My name is Zhang Daming, 75 years old, from Jinan, Shandong, and I was an engineer before I retired. The monthly pension of 4,200 yuan is quite acceptable in our small city. I have two children, a son and a daughter, both of whom are developing out of town and rarely come home. My wife passed away three years ago, and I've been living alone ever since. I want to tell you through my personal experience that don't go my way for the elderly, I regret it. The story begins with the death of my wife. At that time, I felt lonely and helpless like never before. My children couldn't go home often because they were busy with work, so I started to think about providing for the elderly. I thought that with my retirement pension and some savings, I would be able to guarantee a comfortable old age. But the truth is far from being as simple as I thought. My initial idea was to retire at home. I bought a lot of books and was ready to enjoy reading. I also want to learn to paint, do gardening, and live a quiet and fulfilling old age. However, it soon became clear that this lifestyle was not for me. Loneliness followed, and long periods of solitude made me more and more silent and even a little depressed. Next, I tried to participate in some senior activities, such as square dancing and senior college. Although these activities have enriched my life a little, I have found that what I really need is the companionship and care of my family. So, I made a decision, I decided to move to my son's city, hoping to be able to live with my family. I rented out my house, and with my pension, my life should be more comfortable. 
However, the reality is much more complicated than I expected. When I moved in, I quickly found myself a "liability". My son and daughter-in-law are busy with work and their grandchildren go to school, and the pace of life in their family is completely different from mine. I try to keep myself busy, helping with household chores, picking up and dropping off my grandchildren, but I always feel marginalized. What made me feel most lost was that my relationship with my son and daughter-in-law also began to become strained. They often get a little impatient with me because of the pressure of work. I began to wonder if I had made the wrong choice. As the days passed, my heart grew heavier and heavier. I began to reflect, why did my old age become like this? Am I overly idealistic about my expectations for retirement? Perhaps, I should be more independent and find a way to care for the elderly that really suits me. Eventually, I made the decision, I decided to go back to my hometown and start living alone again. I started participating in some community events and made some new friends. Although life is still a bit lonely, I have learned how to enjoy solitude and how to make my life more meaningful. 
This experience made me deeply realize that pension is not only a material arrangement, but also a spiritual preparation. I regret that I didn't think it through and blindly thought that living with my family would solve all my problems. Now, although I still live alone, I feel more free and happy. I started writing, recording my thoughts, and even learning to use social ** to share my daily life with my friends. My story tells you that there are thousands of ways to provide for the elderly, but the most important thing is to find the one that suits you. Don't rush into decisions, and don't blindly follow others. Everyone's old age should be unique, and the important thing is to live happily and satisfactorily. -end-