People with high emotional intelligence are very good at talking.
This kind of speaking does not mean that you close your eyes with your conscience and praise how good the other party is, nor does it mean that you have wronged yourself and swallow your anger without saying anything, but that you can make yourself happy and the other party is happy through words.
In marriage and love, smart women can also make each other please each other in the cold winter and wax moon, it can be said that good speech determines whether the partnership can be long-term and stable.
There are two topics that a wise woman never talks about at home, and the more she doesn't talk about it, the happier she is.
I once said in an article that a smart woman will maintain proper boundaries with everyone, that is, she does not treat her husband as a relative, and does not treat her mother-in-law as a mother.
At any time, don't overestimate your place in the hearts of others.
Even if your husband has a deep relationship with you, don't really talk about everything, such as how many complaints you have about your mother-in-law and how bad you think she is, that's what you think.
You can't ask a man to "share the same hatred" with you just because he doesn't like it, after all, it's his own mother.
A really smart woman will never complain to her husband with emotions and accuse her in-laws, because your mouth is happy, but it is he who is uncomfortable, and after one or two, three or five times, the man will think that you don't care about his feelings, and you can't tolerate his family.
So, it's worth the cost, and it's your feelings that hurt in the end.
I saw a sister on the Internet who "tore the evil mother-in-law", saying that she stretched her hand too long and managed too much, and did not respect her as a hostess, and the most unbearable thing for her was that her mother-in-law had to talk to her son for more than an hour every day.
In the end, the woman has a rather broken posture: today, if you want me to or, you have to give me a decision.
In real life, many young couples who love each other lose to their original families, and the small family of two people has to squeeze in six people, and the result is chaotic.
Dr. Huang Weiren has pointed out:
90% of the problems that occur in our relationships originate from our family of origin, and only 10% are newborn problems.Therefore, love is never a matter of two people, but a matter of two families or even two families.
In the face of love marriage, you have to be prepared that you must not only accept and tolerate your partner, but also include everything behind him.
If a wise woman wants a happy and long-lasting marriage and love, she must understand the situation of her family and parents in advance, and cannot passively wait for problems to occur.
We can't change anyone, the only thing we can do is to make ourselves shine like the sun.
When facing anyone, do not overestimate human nature, do not underestimate the lethality of words.
Speak well and speak firm words in a gentle tone, so that he understands both the truth and your original intentions.
Women, you must keep in mind that when you talk to your husband about your in-laws, don't let your emotions prevail and not choosing words will only destroy your relationship.
In front of outsiders, husband and wife are one, one is prosperous and the other is lost.
A smart wife will give her husband enough face in front of outsiders, and "go home and settle accounts" is each other's love and little secret, but she will never directly suppress him outside.
Because, the disapproval and belittlement of an intimate partner will make the partner more likely to doubt themselves and even fall into a situation of inferiority.
Marriage Pope", John Gottman once said
Criticism, justification, cold war, and contempt are the Four Horsemen of Doom that cause damage to the marital relationship of husband and wife. The worst of these is contempt.
I have a distant aunt who has a bad temper, once relatives met to travel to other places, and the second uncle, who was a driver, didn't know Dao'er, so he asked his uncle-in-law to help guide the way.
The uncle-in-law was not familiar with it, and while looking at the map and directing, the aunt opened up directly, so that he didn't know the road and pointed blindly; If you can't do anything, you can ......
Suddenly, the laughter and laughter in the car immediately froze, and no one spoke again, and everyone silently listened to the aunt's lesson along the way.
As a husband and wife, it is inevitable that there will be disagreements, but it is good to say it calmly, and there is no need to deny and suppress the husband in public.
Whether the woman's starting point is to prove that I am better than him, or whether we don't distinguish between each other, or simply want to teach him a lesson, this approach will do more harm than good.
Truly intelligent women will use hamburger-style chat skills to communicate with men, first affirming what they have done well, then moving on to improving in the future, and finally returning praise and encouragement.
Men who are gently encouraged and guided will have more advantages in terms of self-confidence, optimism, and positivity than men who were denied, suppressed, and blamed in the previous period.
So, don't rush everything to get it done, slow down and everything will be better.
Love, marriage, emotion
About the Author:
I'm Qingcheng. A psychologist with temperature, ** is a life recorder.
Chat with you, taste books, read thousands of sails and return to the countryside!