In this era of increasingly obvious differences between urban and rural areas, communication and exchange problems between urban and rural areas often become a major problem in marriage. When a daughter-in-law from the city walks into a rural in-law's house, one of the biggest problems is the language barrier and communication difficulties. The accent and dialect of the in-law's family are almost a new language for the daughter-in-law in the city. In just a few days, it was difficult for the daughter-in-law to adapt to this difficult situation of communication, let alone integrate into the life of her in-laws. If a daughter-in-law wants to express her thoughts and communicate feelings, she has to rely on her husband's translation. Many times, this communication barrier can make the maid feel isolated and uncomfortable. During the Chinese New Year, the maid-in-law wanted to chat more with her relatives and friends in her in-law's family and get to know her better, but due to the language barrier, she could only sit aside and play with her mobile phone silently. The maid soon discovered that the main pastime in her in-law's village was playing cards, and she herself neither knew how to play cards nor liked to play cards. Because of this, she can only rely on her mobile phone to fill the boring entertainment time during the Chinese New Year. The mobile phone became her best companion in the countryside, immersed in it, charging it several times a day. It also meant that she had to buy more data to keep up with the constant use of her phone. This has invisibly increased her financial burden.
In addition to communication difficulties, urban daughters-in-law will also face the problem of poor living facilities and serious discomfort when they return to their rural in-laws' homes for the New Year. There is indeed a big difference between the living facilities in rural areas and those in urban areas. The first is the issue of heating. Most homes in rural areas are not heated, and the cold weather in winter makes the whole house feel cold, especially the bedrooms without heating. In order to solve this problem, the in-laws may use simple stoves to keep warm, but this practice is quite unfamiliar and unsafe for the daughter-in-law in the city. She was afraid that the stove would start a fire, and she was not used to using it to heat the quilt and bed. Therefore, she can only ask her husband to warm up the quilt with his body first, and then **. And this practice is undoubtedly very strenuous and uncomfortable. In addition, the toilet facilities in the countryside are also very uncomfortable for the daughter-in-law in the city. Most of the toilets in rural areas are dry toilets, and they can be even colder in winter. Moreover, the toilets are dirty and messy, and most of them do not have partitions and flushing equipment, which makes the maids feel very inconvenient and embarrassed when using the toilets. Therefore, she will try to be patient and avoid using the toilet, and sometimes even go out at night when no one is around. Bathing is also a problem. Many families in rural areas do not have water heaters, and women need to boil water on the stove and sit in a large plastic basin to take a bath. The weather in winter was too cold, and the maid did not dare to bathe in cold water, so she could only endure it until she returned to the city to wash again. Even if you take a bath, because there is no water heater, you will still feel cold after washing. The hair also became greasy because there was no condition to wash it.
Another reason why the daughter-in-law in the city resisted going back to her in-laws' house in the countryside for the New Year was the expense. When you go back to your in-laws' house in the countryside for the Chinese New Year, you need to buy a series of gifts, give red envelopes to relatives and friends, and buy clothes, fruits, snacks and dried fruits for your parents, younger siblings, etc. These trivial expenses can add up to almost the entire year-end bonus or even several months' salary. What's more, the daughter-in-law in the city also has to go to various relatives' houses to pay New Year's greetings, and cigarettes, alcohol, and milk are still indispensable gifts, and the red envelopes in their pockets will become more and more deflated. This kind of pressure and financial burden is undoubtedly an important reason why urban daughters-in-law resist returning to their rural in-laws' homes for the New Year. Back in the city, they had to work hard to earn more money to make up for their financial losses.
The relationship between relatives in rural in-laws is relatively complicated, and relatives come and go very closely. The daughter-in-law in the city has to face not only her mother-in-law and father-in-law, but also all kinds of uncles, uncles, aunts, aunts, and so on. They had to go to each relative's house to pay New Year's greetings, bring gifts and red envelopes, and toast cigarettes one by one. This is a huge challenge for a daughter-in-law who grew up in a city. Not only do they have to deal with the difficulties of communication and living facilities, but they also have to deal with relationships with strangers. During the visit, urban daughters-in-law may encounter some cold treatment and unfriendly attitudes, because their behavior and habits are quite different from those of their rural relatives. This also increases the difficulty and pressure for urban daughters-in-law to go back to their rural in-laws' homes for the New Year.
To sum up, the reluctance of urban daughters-in-law to go back to their rural in-laws' homes for the New Year is not because they are selfish, indifferent, and indulgent, but because they face many difficulties and discomfort. Language barriers, communication difficulties lead to isolation and helplessness, poor living facilities, unsuitable environment makes them feel stressed and uncomfortable, and the cost of returning to the countryside for the Chinese New Year will also make them feel a heavy financial burden. Rural people should empathize, understand and respect the feelings of urban daughters-in-law, and work together to find solutions to achieve family harmony and affectionate exchanges. At the same time, only by changing traditional concepts and mentality and promoting mutual understanding and integration between urban and rural areas can we narrow the gap between urban and rural areas and achieve common development.