Why are people who are not close to their parents happier?
Xiaoxiao's relationship with her parents has never been very close, and when she was a child, her parents were busy with work and rarely accompanied her. When she grew up, she studied and worked alone, and her parents rarely asked about her life.
She has always believed that close family relationships are the foundation of happiness, so she has always envied those whose parents have a close relationship with their children.
And then something happened that made her realize that "close family relationships are not the foundation of happiness".
One day, Xiaoxiao went to take care of her sick colleague Ah Zhen, who is a typical person with a "good family background", her parents doted on her and cared about her every move.
However, Xiao Xiao found that Ah Zhen had obviously lost her lifeThe backbone of the backbone, she doesn't know how to live independently.
Ah Zhen took sick leave for several days, but in the face of an empty refrigerator, Ah Zhen never went to buy ingredients to fill the refrigerator by herself, and Ah Zhen also asked her mother to drive her to deliver food every day.
Ah Zhen always said:"I'm a spoiled princess, and I won't be able to live without anyone to take care of me. ”
Because people who are not close to their parents have learned to think and live independently.
Xiaoxiao deeply reflected on her own growth process, although she lacked the company of her parents, but this just made her learn to think and live independently from an early age. She does not rely on others easily, but strives to live and grow on her own abilities. This also allowed her to develop the spiritual quality of self-improvement. In contrast, Ah Zhen does not have any of these at all.
It is said that the children of the poor are in charge of the family early, and in the process of growing up, although some parents are absent from the growth of their children, they let their children have the ability to solve problems by themselves, and unconsciously let their children learn to think and live independently.
Because people who are not close to their parents are not dominated by their parents' desire for control and ignorant thoughts.
I noticed that overly close family relationships can also restrict children's personal development.
Jingjing's little best friend Jingjing is an example, Jingjing's parents love her very much, but they excessively require her to choose a career, spouse, dress, etc. according to their expectations, which makes Jingjing very stressed and suffocating, so that Jingjing can never let go of the pursuit of her own life.
On the other hand, although she lacks family support, she can live completely according to her own ideas, which makes her feel more free and energetic.
In order to keep his name as a prodigy and for his own face, the parents of the prodigy Zhang Xinyang let him take an ordinary second book, and later he was admitted to graduate school, and the tutor asked him to go to Germany to study at "public expense", but his parents were unwilling, afraid that Zhang Xinyang would not come back, and forced him to stay in Beijing. Housing prices in Beijing are at a low point, and he asked his parents to buy a house in Beijing, and his family can afford to pay the down payment on a house in Beijing, but his parents rented a house and tricked him into buying it.
Zhang Xinyang handed over the choice of the turning point of his fate to his parents, but his parents abandoned his great opportunity and great future.
Because people who are not close to their parents will cherish their feelings more and be kind to others.
Xiaoxiao also found that people who are estranged from their parents tend to cherish their friends more and be more helpful. Because they need to get the warmth of family from their friends, which motivates them to take the initiative to maintain friendships, and the circle of friends is closer, so as to gain a sense of belonging to another kind of home. And those with close family ties tend to socialize less with friends and are more dependent on their families.
Xiao Xiao gradually understood that good and moderate family relationships are important, but the more intimate the better. On the contrary, keeping a certain distance helps to develop children's independence and self-management skills, which are the key to whether children can live happily as adults.
Through this experience, Xiao Xiao no longer envied his close family. She began to rejoice in her upbringing, which taught her to be self-reliant and independent, to have a wide circle of friends, and to be free to live and grow.
The estrangement of her parents has allowed Xiaoxiao to be happy in another way.
Xiaoxiao understands that there is no best model for family relationships, and the key is whether it can adapt to the needs of different people, so that everyone can grow and be happy in it.
If the parents are stubborn, feudal, and controlling, in order to get better development for themselves, the children need to get rid of the influence of the original family on themselves.
If parents are wise and open-minded, they can better enable their children to live a comfortable and satisfactory life.
We don't have to envy other people's lives, no matter whether the family relationship is good or bad, we have to accept our family relationship, we have to draw positive, positive, beneficial to ourselves and the society, and strive to live our own unique and rich life.