Recently, I missed the Sanxingdui study with the participation of Academician Zeng, so that my son, who had consulted a variety of information in Sanxingdui, did not give up, so he took them to visit Sanxingdui in the first week of school when the academic burden was small.
During the visit to Sanxingdui, the father served as a part-time tour guide, and in the guidance of the father, the son also played freely, occasionally acting as a part-time lecturer.
Looking at the son who was talking endlessly in front of the exhibits and plants, thinking of the "social cow" son who talked to each dinosaur in the Zigong Dinosaur Museum a year ago and attracted visitors to listen to him as a tour guide, and the "social fear" son who was fully prepared but had stage fright on Friday a day ago, this turned out to be the same child, which made me dumbfounded. Is he a "social cow" or a "social fear"?
Perhaps, the question of social cattle or social fear is not important.
First of all, there is a term called "starting with the end in mind", which means that before taking action, we should think clearly about the goal of the matter and take measures according to the goal. Similarly, there are also "instrumental rationality" and "substantive rationality" in management, both of which jointly state that actions should be consistent with goals. Well, it's the same with raising children. "Social cattle" and "social fear" are instrumental rationality, and living a good life is substantive rationality; "Social cattle" and "social fear" are a way of action, and "living a good life" is the ultimate goal. In this way, the most important thing is the ability to communicate and output. Because social cattle and social fear not only have nothing to do with whether they are excellent or not, but also cannot determine whether children can live a good life. Social fear does not mean that communication skills are poor and output ability is weak, and social cattle do not mean that communication ability and output ability are necessarily good. Because people are inherently complex. Many celebrities are biased towards social phobia in their personalities, but they are very social in the fields they love and are good at. The only thing that can support output and professional communication is real talent and inner enrichment. With real talent, personality independence, and sunshine and self-confidence, you will have the courage and ability to express yourself in public. From this point of view, the courage to express oneself is not a skill, nor is it a good quality, but a natural consequence. For example, my son, he can be followed by the little fan brother and little fan sister in the museum, but he can't speak for two minutes in the class leader election.
Secondly, it is not necessary for children to be trained to talk and be left and right, which is not a necessary condition for a good and successful life. Because whether you live well and succeed is not the result of the goal, because the road to success cannot be planned, but constantly to test the next stepping stone and walk out step by step. Just like many people envy Professor Huang Yongyu's life and envy his idle and wild crane-like life. But I think it is not the professor's living condition itself that needs to be envied, but the ability to choose his own self-consistent life. The noblest thing in the world is not some kind of life, but the ability to live in the most comfortable state of oneself, have the right to choose to live as you want, and control your own destiny. People's personalities are diverse, and what suits them is the best life, just like not forcibly letting social fear children do public relations exercises in the name of "good for you" and "love", and letting "social cow" children guard the lighthouse, which is torture, torture, and purgatory for people with inappropriate personalities. Because even if you work out, it conveys the evaluation of "you can't do it", which is also a manifestation of lack of self-confidence and self-confidence. Nor can there be peace in the heart. The ultimate goal of parents - happiness - will be disappointed.
Therefore, as a parent, you should focus on what you desire, not worry, and give your child more help and blessings. Children need their parents to convey confidence, courage, and strength, not anxiety, doubt, and worry. As for "social cow" or "social fear", let the child explore and develop on his own. After all, this world needs not only big trees, but also small grasses to decorate. As long as you can find your own suitable position, be self-consistent, and be happy.