking in the green space near the community, and I suggested to Zhezhe, "Let's try to play with earthworms together." I often encouraged him at the time, saying, "Let's just try it and enjoy it." Ha ha! ”
Of course, I was with him when I did it. I found a tree branch, and when I saw an earthworm on the road, I used the branch to poke the earthworm into the grass, so as to prevent the earthworm from being accidentally stepped on by the people on the road. So I also encouraged Zhezhe and said, "We are also helping earthworms to a safer place, and we are doing good deeds." Ha ha! ”
Later, I gradually encouraged Zhezhe to take a branch and pick up the earthworms he saw and send them to the grass. At first he was very careful, but I could see that he was really trying, and I was with him and I was with him, plus some words of encouragement.
That's it, I've really done it a few times!
So on the way home, Zhezhe said that although he was still a little uncomfortable looking at earthworms, he was not as scared as before.
Hey! This kid is quite honest when he speaks, and of course I'm very happy that he can have such a feeling and breakthrough.
I'll share an example of my own speech course:
I have my own course "Public Speaking Story Expression", which provides students with the learning to achieve effective public speaking by mastering the ability to express stories. And every time I do a rehearsal for the students in the course, in the face of the situation that the students will be easy to get nervous when they give a speech on stage, I will not say "overcome the tension" and so on to the students, but ask the students to "record" the state and process of this tension, such as the heartbeat, how many more beats than usual? As soon as you open your mouth to speak, your mouth stammers, how did you stutter? As soon as you get on stage, your hands shake, how do you shake your hands? As soon as you face everyone on stage, your legs are easy to be unable to stand, why can't your legs stand? I don't know where to look, but where to look?..
Let them see and record the details of all these students' own nervous state, and generally after this process, the students are less nervous.
Frankl, a famous psychiatrist, once analyzed a classic case: there is a high school where a student has a "dream of being an actor" since he was a child. But unfortunately, this student was born a stammer, so he didn't have a chance to go on stage at all. But one time, the opportunity suddenly appeared, because the school was rehearsing a play, and there happened to be a character that needed to stutter. So the troupe asked him to perform. However, what is very interesting is that when he actually went on stage to rehearse and wanted to deliberately perform stammering, he actually stopped stuttering! And no matter how hard he tries, he just can't stutter anyway. Isn't that interesting, you say!
To summarize the principle of this effect: it is a subconscious process that originally occurred naturally, and once carefully pondered, it successfully interfered with the process of the original action.
Similar things, which often happen to us, are that if we stare at a word for a long time, we will suddenly feel that the word is so unfamiliar, and we will even not recognize the word, which is also a similar reason.
So, if we encounter some challenges and problems, we can try this way.