Mr. Kazuo Inamori once said: From the enthusiasm of youth to the steady composure of middle age, and then to the reflection and review of old age, each stage should cherish and comprehend the different experiences and feelings in life. We must continue to work hard to achieve our dreams and goals, maintain firmness and courage, and better cherish and experience the beauty and happiness of life through gratitude in the face of life's setbacks and difficulties. Only by constantly surpassing oneself and constantly challenging oneself can life realize its value and meaning. In this process, we need to actively learn and grow, and constantly explore and try new things.
Life is fleeting, and we go from babies to adults and in the blink of an eye we have grown into middle-aged people who need to take responsibility. Adult society is cruel and unforgiving, and only those who have experienced it can deeply feel it. However, society has always focused on children and the elderly, ignoring the situation of middle-aged people. As the pillar of the family, middle-aged people are faced with the responsibility of caring for their children and the elderly, and they are under unprecedented pressure and challenges.
In the complicated life, middle-aged people have experienced loss and hesitation, and they finally overcome themselves, fight for their dreams, run forward without hesitation, and continue to work hard. But the reality is cruel and unforgiving, and in the face of the uncertainty of the future, they can only compromise for the sake of their livelihood, and in the constant setbacks, they gradually lose themselves.
Whenever it was quiet in the middle of the night, they recalled the youth and sighed. However, the passage of time is irreversible, and reminiscing about the past cannot solve the current living environment, and they slowly precipitate the anxiety and hesitation in their hearts, pressing them in the deepest part of their hearts, and there is no outlet for venting. These accumulated emotions will eventually become the last straw that crushes middle-aged people, triggering a complete collapse of life.
The hesitation and anxiety of middle-aged people are usually related to family and career, which is also a dilemma and problem that most people face. Halfway through the journey of life, middle-aged people can no longer easily leave everything behind like young people, pursue their dreams as they want, and start a trip that they can say and go. They have a heavy responsibility on their shoulders and must carry it forward. On the way forward, confusion and anxiety follow them, they need a quiet place that is not disturbed, and they need to silently release their inner pressure when there is no one.
The suffering of middle-aged people can only taste by themselves, and they cannot tell their elderly parents and young children about the pressure of pain. They are the only hope to support this family, so they can only grit their teeth, disguise their strength as their protective color, make an invincible appearance, and smile at the wind and rain.
Published. Northern Literature and Art Publishing House.
Design. Micro Publishing on the Tree.
ISBN. isbn 978-7-5317-6082-5
Distribution. part-01
About the Author
Zhou Hong (marry).
Mission: To help 10 million people become rich and happy.
Happy Life Coach.
Entrepreneur Heart Energy Mentor.
Founder of Douman Education, Yixin Home, and Yixin Home Public Welfare.
Double: English, Psychology.
Double Studies: Business Administration, Philosophy.
24 years of senior educator and trainer, 15 years of entrepreneurship, Shanghai Shenghe Juku entrepreneur director.
National Senior Psychological Counselor, Dream Sailing Mentor, Happiness Code Trainer, Charismatic Wisdom Trainer, Senior Hypnosis, Timeline Senior Executive, NLP Senior Executive, Chinese Personality Color Counselor, Speech Expert, New Expert.
Best-selling author, published Be Your Own Sun
Measure China and the world with footsteps, and constantly explore and practice the way of the ancient sages.
part-02
Testimonials
Why did you come from this life? What a word to wake up a dreamer! The thoughts and wisdom in Teacher Zhou Hong's book will definitely allow more women to wake up and live out.
——Sun Weilian, founder of Dandelion Time and editor-in-chief of the industry textbook "Body Posture Training Course".
If you don't know how to change your life, if you are in the dark, if your life is confused, this book by Teacher Zhou Hong is like a light, shining on the heart, illuminating the way forward, repelling confusion, breaking fear, and giving life meaning and hope, and all we have to do is to approach this light source.
——Chen Xu, the initiator of Zhiyu whole-person development, the president of CCF Coaching Alliance, and the founder of 51Coach Zhiyu Coaching Platform
Marry, the inaugural cohort of my Education Acceleration Lab, is a dynamic and aspiring education entrepreneur. Among the many students, her authenticity and purity impressed me and the other students very much. She continues to improve in her self-growth and education, and has multiple perspectives, both Chinese and foreign, and her story is worth reading.
——Ning Baiyu, founder of Blue Elephant Capital
I appreciate Mr. Zhou Hong's new book "Why This Life Comes", which gives people warmth, light and strength from the depths of their hearts. Sincere and emotional essays are very powerful, and there is a great need for such books to help people get out of their inner confusion and despair. I believe that you can draw the strength to forge ahead and live a wonderful and blooming self.
——Liu sir, founder of the Scholar Academy
Praise Teacher Zhou Hong has experienced the ups and downs of fate since she was a child, and she began to think about the meaning of life at the age of 9. After experiencing deep inner pain, I developed the ability to empathize. The book "Why This Life Came" allows people to see a strong vitality and come out of the trough of despair to have greater power. I believe that after reading it, you will be able to feel the wisdom and power of life.
——Best-selling author, his masterpiece "Reliable", Hou Xiaoqiang, chairman of Jinying Technology
part-03
Excerpts from the contents
How to get rid of self-doubt with a stable work and a stable mind?
The road of life is full of twists and turns, and we can only bury our heads in the face and move forward, because we have no way back. By middle age, most of us already have families and children, and our parents are old enough to be cared for.
At this time, the invisible pressure is attacking us in all directions, whether it is inner or external, for us in middle age, it is always so cruel, like a knife into our heart, mercilessly fast, accurate, ruthless, and even does not give us a moment of respite time and opportunity. Even if we are exhausted, even if we are unable to do anything, even if we can no longer support it, we can only face it with a smile, and we can only drag our tired body step by step on the road of life.
They can't stop their steps, because once they stop their steps, they will lose all the nutrients to move forward, because they are the mainstay of a family, and they can only support their own sky, and under that sky, there are people they need to protect and care for, whether you are a man or a woman.
As a spiritual mentor of life growth, I have seen many middle-aged men crying like children, who are supposed to be the breadwinners of their families. I have also met many women who have dedicated their youth and efforts to their families, only to be abandoned by their families and lose their livelihoods. However, among the people who came to consult, the most impressive was a man named Ye Zi (not his real name), who was in a period of professional confusion.
Dressed in a decent suit, Ye Zi is calm and elegant, and he talks Sven, and he doesn't look like a person who will fall into a middle-aged period of confusion. In fact, people like Ye Zi are more likely to fall into confusion and confusion, because their mental defenses are often very strong and they are not easy to open up to others.
As I sat in front of me, he greeted me with a smile, but I noticed the exhaustion and anxiety in his eyes that could not be concealed, even though he had been forced to composure. Obviously he has controlled his inner anxiety, maybe he doesn't trust me completely, maybe he just wants to find someone to talk to about his inner anxiety, maybe he doesn't want his work and life to be affected.
When a lot of people come to me for advice, they want to get a quick solution and get themselves back on their feet. However, rushing for results does not really solve the problem, nor does it fundamentally solve the difficulties they face. In particular, the psychological defense of middle-aged people is stronger than that of children and young people, and if you want to solve their problems, you must first win their trust, let them take the initiative to open their hearts, and express their inner pain and confusion. The same is true for Ye Zi, I didn't ask him a question directly, I have always liked to give people who like to hide their anxiety more time and space to release themselves, so I poured him a cup of hot tea, watching the white smoke fill the room, and the faint fragrance of tea entered people's hearts with the white mist. The leaves in front of him were slowly lowering his.
The defensiveness and the anxiety he hides in his heart.
He held the teacup in his hand, and after a long silence, he slowly spoke:"I needed help because I felt lost and directionless, and even though I was working in sales, I didn't like or even hated the job, but I had to continue doing it for the sake of living.
"I am nearly 40 years old, and I feel that the gap between myself and young people is getting wider and wider, middle-aged people do not have many opportunities in society, and their learning and execution skills are difficult to compare with young people, and I am worried that I will be eliminated by society. ”Mr. Ye Zi revealed the inner pressure and uneasiness.
"I'm not a cheerful and outgoing person, I'm very introverted and sometimes have a slight social phobia. ”
He put his situation and self-analysis together. Mr. Ye Zi was born in the early 80s of the 20th century, and is now nearly 40 years old, engaged in bulk commodity sales in Shanghai. started his business in 2020, Mr. Ye Zi started his business for 3 years, and finally ended with the end of the company, these 3 years only he knows what hardships he has experienced, nights that he can't sleep, heart-rending pain, countless dark nights on the way to entrepreneurship, helplessness and deep fear. Starting a business made him even more confused and painful, ending the startup and entering a sales company. However, today's work pressure has made him more and more confused, especially in recent years, which has made him unable to see his future career development prospects, and even feel whether he can make a breakthrough in the sales industry. It is precisely because he is not good at interacting with people, unable to easily face sales jobs that require high-level communication skills, and is always prone to timidity and withdrawn thoughts. However, due to multiple factors such as his family, he did not have the courage to give up his current job again and devote himself to a new industry.
Actually, my initial job was in the IT business. This kind of work that requires computer communication is more suitable for my life planning and development. However, I was young and wanted a freer, more relaxed working environment, so I quickly changed careers. Mr. Ye Zi smiled, and at the same time with a sense of helplessness. He confided in me about his failure: "After I quit my IT job, I decided to start my own business. However, at the beginning of the business, there was no careful consideration, coupled with the market and things not going well, the development of the business was not good, and no money was made. Speaking of his previous failures, Mr. Ye Zi was depressed, bowing his head slightly, with a frustrated face.
After experiencing the pain of entrepreneurial failure, I wanted to return to the IT industry to seek new opportunities, but time flies, technology changes rapidly, and a few years of leaving has made me gradually disconnect from the pulse of this industry. The runway can only be changed, but the road ahead is vast, and the previous accumulation has also come to naught. I've tried to do technology from software to sales, but the difference between the two is incompatible with my personality. I'm a quiet, serious person, not good at words, not good at socializing, and I have repeatedly hit a wall in the sales field. At this time, I really felt helpless and lost, and I didn't know where to go. ”
It is also a very necessary way to let anxious people have a proper release at the right time, and Ye Zi's current age and the environment he is in bring him great pressure to make him feel very hard, so releasing the bad emotions in his heart can make him clearer.
After listening carefully and patiently to Ye Zi's complaints and descriptions, I tasted the tea in front of me, and then said, "Mr. Ye Zi, your biggest dilemma now is that you can't be clear about your pursuit. You don't have a stable idea of money, and you don't have a firm belief and goal. In this way, no matter what industry you enter, it will be difficult to take root for a long time. So what you need is a clear understanding of yourself, a clear goal and a belief in what you need to be on your path to success. ”
However, in addition to natural factors, family factors also have a profound impact on the shaping of an individual's personality. So, instead of immediately going into the nitty-gritty of his career, I led him to talk about the relationship between family members. "Can you tell me about your family? Like your parents, your siblings, or your wife and children? ”
Mr. Ye Zi glanced at me, hesitated for a few seconds, and finally spoke: "I come from a family of six, the eldest in the family, and my parents have four children, two older brothers and one sister. Her parents worked as farmers and had a meager income, so her sister had to drop out of school to support the family. Of my two elder brothers, the second brother was born with some defects, one eye was blind due to an accident, and his parents took special care of him. Because I was the youngest in the family, my parents were strict with me since I was a child, and my older brothers and sisters were also influenced by my parents and took strict care of me. When I was a child, I didn't feel anything, but as I grew older, I became more and more sensible, and I found that what I do and what decisions I make need not only the consent of my parents, but also the approval of my older brothers and sisters at home. ”
Mr. Ye's growth process can be described as full of restrictions and constraints. The presence of his older siblings kept him under management, and his parents did not have much education. The father was hot-tempered and not good at words; The mother, though gentle, is too strict with her children. As we all know, the father's personality will have a profound impact on the son, therefore, Mr. Ye's personality is also biased towards the impatient side of the father, and his speech is also slightly blunt and not good at words. Such a living environment formed his weak ability to think independently. Coupled with the lag of his parents' thinking, these factors not only created his character of not being good at words, but also developed his habit of hesitation, he lacked long-term planning and clear goals, and could only passively deal with the confusion and challenges of life, until he fell into a desperate situation will seek change. This trade-off model has hardly brought significant breakthroughs and successes to his career development. I continued, "Great achievements often come from perseverance. Only by persevering can we see the rainbow that belongs to us. However, what you lack is precisely the persistence and patience, but also the lack of courage and courage. ”
What I said hit me, Ye Zi probably didn't expect me to say so directly, he raised his eyebrows sharply and then tightened his brows to explain his surprise and surprise, he raised his head to look at me, and then replied: "Teacher Marry is right, I am indeed deeply influenced by my father. He is an introvert and doesn't talk much on weekdays, but he is a good person full of love. As long as someone praises him, he is reluctant to do his own thing, but will help others. My personality is also somewhat similar, I am prone to soft-heartedness and lack of firm principles. Even if people say sweet things, I'm easily deceived. Someone once borrowed money from me, and I would lend it, and if I didn't, I would feel guilty. But then slowly, I gradually learned to deal with these trivial things. Because my lover once warned me to be precise and clear in my speech, and avoid ambiguity, so as to reduce unnecessary trouble. Gradually, I grew through the experience and followed my own principles. Listening to Mr. Yezi's words, I smiled: "It seems that your wife knows you very well, and you are very happy." ”
When I mentioned his wife, a smile appeared on Mr. Ye's face: "Yes, I met a wife who is considerate and tolerant of me. ”
At this time, Mr. Ye Zi's mood was much lighter, and his thinking was calm and clear. So I provided advice and knowledge on the corresponding content.
Your problem is actually not as difficult as you think, you are much happier than others, because you already know in your heart that your problem is **, and you just need to solve the problem you think, although in your psychology, you will be worried because of the fear of job instability, then you can ask yourself, why are you worried, is it worried about your lack of ability or because of other reasons, but whether it is any other reason, there is one thing we need to understand, that is, if we are good enough, No matter what the challenge, we can accept it, if we are good enough, self-confidence will follow, so in the face of these difficulties, in fact, it is more about you to make yourself better, good enough to withstand any difficult challenges, then you need to improve your own ability, whether it is internal or external. "I have made a profound analysis of the problems and difficulties raised by Mr. Ye Zi.
shushangwei
Custom Publishing Professional for you.