When an older leftover woman enters marriage, if your husband frequently tells you these 3 words, you must pay attention to it. Otherwise, you will be deceived, and you may still be in the dark.
Usually a woman's 6th sense is very accurate, and when a man has a ghost in his heart, then they will hit a rake first.
Say that you are too sensitive and deliberately find fault, then what you have to do is follow your heart.
No matter what he says?
Don't think so, you're thinking too much.
This should be vigilant, if he does not change jobs, and suddenly starts to work overtime frequently. Then you have to be real first, go to his company to see if he is working overtime?
Don't take his word for it, you'll be completely convinced. Then after a long time, you start to guess and doubt, take the initiative to understand your husband's work, if people really work hard suddenly, you have to be considerate and considerate.
Then you are a good wife, but if he doesn't work overtime, then don't wait, hurry up and thunder the shock.
That's it for me, I can't change it.
This sentence is throwing the pot, he will eat you. You can't do anything with him, and you will eat him.
You won't leave him, so he'll put you in a dilemma. Especially when some pseudo-mothers say this, it is clear that I want to stand on both sides.
Recently I learned about a new form of emotional abuse that really needs to be a cause for all of us to be wary of. Because many people will be tricked unconsciously, and their hearts will be very uncomfortable.
First of all, I will share with you a case of my previous family counseling, so that you can benchmark, for example, at a family gathering, when this husband was eating, he kept serving vegetables to his wife, and kept telling you to eat more.
The wife suddenly went crazy, refused to eat it, and threw away the chopsticks.
The man said to friends, do you think my wife has a problem in her heart?
I care about her so much, she doesn't know what to do.
Everyone said that she had a problem, but later, when I communicated with the couple alone, I learned that this husband thought his wife was fat at home every day.
Forget it, it's very indifferent. Sometimes, this wife wants to be intimate with her husband, and her husband will push her away.
This woman was crying when she told me, and she was fat because she was depressed after giving birth and took some drugs with hormones, so she became fat.
It's hard to lose, and getting fat isn't what she instinctively wants. But her husband's reaction will make her feel that her home is about to fall apart.
She is very powerless and helpless, she doesn't know what to do?
So, she couldn't control her emotions all of a sudden.
What about this husband's approach?
Actually, what I'm going to tell you about today, reactive abuse.
Dog whistle, do you know what it is?
Let's take a look at this thing, it's used to train animals. But the sound of this whistle can only be heard by animals.
Because the relationship between husband and wife is between these two people, one of them is right, and the other person's form of aggression is very hidden. Only the two of you know that others don't know, and it will form a hidden psychological trauma for you.
After that, he may casually say something irritating to you. You may lose control of your emotions and expose irritability.
Even, sometimes there will be some violent behavior, in fact, the worst thing is that you have been hurt all along, but in the eyes of others, you are the one who has the problem.
If you want to ask for help, no one will pay attention to it. Just like the client I just mentioned, outsiders don't think there's anything wrong with him.
But do others know what they usually encounter at home?
Others don't know at all, but can others think of the feeling that her husband pushed her away and rejected her?
No one else can see it, so this form of abuse often happens to partners. And, of course, between parents and children, these forms of abuse are unintentional and of course intentional.
For example, a friend of mine is a post-80s generation who has lived in someone else's house since he was a child. In the shadow of the child, his parents have never praised him or approved of him anyway.
In the post-80s generation, many parents may educate their children in this way. So my parents didn't think there was anything wrong with me. But when he grew up, his parents only had to say who was married, and this friend couldn't stand it.
I also dealt with a particularly scheming case, my husband had been ambiguous with someone else for a long time, and every time he said that he wanted to return.
But after returning for a while, I felt itchy again and ran out again.
It is deliberately at some family gathering, someone holding a mobile phone to chat with others. As soon as he took out his mobile phone to chat with others, his expression had a slightly sweet reaction. His wife will definitely go crazy, she will cry, and when it is serious, she will scream.
Then, the man will pretend to be innocent and say, "Look at how irrational my wife is?"
Why did I want to run away from this family, because of her?
Then think about the person next to you, how would you feel?
Then, this man will also say to his wife with confidence, don't you look at it?
I wasn't the only one who said this about you, others thought you had lost your mind, and then he ran out again.
If that's how you react, and you're in such a predicament, you need to know that you may be being attacked emotionally.
The wife is often moody, is it an overreaction after the husband's emotional abuse?